When people disagree with your discussion badly, do you let go or give back.

India
January 7, 2009 10:33pm CST
Ive started a certain discussion in which somebody does not like me or my discussion and disagrees with me strongly, but with language I would not like to use, like you make me sick, or puke etc. I usually tend to ignore such comments and go on, for each is entitled to their opinion. However there are ways and ways to disagree without going dirty. I strongly want to write back and tell them so, but it will only create an open war of words and I dont want mylot to become a sounding board for words of war. So I feel I should let go. Have I done right? What would be your reaction to such phrases?
5 people like this
30 responses
@kprofgames (3096)
• United States
8 Jan 09
I have considered to not even respond to this because I think you're missing a point. When you start a discussion you have to realise that everyone is entitled to their own opinion; however if this refers to the discussion I think it does. I read through what others had posted and your responses and it seemed like whomever didn't agree with you, you left them a snippy response. Now a lot of times that can come from a language gap, but I see your English and usage is rather good. So, I can only say again, that when posting on here you have to realize that everyone isn't going to agree with you. Your responses towards others are going to be preceived as a person that wants to say something but not listen to anyone else. In turn, they will get alittle defensive towards you when you're not respecting them or their thoughts.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 09
Friend, my lot is all about being different, having to express your opinons and differ when you dont agree, but it should be done with grace. Every one is entitled to their opinions and I respect all of them. No five fingers are same. As you say, they are set in their ideas and will not listen to others opions. This just does not give them the right to be abusive. Well, Im going to be big hearted and forgive and forget. No sense in carrying gurdges in life. I feel life is too short to love, where is the time to fight. Thanks and you are indeed smart. You have hit the nail on the head. cheers.
• United States
9 Jan 09
Well then maybe in your next discussion you will consider that and not be so rude to your responders that don't agree with you. As for the responder that you started this discussion about? I stand with her on her opinion of what you think because you made it so clear throughout you your discussion. Call it differences in cultures as you will, but you also have to realize that YOU are dealing with other people and your calus remarks to them will be taken to heart. Even if you didn't respond to this particular person, you still made it clear through your thread what you believed in, and even with me that I sat in judgement of another when you have no idea what I CHOOSE to do every day of my own life. Be the better person? I think you should be kissing her feet for even responding to your thread.
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
You've done the right thing dear. Yes, there are too many in here who are just closed-minded. You cannot please everybody. Mylot is a community and its purpose is to make it grow by rewarding its members through their efforts. However, there are members here that I really cannot delineate why they have to be defensive on discussions or on topics that you never intend to be offensive. It's playing on my mind that if a certain topic is offensive to you, why bother responding to it, right? There are members here who can't control their temper when in fact everyone have the opportunity to choose a topic to respond on that truly interests them...Some times, that situation isn't happening. You really can't control other people's mind. That is why, MYLOT should do something about it and be discreet. I have encountered people who made provoking words or response to my discussions. I wanted to ignore it most of the time. But, we are just human, we also want to defend ourselves. Once or twice, I had to comment on their response still in a nice way. Worse, when I checked on the profile of those who made a provoking response to my discussion, i found out that he/she belongs to my friends list. Too bad really...Am hoping after my comment, he/she would realize that the discussion was just a topic that is something to discuss on and not intended to offend someone. Am also hoping that he/she would not rate me in the negative because I have not done wrong. Am in GOOD FAITH that every discussion I make is not intended to offend anybody...Surely, the same as you are.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
As you so rightly said, one can choose discussions and topics, so why answer discussions which turn you purple. I mean there are ways and ways of putting it without being personal. Actually, the funny part is after this discussion my rating increased to 10. Well, the rating does not matter so much as hurting a person, just because you dont agree with them. Discussions are like debates, where one has to put in the pros and cons of it and that too nicely. Ive never yet hurt anybody on mylot nor will I ever. If I dont like a topic, I ignore it rather than hurt somebody. Thanks a lot for all the courage and strength I get from you mylotters. Im blessed with your friendship.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jan 09
I agree with you.... why would you waste time on a discussion that makes you angry? Just move on and find one you like. More than likely the person who wrote those things is a miserable person, unhappy with himself and wants to make other people miserable also. Remember that misery loves company. I think I would also report them to admin.
1 person likes this
@regal_aeros (2606)
• Singapore
8 Jan 09
well, i'd just treat these people as children who are immatured and let it go. and yes you've done the right thing to just let it go. no point in bringing yourself that low too right. i do agree with you that there are many ways to disagree. For me i choose the most politically correct way to disagree. At times when i do get hurt by such comments, i would just take a deep breath and scroll down. I'd just pretend that i didn't see it. Because if i were to react on my emotions, things will get ugly.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 09
Thanks for your comforting words. It makes a lot of difference. I was sorely tempted to write back, but then better sense prevailed, and I let go. Youngsters use this forum also, so it would create a bad impression on them. Thanks once again.
• Australia
8 Jan 09
I'd say you did the best thing you could. If they personally hate me, I would ignore them or if they totally disagree with my discussion and use harsh words I'd just reply with some comment like, "Okay, that's your opinion, but I think differently. Thanks for Sharing. :)"
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
I did write that its their opinion and they are entitled to it, but they came back stronger. Such people are best left alone. thanks.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
8 Jan 09
I appreciate when people who do not agree with my viewpoint, give thier response in ways of not making it seem personal. But if someone was making personal statements in the way that ou have described, i would say a few words and then let it go if it tends to carry on.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
No sense in stooping to their level. Discussions should be enjoyed and we have the choice to choose our discussions. So there was no need to get personal. Anyway, this forum is for the family where kids also read and discuss. So, its best to let go. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Hello ketybhagat! Better ignore the person than spend your time thinking about it. So what if he/she felt that way to you? You don't know him/her anyway. You're here for earnings, for friends and discussions so don't be bother with just one person. I also have encountered one too when I responded to a discussion and he gave comment there saying I am gold diggers or filipina are gold diggers but I just ignored him and that's the end of the story. From then I tried to avoid him and avoid all his discussions.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
I know there are some mean persons on this forum who cannot accept that discussions are meant to be healthy without going into mud slanging. That man must be a lout to say such things. Good you ingnored him. All the best.
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
8 Jan 09
I either would just let it go and tell them they have the right to their own opinion or I would get silly and sarcastic with them. Usually I just let it go
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
Thanks pal. No use stooping to their level. This forum is for the family and Id hate youngsters read such language.
1 person likes this
@saizo6 (2211)
• United States
8 Jan 09
I actually think you did the right. It was good of you to let it go. You would just play right into their hand if you stooped down to that person's level and started replying with similar comments. It would just drag everything and make things more unpleasant. People like that should be ignored. I haven't had to deal with something like that on here but I dealt with a somewhat similar situation at work the other day. Some girl decided to attack me verbally for no reason at all. She was causing quite a scene too. I was very, very pissed off and so badly wanted to tell her off but refrained from doing so. I wasn't going to lower myself and have a shouting match with some immature teenager.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
Thanks for your support and advice. I really feel bad when people can stoop so low. This is a forum for the family and as such people should refrain from such words where little children can read. You also did the right thing in not getting into a slanging match with her, but then she should not take this as your weakness. You can firmly and softly tell her off. Cheers.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
Why would I let my time use for them? They are not worth talking. Period!! LOL
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 09
Thanks, thats a load of my mind. Part of me wanted to fight back, but then they are not worth it. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@Llonorra22 (1150)
• Philippines
9 Jan 09
It will surely make me sick if I will be in your situation. Write them back in a polite manner. Tell them why you write those words, but if they still do that just ignore them for as long as you know that you answered them politely. Let them pull their own tail. Happy posting!
• India
12 Jan 09
Thanks Llorna, I think ignoring them is the best. I did try and explain but they are set in their way of thiking and are entitled to their own way of thinking. Being rude is not my way of replying back. No sense in stooping to their level. Thanks pal.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
You're very welcome my friend!!! Happy posting!
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
8 Jan 09
We the myLot members should not misbehave with fellow members.Somebody may not agree with other's discussion.The answer should be with polite words.I also don't want to take revange.I don't believe the principle of blood for blood.I appriciate your 'let go' principle.Behavior denotes one's character.
• India
9 Jan 09
Thanks a lot bhanusb. You have always adviced well and I am indeed previleged to have you as a friend. Everybody is entitled to opinions, but it shoud be done politely or not at all. We can all choose the topics to reply. I know now of their upbringing. Thank you once again.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
9 Jan 09
kety I'm also delighted to get you as my friend.Many thanks.
• Ireland
26 Jan 09
I did experience such incident her. I was also debating to myself whether to reply back but that wouldn't be me. I decided to let go and focus more on those repsonce that are more calm and proper. I believe you did the right thing. And well done on your self control. Have a nice day!
• India
27 Jan 09
Thank you friend. It was indeed hurtful and I did try and explain my view point, but it just got worse. In that case, i decided to ignore it. It can only get worse and I did not like to make mylot into a slinging match. After all youngsters also are a part of the mylot family. You too did a wise thing. Well done.
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
11 Jan 09
You are right by ignoring the person my friend. I saw another person who did something like that to my friend. She didn't fight back and tried to control her temper. Although when I saw what he said, I couldn't help but say something because he was extremely rude. It's ok to ignore them but if you really feel that you have to fight back you can. As much as possible, try to sound calm and educated when you try to do that.
• India
12 Jan 09
I tried to explain my viewpoint, but they just turned to worse, so its better to ignore such people and never ever join their discussion and hope they never reply to mine in future. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
9 Jan 09
Your right. you are the better person, just ignoring them, if they continue to abuse you verbally instead of discussing your discussion, they are being disgusting, you could always report them. . But i would just ignore them or say thanks for your opinion. I think it makes people more mad when they are rude to you and you are still pleasent back to them.
• India
9 Jan 09
I did try and explain my view point again, but they chose to be offensive, so i left it at that. Discussions are ment to be differed, but in a heathy way, taking in the logical and emotional aspect of the discussion. Well, to each his own. Thanks a million.
• China
9 Jan 09
well you did right, just let it go and even let those attracted people feel enjoy themself.it's waste of time to argue with person online specially when someone use the rude and nonsense words. i also used to try to prove what is right with those carry different views . but now i realized we are different so they disagree us, why wast time to try to persuade them...
• India
9 Jan 09
Disagreeing is ones prerogative, and Id love to read opinions which are differing to mine. However, its best to disagree politely. It just shows the forum your true colours. Many p eople have guessed who the person is. Anyway, the chapter is closed, so hurrah and cheers to all my friends who have supported me. Many thanks.
• United States
8 Jan 09
Hey ketybhagat, I try to take each response separately and treat each one on an individual basis. I say choose your battles wisely, which I think you did. Unfortunately, there are always "bad apples" who have nothing better to do but be mean, and ignorant, personally even on mylot I have the philosphy I was taught since I was knee-high to a fence post and that is "if you don't haven't anything good, loving, positive or nice to say, then don't say anything at all". I have yet to figure out why some persons just like to be "jerks" especially in a situation as mylot presents, which is you have a choice on what discussions you choose to participate in, no one is forcing any one to join or comment on any discussions. So I treat each response individually, if the respondent is really mean and nasty, I don't bother with them, if they are expressing themselves appropriately I generally will comment on their comments even if they are negative. And don't forget like any cyber relationships, you can get "kids" thinking they are being so funny by making smart remarks, just to hear themselves talk. -- You did the right thing!! be happy, be joyful, be safe and be strong! oohcute2340
• India
9 Jan 09
Being able to disagree politely says a lot for your upbringing, is what I feel. Mylot forum is such that one will encounter many ideas, some for and some against your discussion, and it is your birthright to express your views on such a forum. How you do it matters. Disagree, but with grace of upbringing. Anyway, I chose to ignore, forgive and forget, so the matter ends here. Thanks for your guidance and help.
@conbill (369)
• United States
8 Jan 09
I would consider the source and let it go. I know when I read some of the responses not only to my discussions but to others where people act like this I just say to myself it must be sad to be so unhappy that you act this way towards other people. I feel you are definitely doing the right thing by letting it go. It just goes to show how much better a person you are. Misery loves company, so why make these types of people happy.
• India
9 Jan 09
Well said, misery love company. Its new to me. Well, the matter is now finished, I chose to ignore. Disagreeing is our birthright on mylot, but it sh ould be done with grace. Being abusive never helps anybody. It just brings out their true colours. Thanks.
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Its ok to disagree. That's the point of mylot. To share opinions and get an idea of what others think. There are no right or wrong answers when opinions are given. To use hurtful language though is another story. I've gotten a few angry posts, but they have never been really disrectful, maybe the person was venting a bit, or had a very strong opinion and stresed it. I don't take it personally, nor would I respond back (like you I see no point). The readers here are smart enough to figure out who it better person and poster. I'd let it go too. Those sorts of answers are few and far between, so its best to ignore them and not let ruin your experience. Enjoy!
• India
9 Jan 09
We all are different people with differing opinions. Its a healty debate where one tends to express their opions, but there has to be limit to expression. Id rather ignore them in future and hope they ignore my discussions too. As you so wisely say, such answeres are few and far inbetween. No sense in stooping to their level. Many thanks for your support. You guys are great.
@shanemre (357)
• Saudi Arabia
8 Jan 09
Yes let it go. People are sometimes like that, they will always have something to say. Even if they know you are telling the right thing, one single hole that they see will be thrown against you. Stand firm on your ideas and don't give them the chance to bother you. If they want to say anything... let them... but then when they get too much, like if they are becoming personal already then you should have to talk back, but keep calm. Get even, but in a nice way.
• India
9 Jan 09
I understand your view point completely, but Id rather let go. I did try to explain by answereing to their reply, but it just got worse. Ive better things to do, and my upbringing does not allow me to be rude on a forum where youngsters are members too. Thanks for your love and guidanace.
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
You did the right thing.. if i were in your shoes, i'd do the same thing.. I'll let it pass and continue to what i'm doing.. in the first place, they aren't worthy of my time.. i won't waste my time arguing with them..
• India
9 Jan 09
Yes gracie, its best to ignore such people for they have just showed their upbringing. I have better things to do than have a war of words with them, and that too on a forum where youngsters are members. Thanks a million.