mothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have issues with my mom to the point that I have stopped interacting with her except for the basic niceties. Similar to you, due to some problems, my son gets down at her place after school and so I get to meet her daily when I go to pick my son after office. Since the time I remember, she has never had one word of praise for any of my efforts. Whatever I did never met with her standards. She will help you out but only after grinding your nose to the ground for doing a worthless job and then she’ll step in to show how its done (according to her)…she was trying to do the same to my son. I would take none of it so I had a big showdown one day and threatened to put him in some crèche so that I would no longer have to take her sacrifices and guidance and redemption. I know exactly how you feel…I love her too and sometimes I remember my childhood days and moments when I clung to her bosom and her smell and her hugs and tears come to my eyes. I really don’t know why she is the way she is. I have seen so many moms totally appreciative of every tiny effort of their children…yet here I am!

That is sad to hear. I would get out of there as soon as you can. It is not good for your kids to see that. They may even resort to drinking when they get older because that is what they see. I hope to god they don't, but it doesn't sound like you mother is being a very good role model. If your mother has a bf why does she need your help? You have kids, you need to worry about them and you first. Granite she is your mother, but she is an adult and should take care of herself. I wish you the best of luck!!

my mother doesnot drink and she is quite good with my kids but one thing which really bothers me is,when she says she has a weak heart or she has some other disease and she doesnt agree to go for checkup also.........i donot know why she does so

I have been there before too with my mom. We had not spoke for a few years until here recently. I love my mom too but we had issues to deal with. Things are better now for us.

Sorry to hear that your mother has become this way. It doesn't sound like a good enviroment for the children. Children will memick what they see and hear, and if you keep them in that kind of household, it will cause you more problems as they age. You need to do what is best for the kid. If your mother has just started acting this way, maybe there is something wrong, such as medical or depression. That may be treated. But, you need to put your children first above anything else. Even if it means upsetting your mother. Sometime, when someone is so down on themselves they only see the wrong. There is nothing you can do to please them. I know, My husband is that way. I can do nothing right. And he never says how good something looks, not even me. As far as my mother we get along real good. But I also live in the med west and she lives in CA. I talk to her quite often. But haven't seen her in meny years. Good luck with your problem, and just sit down and look into the eyes of your children. That will tell you what to do, fallow your heart. God bless you and be safe

My mother was kind and caring although she did get a bit selfish later on in life,not bothered whether she saw my children or not,but she wanted her freedom and that is what she got,she has passed away now,but my goodness you poor thing.Move out and have a life for goodness sake,you are only there to subsidise her drinking maybe once you have your own place you might make a better relationship with her,drink does terrible things to people when taken daily and a lot of it.I strongly urge you to move out as you don't deserve to live a life like that and how on earth will you meet anyone if you have her dragging you down,My mum always encouraged us to get on with life ,get married have kids and be happy,and that is what I have done with my kids,love and cherish them and their children I find it hard to think of the abuse you are acccepting as normal.Maybe you could put her in touch with AA or some organisation who helps people with drink problems,Please don't think I am advocating deserting her,I am not ,but no one should be exposed to this abuse and that what is happening to you abused.you deserve better ,I always say that you cannot be responsible for someone elses life as they have the choices you have,just move out and try to get her some help,but it is up to her if she takes help or not,I have had this very conversation with my kids as their father is reliant on drink to survive and goodness they have tried to help them and they are thirty three and thirty but they have come to the conclusion they love their dad but it is up to him how he lives his life.Please take care of yourself,don't wait till you get belted like I did before you do anything.xx