Should you be jealous ?

@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
January 18, 2009 9:44am CST
You are walking down the street hand in hand with your woman ,listening to the birds and the bees ,enjoying the sunshine and bam it happens ,your woman is snatched from you. You turn around to look for her and you even get a little worried ,only to find her in the arm of the biggest dude you have ever seen. Those hands would even make hulk think twice about having one of his anger fit. Yet he is hugging her and she doesn’t seem to mind so should I care if he is crushing her ,she doesn’t mind He is probably hugging her so close there is no space between them which means that breasts are pressed up against his chest and they do that for about four minutes. All the time he is looking at you with that expression ,”so what you want to do something about it ,just try”. Then she manages to disentangle slowly probably looking still looking in each other eyes somewhat dazed .Then she says oh by the way and she introduces you as if by a last minute consideration. The truth be told this has never happened to me but I happened to be in a bus listening to a conversation that a young woman was having on the phone to a guy that goes something like this “He (meaning her boyfriend ) is so stupid ,I haven’t seen you in a while ,what is wrong if I hug you and squeeze you ,even wine on you ,he was lucky I didn’t plant a wet one right on your jaw”. Apparently her boyfriend walked away during the incident . So what would you have done, should you wait around to be introduced or walk away. Should you be jealous or would you accept that this is just a long last friend that she is happy to see? Would you seem petty to probe the issue any further?
6 people like this
15 responses
@BlueGoblin (1829)
• United States
18 Jan 09
Jealously usually leads to violence because men can't control their anger. I would walk away before I ripped the phone out of her hands and beat her with it. I think it's a good idea to control your emotions in such situations. You never know what dark place your mind will go.
2 people like this
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
18 Jan 09
Well if you are gonna be violent then its best you walk away
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Jan 09
right, bluegoblin. it is not wise to be enveloped by jealousy in a rampage. it is best to think things over and consider studying the situation first, then size it all up. it always pays to listen first and take note of the details of the incident. then observe the girlfriend of her final reaction to the encounter. did she enjoy it? she might not have wanted anything like that to happen at all.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
19 Jan 09
jealous no, but if someone did that to my wife, my first thing would be what the hell?? i wouldn't care how big he was, but i be like excuse me, i am her husband and i don't mind going back to jail for another assult charge. i guess i am kind stuipd like that, size never matter to me at all. and being jelaous isn't in my book. if she is enjoying it and then it's like oh well. i would most likey tell her well i guess you and this big ape are done meet me at home with her kids, oh yeah grand kids too.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 09
me and my wife are very secure with each other, and i often give females friends hugs when i see them. only a few a kiss on the cheek. i do this in front of my wife and she knows all of them and they are friends as well. but you gave me an idea of new topic
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
19 Jan 09
And if you did that it would serve them both for being so inconsiderate of your feelings and I hope that scares the dickens out of him
@shonali (1286)
• India
18 Jan 09
well that is one good conversation you managed to keep your ears open for.... very interesting.... i will first think from the girls point of view..... if i was the girl and one of my friends happened to do that with me....(first of all none of my friends would dare to get that close with me) but anyways if that did happen to me then i would give him a slight hug.... not sqeezy thingee..... and let go immediately..... whether my boyfriend is around or not........... thats how it would go with me... i mean come on.... you have to admit that you are in love and the same way you wouldnt want to see your boyfriend hugging and sqeezing another girl in front of you he would want the same from you..... so whats the big deal in keeping the physical aspect of friendliness a bit down? if i was the guy and my girl would have done something like that i would have immediately butted in the hug (very cheerfully) mind you..... and very cleverly pulled my girlfriend aside and asked for the guys introduction.... given him a brief hi and hellop and invite him over for a cup of coffee someday with the two of us to get to know him a bit better and move along mentioning that we were getting late so we got to be going...... if at that time my gf would have butted in and told me that there was no hurry and stuff like that then i would leave her with the guy she wants to be at that time and move away from there.... if she decides to come along with me then i know that she really loves me..... aint fooling around..... for sure...... but then i would very gently and politely ask her to keep her physical boundries a bit closed when it came to her guy friends..... and i would tell her the truth that it would burn a hole in my heart to see her hug another guy.... if she truly loves me she would take it as a compliment rather than get angry...... !! what say?
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
18 Jan 09
I agree with you there ar boundaries and the usual principles applies ,do unto other as you would have them do to you.There are hugs and tehn there hugs ,I suppose it depends on how secure you are around your woman
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
19 Jan 09
I will be jealous. No matter she is doing on purpose or just to tease me. I just can't be normal on such incident. I hope my gf or spouse would understand the situation as I won't do it to any girl in front of her or on her back. I will be more than jealous on my wife hugging tight to someone I don't know! Why shouldn't I?
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
19 Jan 09
I would be jealous too at least that is my first emotion ,maybe later I would accept rationale .
@suzzy3 (8342)
18 Jan 09
I quite often bump into old friends and I hug everyone and my husband is quite used to it happening,I would never hug an old lover as that would be wrong.He always say its the ones I don't hug he worries about,so if I hug them he is quite releaved,I always introduce them and he shakes their hands and says hello,then i give him the history of where and when I met them or worked with them and he is ok,he knows it is him I cuddle the most so he seems alright about it.I think if you are happy and secure in your relationship it should not upset anyone.Ayounger man might get jealous but at our ages we are past all that,if we were going to leave for another partner we would have done it years ago not now,he needs someone to do his washing and cooking and I need someone to do the decorating ,and like my husband says it would take to long to train another woman like he has me and I feel the same about him,having to whip another man into shape is just fare to much work for me.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
18 Jan 09
A very good answer.Interesting philosophy about not hugging a lover .I like the way you hadle this situation for a number of reasons 1, you dont hug exlovers 2,you introduce whoever it si to your husband ,so that removes any sense of impropriety 3,you keep the hug within the confines of propriety 4,you are bothe secure ,that is the most important of all because once you are secure ,you wont get easily perturbed by these situation
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8342)
19 Jan 09
It is a safe place we are in and it is good for both of us.x
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
19 Jan 09
Well I'm a chick and I think that if I was a guy I would be jealous. I would never do something like that especially if the guy I was currently seeing was standing there. I certainly wouldn't just introduce him as a last minute thing either. I think this girl was being inconsiderate of her guys feelings and I think he had every right to walk away.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
19 Jan 09
I totally agree with you about her being inconsiderate
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I would definitely be jealous. It would be considerate of the lady to introduce them immediately and not just leave him standing there wondering what is going on. Just out of respect I wouldn't do this to my husband (or boyfriend). I would have to consider how I would feel if the role was reversed.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
18 Jan 09
well if you trust her then she can handle what ever she encounter jealousy is a rottening to the bone.you don,t need anyone you can,t trust.no one can watch a person 24 seven.if she don,t seem to mind then maybe your relationshionship isn,t as close as you think it it.fighting never solves anything.
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
I think I will be jealous. I'm a girl so I have to bend the story in my imagination a little cause it will be funny to see my boyfriend with the biggest dude or girl that I have ever seen ... just kidding ... Just try to be calm and not to act stupid, I will listen to his explanation first and see how truthful he will be.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
19 Jan 09
Obviously there is more between the gal and the big bruiser that she ended up on the arm of. I wouldn't waste my time being jealous...it doesn't do any good in any situation. It's just a useless emotion that won't solve any problems. If she is that enamored of the other dude, I would let her go, because of the simple fact that she obviously has NO feeling for me and the way I would feel. She and the other dude aren't worth being jealous of, and they more than likely belong together. She was rude and crude. I wouldn't dream of leaving my BF in the dust and going off with another man. I have introduced him to many of my friends, male and female. If there was someone else I would have the respect to explain the situation and end our relationship, especially if I felt that he was "SO STUPID". There is no respect on the woman's part, both because she left the man she was with to go to another guy, and second she is babbling that her boyfriend is so stupid. He must be because he selected her! She deserves to be dumped by the first man!!!
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
Hi ronnyb! Oh that sure can ignite a lovers' quarrel! haha..Knowing my husband well, i don't think he will show any sign of jealousy that very moment. He will stare at the guy with another type of smirk that seems to say, "hug her all you want but she's MINE, and MINE alone!" haha..And as soon as we get home, he will tease me endlessly until I could see the hurt that he felt at that moment for taking him for granted or behaving that way..Then, I will tease him that he is just jealous and he will deny it and then we will just end up making fun of the other guy and laughing at the guy's behavior and then I will swear to my husband that he is the only one for me! haha (except if it was George Clooney who snatched me from him) haha..Now, I took your story and made it mine. haha.. Take care and have a nice day! lovelots..faith210
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
19 Jan 09
If my guy did that, I would just assume it was an old friend or cousin that he hadn't seen in a long while. I would not get jealous at all and just wait until I got introduced. Cheaters are not as a rule so open as that. I really can't imagine getting worked up over something like that.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
For a guy probably he is getting jealous terribly. In this case i was a lady and if that was happened to my boy i feel angry and jealous also. most of partners have instict espercially if they have enough close relationship. And for me I won't allow it to happened again in front of my two eyes because it will sure result of break up of our relationship.
@denise002 (444)
• Australia
19 Jan 09
k well im goin to start by saying im new to mylot and ur the first person i have found who is genuinly a good writer. but anyway about ur discussion. yes i would naturally get jealous about that. seeing ur partner having clear sparks with someone else is hurtful and feels somewhat threatening to ur relationship. buttt if i spoke to them about it and it was nothing id learn to brush it off like dandruff
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
18 Jan 09
whether i should be or not is beside the question, i would have have not been a happy camper.