What is wrong with the men today?

United States
January 7, 2009 9:05am CST
I have been married for 8 years and 5 months and 2 days and I have been dating my husband for almost 13 years. Someone please tell me what is wroing with the men today that they will just throw away an invested relationship that long. We have 2 children together and he raised my 18 years old. Now my life is gone and my children are homeless and fatherless. I don't have a job and he makes a little bit of nothing working at a pizza place acting like a teenager again. He lives with is father now and My children and I have had to move in with my parents. I am tired of sleeping on the floor and not hving a life. I can't find a job and I don't know what to do or how to live again. And I have noticed so many more men doing the same thing. What is happening? Can anyone help me? Is the world going crazy?
2 people like this
12 responses
@sunshine4 (8708)
• United States
7 Jan 09
I am sorry that you are going threw this. Have you discusses things with him, or did he just leave? If he is willing to repair things, you really should go to marriage counceling with him. I believe that anyone, man or woman, can make mistakes in a marriage, but if you truely love that person, you can forgive and get past it.
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Holly, this happened to my daughter. He told her he still 'loved' her, and asked her for a divorce that same Sunday morning! She had no clue! He said, I just don't want to be married anymore. HEY, man, you're leaving a family of 4 kids behind! Well, turns out he had another woman on the string that he married exactly 63 days after the divorce she didn't want. She tried her best to get him to commit to counseling, but he didn't want that. That was 8 1/2 years ago. She's still single and raising her kids and enjoying them. He is childless with this other woman, claims his 4 and told her she'd never have any kids by him. But still, that isn't fair to my daughter or her children. They will resent him as they get older. They already have hardly any interest in seeing him anymore. Money doesn't do it for the kids. It's personal contact and being there for them.
@GAUCI123 (1042)
• Malta
7 Jan 09
Well I am sorry for the difficult times you and your family are passing. It is true that not only men even women are acting crazy. After a certain age, I think that they feel so boared with the same life which makes them want to feel adventuous and feel young again. Well it is a pity that the thing you and your husband had bulit for years have been demolised in a day. My father was acting the same which was making my mother crazy, and the reason who knows, he dosen't know even himself. We passed a terrible year, seeing mum and dad fighting all day, and my brother who still lives with them was getting crazy, now they calmed down and are back together. Try talking to a marriage counseller so to try and help you out.
• New Zealand
8 Jan 09
Yeah marriage couselling worked for my hubby and I.....well so far anyway! We got to the stage where I realised I didn't love him anymore. Even worse, I had fallen out of love with him years before. But just between you and me, the journey over these last two years has found me falling in love with him all over again. Second time around is even better than the first, because this time its much deeper! The agreement has to be mutual though, (thats the catch) and a good cousellor helps!
@Frederick42 (2019)
• Canada
10 Jan 09
There are certain men who behave like this for reasons best known to them. This is a very sad thing. It would not be a botheration if the woman had a very good job and lot of money, then the family can be taken care of even without the man. The problem becomes unbearable when the woman is jobless and thus there is no money to provide for the family.
@ajrox1810 (992)
• India
8 Jan 09
That's some heavy stuff undergoing with you. One can never even think that his/her life can turn up so bad. First of all, you should build up a home business online, become a seller at eBay or start some website and earn money from it. Once the business is successfully established and easy to handle, pass it to your children and look for a job. This way you will keep earning and have enough money to live on a rent house. Regards, AJ-Rox
@dvmurphy (326)
• United States
8 Jan 09
It sounds like he is having a midlife crisis. Mine did to and we split up for 5 months and I went on with my life and he came back to me. The minute I started rebuilding my life and taking charge he wised up and came home. Mine cheated on me with another woman, went out and got his eyebrow pierced and bought a harley. We had two kids at the time, 7 & 11 years old. Don't let this tear you down. Focus on what you would like out of life and think about yourself for a while instead of him. Start a career, go back to school, maybe start a business or get involved with a community organization. Believe me any of these things can help you to refocus away from negatives things going on in your life.
• China
8 Jan 09
sorry to hear that.yes this world comes to crazy and men can destory their family easier than women does, does this is the reason why women are always the woundeed one. but please do remember women should have her own life and own income whatever and whomever she married, she would be less hurted if she meets the problem of divorce. just cheer up and creat you own life.good luck.
• China
8 Jan 09
[b][/b]I’m sorry to hear that .I don't know why too many men like this .There is a book called Fortess-Besieged written by Qian Zhongshu .People often say the people in fortess-besieged always want to out but people who is out is want to go in.Maybe some men doesn't like tie to the marriage.But once you got married,you must undertake your responsibility.But too many people can do that.What a pity? I holp without him ,you can live a better life.I will pray for you .
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Wow...for your first question you sure know how to start off with a "Bang", don't ya? You know, I was thinking of the same question today as I was cleaning my house. I'm 35 years old and have been married three times. Yes, you've read that correctly...three times. It's not something I'm proud of, at all. I don't know what it was, was it me? Was it the man? Was it both of us? My first one was destine to fail from day one because I was so young. My second was because I couldn't take his attitude or his religion. The last one, I couldn't take his religion or his attitude. I guess attitude is everything for me. My last one could have worked out, had he paid attention to his family rather than the teachings of others. He put the words of a pastor over his wife...yeah, I know that's supposed to happen, but things happened in the past with us that I would rather not think about. But, how could either three of those men just treat me, their wife (not at the sametime, I assure you) like crap? As a single person, I hear of single men who would love to have a woman of their own. They said how they would treat them and not talk down to the female. Men, can't live with them and you can't shoot 'em. *Pleiades
@achinthya (1219)
• India
8 Jan 09
hope your husband realise his mistakes and comes back repenting.......I am sure he will do this...Happy Mylotting!!
• United States
7 Jan 09
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going good for you. But I can only say that things will get better. It may not happen right away like you hope for it to be, but things will get better. I can never understand myself why guys are that way either. But keep your head up, and keep doing what you are doing.
• United States
7 Jan 09
It may feel like your world has gone crazy. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. It is going to hurt for a long time but it gets much much better eventually. You need to set some goals, and start getting things stable again for you and your kids. Good luck!
@KUSHANK55 (2437)
• India
7 Jan 09
well the things seem to have gone beyond repairable stage!!