will you make friends with selfish people?

China
January 15, 2009 8:42pm CST
as the saying goes,a friend in need is a friend indeed.in our whole life,we meet different people in different satges,such as elemetary school,universities,companies.some of them beome your friends,while some not. i met a girl when i join the company.each time we go out for dinner,she always waits me to pay for her.i really don't like this kind of person.but she often come to my dorm,chatting with me.what should i do?if you are me,will you make friends with her?
2 people like this
12 responses
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
16 Jan 09
I personally wouldn't. You might be willing to overlook this aspect of things now but sooner or later it will get to you. Remember, a character trait is always there and will show up time and time again. Overlooking something is usually fine if it doesn't keep coming back and something in a person's character will always do just that.
• China
19 Jan 09
it is hard for a person to change his or her character.thank you for your response!
• Malta
16 Jan 09
Friendship is all about sharing feelings, thoughts, love, joy, sadness and other special moments. It should be based on a mutual relationship, where both persons give and take. Although you seem to enjoy working with her and being in her company, you may feel used and taken advantage of when it comes to the money issue. Maybe if you confront her on this issue you would have a clearer idea if it is true friendship. She could have been acting this way without being aware of it, or because she may have some financial problems. But if she is doing so for the sole purpose of being selfish and abusing of your genuine friendship, than you will realise this from her reaction when confronting her. You can also check out with other mutual friends or work colleagues if she is behaving the same way with them.
• China
19 Jan 09
sharing is an improtant element in true friendship,not only share the good moments but also the bad ones.thank you for your response!
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Either make friends with selfish people, or do not make any friends. Everyone is selfish to some extent. Obviously there are exceptions, or at least times when people act in a generous, self-giving manner. But even these people will have situations where selfishness is the rule. Open honest communication, even if difficult, is what you need to have with this potential friend. djbtol
• China
19 Jan 09
i think it depends on the extent to which they are selfish.thank you for your response.
@Mamagee (392)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 09
Maybe I still can make friend with her. She can still come and chat with me. I should avoid from going out for dinner or lunch with her. To avoid from going out with her, I' ll buy pack food and have my lunch in my office or bring back pack food for my dinner. I'll tell her that I need to save a lot of money to buy something I like soo much.
• China
16 Jan 09
haha,you are so humour!funny
@rrobinv (150)
• Hong Kong
16 Jan 09
I think I will talk to her and let her knows. I don't mind to make friends with selfish people. But I won't go out with her alone. I will try to find more friends to go out together and the publc may give her pressure to pay for herself. HaPpY MyLoTtInG!
• China
16 Jan 09
that's a good idea!with more people going out together, she must want to save her face and won't let me pay for her.haha
@ladybug565 (2217)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I would just tell her you cant afford to go out right now because things are tight, maybee she will offer to pay. I have a couple of friends who are quite selfish. I usually dont mind but if I dont have the extra I just dont go.
• China
16 Jan 09
i have never tried to lie to her.i want to be honest. that is why what she does makes me feel sad.
• Brazil
17 Jan 09
Really I also donĀ“t like this kind of people. I would be just a collegue of her not a friend. I like to have friendly and kind people as friends. People that like to share things and are there not only on the good moments but also on the bad ones. I use to be there for all of my friends. But when I am in need none appear most of the time. People are very selfish lately. Pitty!!!
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
I once heard a sermon telling that we shoud choose our friends. We should avoid people who are bad influence to become our friends. That, for me, includes selfish ones. They don't deserve our friendship. For they will not value it.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
16 Jan 09
i think i would avoid her like the plague. anyone that is self serving and doesnt give a whit about anyone else, i wouldnt waste my time. i do have an aunt like that who thought she was a princess, but she is quite elderly. i honestly think there is no excuse to act like that.
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
16 Jan 09
hello vikeyshuy! I would still talk to her and make friends with her, but there is a boundaries between us. I hate those kind of people who just wantto make friends with me because I can afford to pay for her. I admit my friends treat me out too, but if I have my money, I would take them out too.
@sara007 (134)
• China
16 Jan 09
no,i hate such people.they do not care about others,why do we make friends with them??
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Sure, why not? I've done that before. But, it depends on their level of selfishness. Such as, I had this great girlfriend I thought would be my everything that I wanted in such a friend. She was bright, beautiful, bubbly and fun to be around with. But, did she have issues and problems. Like everything, I listed to her and was there for her. When it was my turn to have my issues, I cried to her, expecting the same treatment. What did I get? The brief ear and then the brush off. After that, I no longer deal with people like that. My relationships are two way streets: I'll be there for you, but I'll need you sometime in the future as well. *Pleiades