advice on what to do

United States
January 13, 2009 2:03pm CST
i'm having some troubles with my 5 yr old stepson and was wondering if anybody has any advice for me. he has been being very naughty all the time every day. even at preschool. he has "targeted" certain kids and is bullying them and teasing them. destroying stuff at school like the wallpaper and books, wont listen, doesnt things after he is told not to multiple times, is very rude, and he does this at home too. i have tried everything that has already been suggested to me..... time outs, grounding, taking toys and privleges away, i even started a "fake dollar" thing for him to where if he is good he gets a "fake dollar" to earn a privlege such as computer time or a piece of candy and it started off working alright, but today has been the worst day and i dont know what to do anymore. so does anybody have any other suggestions??
1 person likes this
2 responses
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
13 Jan 09
Your step son may have ADDha or another behavioral problem. Maybe you should have him checked. Does he get to see his birth mom very often? How long have you been his step mom? You might look at some food allergies. That can cause a child to act out. He just might not be mature enough to be going to school too. Not all five year olds are ready when they hit the 5 year mark. I know that that would put an extra burden on you but you should look into it.It won't put him behind to go at 6 instead of 5.
• United States
13 Jan 09
i have thought about getting him checked for that, but i dont know where to take him so im going to call my daughters pediatrician to see if he can tell me where to take him for tests. he rarely sees his real mom, she moved back here in may and doesnt even use her visitations. i have raised him since he was 1 yr 10 months, met them in sep 05 and we got married sep 07.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
14 Jan 09
Then you are his mom. I know that sometime visiting a birth parent can cause some real problems. I hope that the pediatrician can help. I also hope it's allergies and not addhd.
@mychattime (1013)
13 Jan 09
There is obviously a reason behind it, have you spoken to preschool about it, does he find it hard there or something. My son is 5 and I've recently started putting buttons in a jar. He started with 10 and if he is naughty one gets taken out and if he is good one gets put in, (within 3 hours of me starting it he was down to 6 buttons!) each button is worth 10pence and every sat morn he counts his buttons and gets the money, that money has to last all week, last night he played me up a lot and I told him the tv would go of early tonight (which it did) and also 2 buttons were removed. Do you spend a lot of time playing with him? I say that because at the weekend when my son is really naughty its usually for attention as he is bored or fed up, the other weekend I was in bed sick and we spent the afternoon playing board games and watching tv together, it was nice, well apart from being sick. Does he spend a lot of time with his dad? My son loves playing games with his dad (not that he does it much) and its nice as they have a chat and he will tell him about school etc. I don't know what else to suggest, like you I've tried time out and the one I do most is tell him Supernanny is coming to stay if he keeps being naughty, I know I shouldn't but he has watched that programme with me and loves it but would hate for her to come here, he will watch it and say 'look they are being naughty' and when I say do you do that he will be honest and say if he has but realises it is wrong. Not sure if I've helped at all but I hope you sort the problem out soon :-)
• United States
13 Jan 09
yes, we spend a lot of time playing with him all day long and he still does this. when i asked him today why he did this, he just whines and says "because of cuddling" because he always wants to cuddle with his daddy, which to him is climbing all over him, and then he said he did it because he just wants to play. i told him acting like that is not going to let him play, it will get him in trouble, and he does not go to school just to play, they are learning things, thats what school is for.
13 Jan 09
Oh dear, the other thing I did over a year ago now was made a chart, it was a reward chart, the rabbit had to get to its carrott, everytime he was good he would move a space up and when he was naughty he would move a space down, this actually worked really well as he understood what was going on and he would watch me move the rabbitt up or down, when he finally reached his carrott he got a little treat from the special cupboard. Have you looked on Suppernanny - Jo Frosts website, that might be able to help you or I when I was having problems with my son not sleeping through the night I joined a discussion website type thing for parents, it was really good but I am sorry I can't remember its name. Good luck, let me know how you get on x