People that you absolutely loath!
By ahgong
@ahgong (10064)
Singapore
January 5, 2009 3:10am CST
Have you ever met someone, that if you do not see the person physically, you can actually talk about the fella with your family or friends, and even shop for a gift for the fella.
But the minute you see that fella, your blood will just boil and all that loath you have for that fella will just fill you up so much, you totally cannot even stand to be in the same room as the fella?
And your loathing for the fella is so great, even when the fella sneezes, you think it is wrong!
Heck, to some point even, if the fella breath, you find that offensive.
Ever come across such a person?
How do you handle such people?
If the person is a friend or someone not related, it is easy to ignore them. What if that fella is related by blood? And you cannot ignore the fella even if you try, what would you do?
3 people like this
6 responses
@neuronic (242)
• Japan
6 Jan 09
As long as _the fella_ is not yourself, everything is ok. You can just ignore people. I don't really know anyone that my blood would boil only because I stand next to them. But, of course, there are some people that I don't like, but that has nothing to do with their looks, but with actions they have taken.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
6 Jan 09
It can be their looks. It can be their actions. It can also be their history.
I am sure when you loath someone, there is a reason.
The question here being, if you cannot avoid the fellow, how would you handle the situation?
May boil is too strong a word. But I am sure you know what I mean.
The fact that you get really impatient whenever you are with that person, you are not able to see the better side of the person when he/she is in your presence, is enough for you to want to get out of the room lest you unleash upon him/her your utter dislike for him/her.
It is always easy to avoid the person. But what if this person cannot be avoided?
Like say, he/she is your sibling living under the same roof?
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
7 Jan 09
This is a totally new way to look at it.
The problem lies with me and not the repulsive person?
Hmm... no matter how I look at it, we are not at fault.
I really do not know how to put this to you.
It is like a cow. If you want the cow to become better, is it me who cannot teach the cow? Or is it the cow refuse to learn?
1 person likes this
@neuronic (242)
• Japan
7 Jan 09
I'd say this boils down to integrity of a person. As you stated, when you cannot see anything positive about some person, there's always a reason for that. It's either hidden in their past, or it's what they're doing at the moment. I find it hard to believe that someone would be so repulsive that you couldn't stand to be in the same room with them for no reason at all. The problem is still not theirs, it's yours. And the solution is still the same. Move out. Ignore. Or simply put - stay away at any cause.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Wow! I honestly don't know how I would handle that situation. If I could not get away from the person in question, I think I'd probably try to have a little chat with him/her and let them know my feelings and it would be best if they tried their best to avoid me! At the very least, I would try to ignore them as much as possible. Just how closely related are we talking about here?
I have met such a person in my life, many decades ago. My mother was very much into the political scene at the time and was working on the presidential campaign of someone I'd rather not mention. (Nasty person, he was... I was sooo glad he didn't win!)
Anyway, there was some local guy, a surgeon, I believe, who was running for something or other. My mother had told me about this man but I honestly didn't have any feelings for him one way or another. I was 19 at the time and too young to vote, so it made no difference to me.
My mother had invited him to our house one time and I had an immediate and intense dislike of this man! Short, fat and obnoxious, he quickly ran over to me, grabbed my hand and started shaking it, introducing himself with a very obviously fake smile on his face. My immediate reaction was to say, "I'm not going to vote for you" to which he immediately dropped both my hand and his smile. I was GOING to add that I was too young to vote but he never gave me the chance. (Luckily, HE didn't win, either!)
I can only imagine it being ever so much harder when it's a relative!
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
6 Jan 09
Well, at least you managed to leave that fella.
And he is a sad lonely man.
But there are some people you just cannot avoid.
And sometimes, these are the very people you loath the most!
So much so, you cannot stand the sight of the fella.
I mean, when you do not see the fella, you can still talk about that fella. Even make jokes at his expense. But once you lay eyes on him, your blood just boils.
I know talking to him about how you feel is suppose to be the way to go if you cannot avoid him. But what if you talk to him, and he doesn't listen? Sort of like talking to a cow chewing crud. What do you do then?
How do you deal with such a person then?
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
7 Jan 09
Well, there are all sort of people in this world.
Some are just more selfish than others.
And when the selfish ones are also self centered, that really takes the cake.
They think the whole world revolves around them.
It is this kind of people you love to loath. And when you do, the above scenario in the first post is usually the sentiment felt each time you lay eyes on them.
No?
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
6 Jan 09
Hmmm, well, I think, if I had to spend any amount of time with him, and he was getting in my face over and over again, I'd have to tell him to leave me alone because I can't stand him and that the very sight of him makes me want to put my fist in his face or my foot up his, umm, butt.
I don't have much patience with people like that and I would most likely tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he was THE most irritating person I've ever encountered and he annoys everyone (even if he doesn't, but it sounds like he does) and that no one likes him anyway, so why not just go away?
You can choose your friends but, unfortunately, you cannot choose your relatives. Is this person living with you? If I understood your relationship with him better, I could probably give you a much more accurate account of the way I would deal with this situation.
If people won't listen, write them a letter. Sometimes people are more receptive to what you have to say if it's written down.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
7 Jan 09
Yes I have and my face totally shows it! So yea.. hope never to meet those people again. Who knows what I might do to them? 
Thank goodness those people are not my family/relatives. I find it easy to ignore them. Just DON'T pick up the calls and DON'T reply the messages.
Thank goodness those people are not my family/relatives. I find it easy to ignore them. Just DON'T pick up the calls and DON'T reply the messages. 1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
5 Jan 09
That sounds very serious.. It has not happened to me b4 and i'm lucky for that.. hehe ^_^ I dun like such tension rising things because it will only make things worst than before..
I think the way to solve it, is to talk it out.. BEcause only thru communication, is the best way to know how one feels.. If one does not wanna talk, then it will be better to avoid.. But when it comes to blood related person, only them will know each other best.. It's just a matter of giving in and stepping back..
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
6 Jan 09
Captain Picard from Star Trek once said, ""They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate countless worlds, and we fall back. Not again. Not this time. The line must be drawn here! This far, no farther!".
A line has to be drawn some where some time. And if you keep moving that line back each time the loathsome person crosses it, there will be a time where you cannot take it anymore!
In such a situation, what would you do then?
How many new lines are you gonna draw till you call it quits and say, "This is it. The final line I will draw. No farther. Cross it again, and you will get the ultimatum from me!"?
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
7 Jan 09
I will keep drawing and drawing till i'm at my limit, b4 i will unleash it back at him, forcing him to pull back.. Just like u say, there are ple whom wil alwaus be pushing their luck, so i will just unleash myself at the right time and do something that really make them fearful of me..
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
6 Jan 09
That sounds like deep hatred. I know I have felt that way before but I have learned to ignore it. I am no longer friends with the person to whom I felt that way for, and I am glad. I did work with her and she was nicer and tolerable. You just have to learn to ignore the person, I know it's not easy but it can be done.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
6 Jan 09
Hmm... that is considered deep hatred?
Like I said, it is easy if the person in question is a friend or an aquaintance.
But how do you deal with such a person if it is a relative?
Like your uncle, or your aunt or maybe, even your father or mother?
How do you deal with such a situation where you jut cannot stand the sight of the fella but you cannot avoid or ignore the person?
@regal_aeros (2605)
• Singapore
6 Jan 09
hmm...
well, i don't loath that person i have in mind. But it's just that i don't wish to be associated with her. Though i'm cool with her, no bad blood, but her mannerisms just doesn't sit with me.
as a matter of fact, whenever we happen to be in the same class, i would try to avoid sitting with her. Though we might make small talk during breaks, but i would never sit with her nor do a project with her.
I would say, i'd keep her as an acquaintance. BUt that's that.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
6 Jan 09
Well, at the very least, you still keep her as an aquintance.
And you will still make small talk. But you keep her at a distance.
This shows that she is still not as loathsome as I described in my opening line.
I am talking about people you loath so much, the second you lay eyes on them, you feel like taking off your shoes and smack the fella silly!
What happens if such a person is someone you cannot avoid?
Say, if this loathsome person is your Lecturer? Where you have to go to her to seek advise for your module?
Or your tutor, who will be grading you at the end of the semester?
What would you do then?
How would you handle this then?
