Rest and recreation

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All this talk about panda spanking, and some of the no so subtle double entendres that have raised their ugly little heads in the course of some of our discussions reminded me of a song I wrote back in the early nineties, after the failure of my 4th marrigae, to a feminist social worker. I mean I should have had my head read; a social worker for Chrissake. Anyway, I thought I would share it with my fellow panda spankers. The last verse may provide a certain clue as to the genesis of my panda spanking predilictions. REST AND RECREATION 1. There are times I wish that I’d been born In the garden before the fall, ‘Cause I’m part of a species facing extinction Backs against the wall. And the fact that we love these Visigoths Is the cruellest jest of all - They’re middle-class women with Master’s Degrees In removing a gentleman’s balls. 2. As a fair-minded man I could see that women Get the short end of the stick, So I read the books, and I learned the line Thinking that might do the trick. But all of that meant diddly-sh1t,I must’ve been as thick as a brick, ‘Cause I found that what a lot of them want Is a woman with a (I can't say THAT!). 3. I learned to be a sensitive Newage guy, You know, a SNAG. But you’ll notice it rhymes with sewage And translates as a bloody dag. I could cook and wash and clean and sew And do it like a prize stud stag. I’d have made some woman a wonderful wife ‘Cause I never learned how to nag (oops). Bridge. I’ve spent six years in the muck and slime Of the trenches of the gender war. And I think the time has come for me To get some R & R. 5. So give me a girl, an old-fashioned girl With matching knickers and bra, And a sexy dress and that forties look To remind me of my ma. And I don’t give a damn if the rose in her cheek Comes out of an Avon jar, With bells in her nipples and a ring through her nose --- Hell, I think I’ve gone a little too far. Bridge. But I’ve spent six years in the muck and slime Of the trenches of the gender war. And I think the time has come for me To get some R & R. Lash