A sterile woman snatches and loves an abused child ,who should the child go to ?

@ronnyb (6119)
Jamaica
January 11, 2009 11:21am CST
This ,child who is abused every single day of her life ,is finally taken from the mother and exposed to a loving and kind environment .Much later she is found and is now so attached to her new parents and home. Should the child be returned to her original home ? or should she be turned over to the state ?.Do you think they should let the child decide ?. Disclaimer : The incidents described in the discussion above are purely fictitious, I am just trying to get an idea of how you think this issue should be resolved .Hope I didn’t mislead you ,wasn’t my intention Thank you in advance for your response
11 people like this
24 responses
@lynnemg (4538)
• United States
11 Jan 09
If the woman kidnapped the child, then how is she really being loving and caring of the child? If she is aware of the situation in which the child was living, she should go to the authorities and allow them to intervene. She could gain custody of the child through legal matters rather than through illegal ones. If she kidnapped the child, she has caused that child unneccessary mental and emotional problems. She may have given the child a better life, but she went about it the wrong way.
3 people like this
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
11 Jan 09
A well thought out answer ,even though some persons are wary of the authorities but good answer.Thank you for responding
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jan 09
I think if the child was kidnapped, then neither of them deserve the child even though this child was being abused, because the woman took her from the home. If she believed that the child was being abused, she should have called child protective services and had the state involved. So my answer would have to be that the child should be turned over to the state. If the child then says well I would rather live with the woman who had taken me from my original parents, then I think after careful investigation in the woman who took the child and everything with investigation has turned out good, then maybe she could live with her. But I think the woman who had kidnapped the child from the abusive home should still have some type of punishment no matter what.
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
12 Jan 09
A fairly balanced answer for all concerned .Thank you for responding
1 person likes this
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
12 Jan 09
The child should be allowed to decide. If not, she should be allowed to remain in the loving home. Belonging to the state can be a roulette game for children. And abusive parents should never, ever, be allowed withing a mile of their children. They've already proven what they are, don't abuse the child more by forcing them back to the "reformed" (yeah, sure) parents. Love should be the deciding factor, and caring, not blood. Sometimes blood means less than nothing.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jan 09
i think the child should be able to stay with the new parents. if she was abused in the home of bio parents then they dont need kids. the system is screwed up. if you suspect child abuse or neglect and you call and report it what do they do? They give these people a call and give them time to straighten up before a visit to the home. thats it. nothing is changed. the abuse and neglect continues. but when good parents try to do whats right by their children they are the ones that get crapped on. i think if this was a real case the child should be left in the custody or given custody to the woman who rescued her and the bio abusive parents should go to jail!
2 people like this
@megsgem (123)
• United States
11 Jan 09
The courts should be lenient when they find out the biological parents were abusive. I was a bused as a child and dreamed of beeing saved so I want the new parents to get the child and the bios go to jail. However I live in the real world si iuf this happened in the usa the system would do this to the child: Put the good parents away for life. Give the kids to the biological and when it is proved they are abusive the state will put the child into a home or institution that will furthar the abuse so when the child turns 18 that person is confussed and angry and probebly messed up.
@ANTIQUELADY (36471)
• United States
11 Jan 09
poor little children , some of them don't have a chance. if she was being abused she shouldn't go back to her original home. they don't deserve her. so many people don't deserve to have children. i don't think u should steal a child away from it's parents. if they are proven unfit parents let that child be w/someone who will take care of her & love her.
2 people like this
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
16 Jan 09
"Gone Baby, Gone"? I saw that movie and oh my goodness...I was about ready to come through the screen and strangle that man myself! How dare he did what he did...good thing that girlfriend of his left him. I think that movie was very well done/ For me, I think the child was in a better place...with "papa". That mother didn't love that girl, she thought she did...but when life went back to normal, it was back to the same old same old...brushing the child to the side. What a shame. *Pleiades
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
12 Jan 09
Boy this is really a loaded question that you ask. I never thought of a scenario like that. Kidnapping is a terrible crime. However it would be ironic if the child was taken out of the home where there was terrible abuse. Turning the child over to the state would probably be the lawful thing to do but what do you do if the child grew so accustomed to the new mother. Boy! I don't know but that is so hard to even imagine. I would almost say to give the woman a chance to go get treatment and spend time paying for the crime of kidnapping, turn the child over to the state and see if the woman later was somewhat rehabilitated. It might not seem right but maybe the child should be taken care of by the kidnapper where she has been so loved and treated right.
@GADHISUNU (2164)
• India
12 Jan 09
They should let the child decide. Even a child would know who are abusive and who are not. If there was no love lost between the parents and the child, the biological parents simply don't deserve the child. The court should take a lenient view of the foster parents even if it is proven they have kidnapped the child. A fine could be imposed on the "kidnapping" foster parents just to enforce the rule of law. This fine can be either held by the state as an investment for the future of the child or thrust into the hands of the abusive parents as a "price" for their having begotten a child and a punishment for having ill-treated their own child. A public declaration of why they are being rewarded is shame enough to last more than a lifetime. But the child will decide which shall be her/his home.
1 person likes this
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
12 Jan 09
Oh well, i think... the sterile woman should be checked up on etc... and warned that if she does it again to any child she will serve a jail sentence... uhm... but i'd probably let the child decide. I'd definitely not let the child go back to her blood mother...
1 person likes this
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
12 Jan 09
I came across a story of a husband who took the baby left by the mother inside her car. The man gave the child to his wife who desperately wanted to have a child but couldn't. The child turned out to be abused by her own mother and that was why she was in the car all alone. The state punished the husband and the wife for taking the baby away but it did not return the baby to her abusive mother. I guess that just fair for everyone.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 09
Whether fiction or non- fiction , kidnapping is kidnapping . No matter how much it is sugar coated the law has been broken. Whether or not the child is being abused is up to law enforcent and child protective services to decide . If this woman had wanted to help the child , she should have called proper authorities and then filed to be a foster parent . But to answer your question, Yes the child should be returned to he natural mother and if child protective services feel a need to remove the child then they will. It doesn't matter at this moment what the child wants , the law is tha law . By keeping this child,( that was kid- napped ) you are teaching her that breaking the law is ok . If this were a real life situation, I would suggest you turn the child and your self into local authorities and let a jury decide if your actions were justifiable.
• India
12 Jan 09
The child’s wishes should definitely be taken into consideration. It is ultimately for the child’s future that any pertinent decision will have to be taken. So if the child is to have a bright and normal future, then she needs to have a proper healthy upbringing. Abuse, fear, torture all these negative surroundings will surely scar her and deny her healthy growth. However, there are some other factors too (mainly financial) the significance of which eludes a child and in such a case the court has to act wisely in the best interest of the child.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36137)
• United States
12 Jan 09
Well, in a case like this like others have mentioned how was the child acquired by the woman in the first place? If it was from kidnapping, then that might be Frowned upon when she tries to get permanent custody if the child is under a certain age, or was when the woman took it, but if the Mom of the child gave it to the Woman with her consent, then I guess it would be for the state to decide what to do from there. But if the child was being abused hopefully the last place this child would end up again would be the abusive home unless the Mom herself can prove to the state she has changed.
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Jan 09
I think the child shold have some say depending on how old he or she is and I believe the person that took the child should have a full background check to make sure there is nothing wrong with her. If she is proven to be the better parent then i would say the child should stay with the loving parent even if she isn ot biologically the mother.
1 person likes this
@ladybug565 (2217)
• United States
12 Jan 09
Neither of them should have the child. The kidnapper should go to jail and the child should be taken from the mother. they can put her through counseling and give her parenting classes, supervised visits and then decide if she deserves her child back, but kidnapping is a crime no matter why it is done. good discussion topic though. have a great night.
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
12 Jan 09
I'd like to say the child should stay with the loving family but a crime is a crime. And last I heard kidnapping is a crime. The proper avenues must be taken to have a child removed from an abusive situation. I know the justice system is always just however it is put into place for a reason. So the child should actually go to the state.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 09
well if the woman took the child because she knew it was being abused, then i defeniatly don't think there should be any punishment for her...and I don't think the child should go back to the original family, ESPECIALLY if the abuse was uncovered. But I do think that authorities should take the child, and then determine themseleves if the new woman can keep the child. If the woman and her faily can financially care for the child, and obviosuly already can emotionally--I say give her the child. I myself would find it hard to keep a child in an abusive situation if I could stop it. But if I ever found myself in this situation i would either bring her directly to a police station, or call the police and give them the address to the childs home so they can go get her. And, if I could I would defeniatly get evidence of abuse first...if I somehow got hold of the child, I would take pictures of bruises, or any kind of wounds they may have, to give them to the police. I would trust them to do the right thing; when it comes to cops they get VERY close to child cases.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I would say that the child should be taken by the State until a full investigation into the bio parents could be done (to decide whether or not abuse really existed and if so are then NOW fit parents) and the child snatcher should be charged with kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment or somethign along those lines..
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5004)
• Netherlands
11 Jan 09
You can go around this topic in two ways. The first is legal (what does the law say about this?), and the second ethical (what ethics do I have, what would the properb thing to do be?). I don't think you can merely turn to either one of them, and need them both. If the child is old enough I strongly encourage listening to the child. What does the child want? What are it's experiences? I do agree that a woman who kidnaps a child is not going through the right steps to help the child and causing it damage all the same, but on the other hand she might have been instable but eager to help the child; those are things that could cause a judge to be more mild. But at the same time: is the woman stable now, and can she take care of a kid? And can an act like this be forgiven so lightly? Also, we don't know the type of abuse you are referring to, how severe is the abuse and was there ever proof? If the child is old enough the child could be questioned; there are more childfriendly and more reliable methods for child questioning these days. Also, once a child has been able to attach to a loving family it is said they keep this good experience and have the power to attach to a new family in a good way. So if the child would be placed in another family the loving care would have made a difference.