How to handle ex-girlfriend or boyfriends' photos?

@ktosea (2025)
China
January 14, 2009 10:33pm CST
I kept several pieces of my ex-girl friend's pictures and recently my girl fiend found them out,she seems very angry and upset.last time we quarrelled about a scarf my ex-girlfriend left for me,and I give up finally.it seems in her opinion that I can not keep anything of my ex-girl friend,I know the reason is that she loves me much and she thought if I keep her things I might miss her sometimes but really I am not,still I don't know how can I handle the photos?snick them and leave in the trash? How do you guys act if you are in my shoes?I saw that "Chandler kept the pictures and Monica do not get mad at all,they even talked about the girl peacefully"(from the episode FRIENDS),but seems we are a little conservative here and I really don't know what to do with the photos.
4 people like this
29 responses
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
15 Jan 09
Well I guess its but natural that your current GF would also feel jealous because it is a sign that you still cherished her in your memory. I think the best way for it is to really get rid of it if you truly love your GF. But for those sentimental people you may just put them in a box for safe keeping and hopefully your GF would not find out about that again.
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
Ahaha..good point to keep them secretly but I think I may take your first suggestion since I really love my current GF you have a good day
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@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
15 Jan 09
Good for you and your GF would be happy to know that from you.
@neknna (63)
15 Jan 09
I agree! if you really love your current gf..anything that has got to be your ex's should be kept or if possible totally forget it. Past is past.. It really hurt if you still keeping it.
@wfyin82 (159)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 09
ktosea, movie and reality is always not the same. Girls are jealousy creature. Its like jealousy born with them. haha.. So don't ever let your girl know something which will trigger her jealousy. It is normal that we will have our ex-girl friend photo. I will keep the photo and hope my girl friend will understand it. I bet they will keep their ex-boy friends picture also. Maybe you can ask your girl. Happy Mylotting!!!
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
19 Jan 09
as a matter of fact,I think it's reasonable for her to keep her ex-boy friend'sphoto and I can keep the photos,altough the photos do not mean anything,but it's tough for us to reckon with
• Canada
15 Jan 09
Funny that you mentioned the Friends episode. They also had an episode like this on Everybody Loves Raymond. I think men and women keep photos and momentos for different reasons. It's hard to find that the person you love still has keepsakes from past relationships but those relationships helped them evolve into the person they are. I think it's unrealistic for anyone to expect their partner to erase the past. It's also unfair. Relationships end for any number of reasons. Not everyone burns their bridges when a relationship is over. Keeping some photos or gifts seems very normal to me. I think, though, to be respectful in your current relationship, such keepsakes should be stored out of sight... in photo albums or in a keepsake box or something of that nature. I don't think it's right for the "new" girlfriend to have to look at the "old" girlfriend's pictures every day ;)
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
16 Jan 09
Hi thinkingoutloud.I am totally with you.thanks for sharing
• Philippines
15 Jan 09
Well not all girls are alike. I wouldn't want my husband to keep any of her exes pictures as well. I feel what your girl is feeling and It is not to ire you guys but we love the men in our lives so much that we want it to be perfect with no obstacles in the way..just us 2..Hope you understand. Choose which is more important..a picture of an ex or the new person you so love now. Would you want her hurting while you keep those pictures intact? Ask that to yourself and then you'll get your answer...
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
16 Jan 09
I checked all the responses through and seems most people are with you,I also think you are right.the most important thing to me is absolutely my current girl friend and I also don't want anything be on our way.
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Hello ktosea, Ok where do I begin? Well it all started out with my very first b/f who had a lot of pictures of his former g/f's in his dresser drawer. After I saw his pics of his ex g/fs I refused to let anyone take my picture. Hated it so much I only had one picture of my wedding. Even now I do not like my picture out for the world to see. Well to finish what you should do is store them and anything from your ex g/f. It was a previous life but don't throw your life mementos out, put them in storage.It is disrespectful to keep them out for your current g/f to see! BUT it is disrespectful for her to demand you throw away old photos.
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
thanks ds6413,your advise just make sense,I think we have some differences between our own local cultures,I asked some of my friends and they accept that I should give the previous pictures up.I think that's because we are a little conservative here and we just see it in a different way.virtually I think I can stand that my gf keeps his ex-boyfriend's photos,maybe that's because I have seen many western movies and I am more open here haha...
@reichiru (748)
• Canada
16 Jan 09
Well I personally wouldn't throw it away. The only thing I got from my ex-boyfriend was a birthday card, because we didn't really go out for that long anyways, so my current boyfriend isn't really uptight about that. But I think that it would be a waste to throw the photos out, especially if you believe that you had good memories with your ex, even if you have another girlfriend now. If I break up with my current boyfriend, I definitely wouldn't throw out the things that he gave me, because I really cherish my time with him and I hope that even if I do get mad later on that I'll still remember the good times we had. I think it's the thought that counts.
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
16 Jan 09
thanks for the response,I respect your point and you can keep everything your ex-boyfriend gave you as long as your current one do not mind and feel uptight..haha;)
@subha12 (18441)
• India
16 Jan 09
this is sensitive. i guess it must always be kept in a place where the present life partner can't see or destroy./ what is the meaning in carrying the old bagage.
1 person likes this
@millardos (408)
• France
15 Jan 09
my ex-girl friend pictures i send them to her back and also all what she left in my appartement like cloths stuff and i send her even money of the things she paid me for example coffee food or something like that because i keep always the bills :D
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
17 Jan 09
Hi, I used to have some pictures of ex girlfriends and my actual girlfriend make me burn them.. I didn't like it but what should I do? There's nothing to do about it. There is something that can be done? I think that everyone should respect why someone keep those things.
• Australia
15 Jan 09
Sounds like your present GF is not so secure in her relationship with you. That is not the sort of thing that improves with time...quite the contrary, it gets worse. The most likely outcome is that Ms Now is soon going to become Ms Ex. Then you will have no GF and no pictures to remind you of happier times, either!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
15 Jan 09
It depends a lot on your current girl-friend, some girls feel hurt when they find out that their boy friend had kept something sweet from their past relationships. I believe it's perfectly normal for them to feel so and it's a sign that they feel insecured in the current relationship which is something you should notice and try to improve if you really love her. If whatever you are keeping is causing more insecurity and harm to your girl friend, I'd consider throwing them to trash and assure her that you have done so. Perhaps those are a part of your past and you would like to keep it, but I believe if those memories are truly something to you, the memories won't fade away even if you dump the photos. I believe, the present relationship is something we should value more over the past. However, as I've said, the problem is insecurity, not so much of the photos. Try giving her assurance, and never get angry and return fire in any sense when she queries about things like that. You want to secure her, keep that in mind, always. No matter what she may do in rage, you've got to stay cool and remember that she won't be that angry if she didn't love you. Keep that in mind too. It should work out fine. ^^
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
Hi wingsanctuary,thanks for sharing so much with me. you had a good point here.I will keep in mind what you mentioned
• China
15 Jan 09
In fact I have kept my ex-boy friend's pictures in my laptop.So it's fair if my bf kept his ex-gf's too.It just one part of out former life.It doesn't explain anything.I just can feel he really love me now ,what he say and done can make me comfortable.He trust me ,and me too.That's enouht.
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
good to know you think in this way,I am with you that the pictures of ex-..do not mean anything,especially don't stand for that I still have feelings for my ex or something.thanks for your response
@FDBrister (115)
• United States
15 Jan 09
It sounds like your girlfriend has some security issues about your relationship. You may just need to talk to her and reassure her that your affection and attention are for her, not the ex. I still have things my ex-HUSBAND gave me. I still have pictures of my ex as well. My new husband has no problems with that at all... in his eyes, I am with him and the other guy is old news. My husband is exactly right. If he were to be insecure and make a big deal out of stuff like that, we probably wouldn't be married now. I've had boyfriends who had things from their old relationships (pictures, gifts, etc.); those things don't bother me unless I believe they're being held on to as a way of staying connected to the ex. If they're just things kept around because it's an article of clothing or a picture to remind them, I see no problem with that. When it comes to the photos and stuff, only you can truly decide what to do, but here's a question for you. If your relationship with this girlfriend does not last, do you think you would miss having the things you threw out? If so, then it's not worth getting rid of. The important thing is to understand WHY the items bother your girlfriend, then get rid of the issue, not the items.
1 person likes this
@nigenh (167)
• India
15 Jan 09
If you have given up the relationship completely, then why worry, just give al those stuffs to your gf & ask her to do whatever she feels like, atleast this would give her a confidence on you & your headache of what to do with your ex-gf's stuff is also solved
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
15 Jan 09
Hi there! I think your girlfriend is over-reacting. She should be mature enough to handle it seeing your ex-gf's photos or the things she gave you. You're hers now so I think there is nothing to be jealous about. She should trust you enough and being jealous could be a sign of not having full trust in you. I find it bad to throw things exes gave us. Photos and gifts are remembrance of the past and they should still be cherished cause the past has been a part of you. I don't think you have to throw it. Maybe you keep them in a box and seal it. You have to explain to your girlfriend too and keep her convince that you love her and keeping things from ex won't change it. I have all my exes photos and letters kept in a box. From time to time I read it and its nice to remember the fun moments we had. The gifts they gave me I use them. And keeping those things doesn't mean I still have thing for them. Ciao!
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
Hi! I don't have a thing for my exes anymore. I am not also embittered by the fun memories and remembering about it isn't also bad. Past is past to me but that doesn't mean that I have to forcefully forget about my exes. It was just fun memories. Besides, this is how I see it and it's just me. Ciao!
@djemba (767)
• India
15 Jan 09
Well unfortunately it does imply that you still have a thing for them. Because you are too embittered to enjoy those fun memories. You really cant do that!
@sonusd (1547)
• India
15 Jan 09
the same thing happened to me once i got caught by my recent girlfriend that i have kept my ex-girlfriend photo in my table drawer suddenly she gets angry but i tried to cover up the things and after some time she agree that i forogt to throw the photographs and she took that with her self so that i can not see that any more and can not remind my all past time i have spent with her
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jan 09
i would either give your ex her pics back or throw them away. if i found pics of my hubby ex i would be mad
@pujagupta (102)
• India
15 Jan 09
I think the best is not to keep them at all. Why should you need the ex-girlfriend's photos when she no more yours. Even if you want to keep them, keep them in your computer hidden in some corner of some folder. that is the best way out.
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
it's not like that I want to keep them,how can I give them back to the girl when I break up with her,it's too hard you know.maybe destruct all the photos is the best way to handle this
@vikeyshuy (284)
• China
15 Jan 09
if i were you,i would hide those photos in a place where my sweet can't find or destroy them.since you and your ex ended in love,so the photos are just a memory.compared with your current girlfriend,it is nothing!girls are sensitive to this situations.just apologize to your girlfriend and explain to her.if you don't know how to deal with these photos,just ask her.i am sure your girlfriend will be very happy!
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
yes,I know it's nothing but I don't know how to do with the photos when you break up with her.give her back? what if she don't want it back?
• United States
15 Jan 09
I understand your girlfriends point of why she got mad and I'm sure I would of too.. but then I would of reacted and been like wait it that past and memories are memories. I have lasted awhile with my current bf and I know if anything were to happen in the future I would still keep the pictures.. they were taken for a reason and I'm not just going to throw them away. I know it would be kind of disrespectful and all but they are just memories.. :D
@ktosea (2025)
• China
15 Jan 09
I agreen that you do not throw them away if your current BF could stand,but if he insist that you could not keep anything of your ex-bf's stuffs how will you do? I think this will be tough
• United States
15 Jan 09
true it would be tough but yall just have to come to an understanding and let her know what you think and feel... and she should be fine if she is secure about yalls relationship. Im sure if you have a sincere conversation with her things will work out. my current bf when we started dating still had a stuff animal one of his ex's gave him but i was lik watevers because that was then and this is now. Good luck!