How can you tell if your partner is lying to you?

@cryw0lf (1302)
United Kingdom
January 12, 2009 7:10am CST
I dont think i can tell when my partner is lying to me. He has no 'tells' as it's said. Which means i find it very hard to tell if my partner is being faithful and honest. What about you though? Does your partner possibly scratch there head? Do their eyes water? Do they bite their nails? How can you tell when they're lying, or if they're lying?
3 responses
@jenshak (42)
• United States
12 Jan 09
I think that there is a bigger issue here. If you are concerned over whether or not your partner is being faithful and honest you should ask yourself why you are feeling that way. If you have a reason to question his faithfulness and honesty then address it with him. Chances are that if you have a gut feeling there is something wrong then there is. When someone is lying to you, you can feel it. Trust your instincts.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
12 Jan 09
Well something happened that deeply upset me... and hes saying nothing else had been going on sort-of thing... but i dont know if i can trust him seeing as he lied to me for atleast 4 months....
• United States
12 Jan 09
A little over a year ago I went through something with my husband... it was ugly and terrible and devastating and it was almost the end of us. I made the choice to stay and work things out. He apologized, and to this day still feels terrible over the whole thing. Are there time where I still think about it? Yes.. Are there times when I wonder? Yes... But it is more because of the shock of what had happened, not because anything else is happening... While things are never the same after trust is violated... it doesn't mean that it can't be renewed and restored. Unfortunately it means that the person who was wronged, or lied to, has to take a leap of faith and risk trusting that person again. If you can't take the risk, make that leap... it won't matter what your partner does or says because you will forever question him. It isn't easy, I know... it is painful and terrible... but you have to decide if your love is strong enough to take that risk. I wish you the best.
@psspurgeon1 (1110)
• United States
12 Jan 09
I watch for eye contact, pitch of voice, how talkative he is, and whether he defends himself to the extreme or just very vaguely. Eye contact: I watch his eyes and see how much he is actually looking me in the eye and how much he is shifting his eyes away. Even just the slightest bit can indicate a lie or mistruth. Pitch of voice: If he is talking normal or in a slightly higher pitch. Nothing drastic, just a slight change. Talkative: Generally speaking, if he is more talkative, he is trying to get out his story before he forgets. If he is much less talkative, he hasn't yet had time to formulate his story. Defending: If he is lying, he will go overboard to defend himself or just not at all. Now granted these things aren't always telling as he has gotten better over the years and is actually quite the impressive lier so even for me to get it out is a challenge, but I do find that these things I have mentioned are important keys. Most people who are new at reading this or people that are not on the defence alot will sometimes have trouble picking up on the signs of lying. They are not always noticible though like biting nails or some physical manifestation. You have to look for the slightest variation from normal. You have to watch them very closely during a lying conversation to look for the little things you wouldn't ordinarily pay much attention to. I hope for your sake that he is honest cause it is a long, hard battle with emotions to get over something like betrayel and lying.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
12 Jan 09
Heh hey, *forgot your name* not sure you ever told me haha. I do look out for other things --other then physical... But i think hes keeping something from me...
• United States
12 Jan 09
Do you wanna talk about it?
• India
12 Jan 09
well for me, no visible signs are there to catch him except that you know he cannot meet your eyes or something like that. Fortunately, my partner never had to lie to me so far except when he has had to plan a surprise bday party or so. So since his lies have never hurt me, i havent had a issue.. Usually i know he is lying when something he says doesnt add up..