Can you give me some suggestions?

China
January 16, 2009 10:20pm CST
My boyfriend is a man who loves drinking,smoking,fighting,speaking dirty words~ Some friends said he is not fit me .Because I am a simplex girl,and I just want to have a simple life.He always makes me worry about him.But I know I love him,and he loves me.And we have a problem,we can't meet often,he is a constabulary school student and I am a college school student.What should I do?
3 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
leave him now, darling. there is somebody else who fits you so much better. you may feel that it is difficult and heart rending to break up with him now. but, talking from experience, it will be all the more breaking and hurting if you realize after marriage, that you got the wrong guy. it if foolish of one to be thinking and believing that a guy will mend his ways because of love. he might be able to show you that he has changed, after all it will only be for a show when you are together. once you are married, everything comes up sundry. i am sharing with you friend, my personal experience per se. my husband and i have split up a long time ago but informally. from time to time we meet and talk. once i visited him in his house here in manila. and the shock of my life struck me so much. he has never changed for the better. he has in fact been living in with another woman. i left him alright. and all the three children of ours are on my side. after having caught him twice making love to that woman, there is no way at all that he can deny their relationship to me. my ex husband is very much like your boyfriend of today when we were still boyfriends. do not allow yourself to fall victim just as i did.
3 people like this
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
i would like to give you an add-on. what comes out of the mouth flows from the heart.
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
Well said, I agree with trinidadvelasco. So girl, think of yourself. Put yourself first. Don't you think you deserve better?
1 person likes this
• China
17 Jan 09
Thanks for your suggestions.I will think about it seriously.I'm sorry to hear your story,you're decisive.I know I'm too young,so I need others' suggestions.
1 person likes this
@luck4me (51)
• India
17 Jan 09
first i want to tell u...its not a very big prob so u should not be dipressed..u have to know that..u love him ...but does he realy loves u.???if yas then u have to change him by ur love..only love is the thing that change the life style of your's lover.
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
hello, luck4me. before i am among those women who wishfully thinks that love can truly change a person from within. the problem is, people who have these attitudes, these habits and these vices which are all in the negative side, have only themselves to love. these are the types of individuals who will exploit others to feed their ego. it is not wise to trust that a person will change drastically in the name of love for a woman. this is not so in the long run.
@rymebristol (1788)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
[i]it's not a complicated situation you are into. you said you loved him right?being in-loved means that everything in that person,the good and the bad side of his personality..you love. relationship doesn't mean that the presence of each other is there, as long as you're being faithful and loyal to him that's alright. try talking things out, maybe it could help the both of you a lot. GOOD LUCK to you![/i]
1 person likes this
• China
17 Jan 09
Thanks for your comments! It seems to be funny to ask the question,right? "you're too young~" Everyone thinks so...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
being in-love doesn't follow if your too young or not,remember that.everyone love for a reason.and being in love means that your a human being hahaha CHEERS!
1 person likes this
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
If I were you, i'd leave him.. you deserve someone better..Don't rush things.. you're young and you have a long way to go.. and you know what? sooner or later, you'd get fed up with his annoying actions so as early as now, end the relationship and move on.. hey, it's only my personal opinion. Don't get me wrong.. just think a thousand times before making your final decision.. good luck =)
@nigenh (167)
• India
17 Jan 09
make sure he loves u whole heartedly.....if he is then go ahead & change him. I'm sure u can change him with ur true love, before doing all these just make sure whether he deserves u & all these.
1 person likes this
• Canada
17 Jan 09
YOU,YOU,YOU that's who important!ask youself,are you happy?because that's what really matter.I'm 31 years old and i've made lots of stupid decision because i was in love and trust me you learn from those mistake and one thing i learn is....love doesn't change anybody,peoples change when they are ready not because you ask them to!Good luck and think of your happyness.
1 person likes this
@chiaeugene (2226)
• China
17 Jan 09
wow, at first i thought you are in your 20s and this is bothering you and when i read down further, i almost laugh. Life is still so long ahead and you are young. Dun tied yourself down with someone so early and think that he is the one for you. You deserve a better man if you open your eyes wide enough and socialised more often. From what you described your boyfriend, i would suggest you stay away from him cos he is already practicing all the vices at such an early age and it can only get worse and dun get yourself into some pain where it would hurt you permanently.
1 person likes this
• Japan
18 Jan 09
If you love him then you accept him with all of his faults. If you try to change him to fit your image of wwhat you think he should be you will fail. Change can only be made if a person wants to change.
@maryannemax (12173)
• Sweden
18 Jan 09
when it comes to relationships, partners should always be open to differences and talk about it. if you really love each other, both of you are willing to meet halfway. i hope that your boyfriend will minimize his habits and find a way to see you more. anyway, if you really love him, talk to him about the things that bother you. be open to him. that's important.
17 Jan 09
you should have a talk with him and make him realize how you feel for him
• United States
17 Jan 09
That is hard to decide, I would say be honest how it is effecting your relationship. See what his response is. They say honesty is the best policy. I did that with my boyfriend, and now he doesn't drink hardly at all. If he truely values you he will slow down and make you happy! Good luck!!