What should she do?

@agrant10 (1446)
United States
January 18, 2009 7:33pm CST
I have a co-worker who is a single mom. She has an eleven year old daughter who has a Bebo page. She said she thought it would be ok for her daughter to have the page since she communicates with her school friends. However she found out that her daughter met a 16 year old boy on Bebo and they exchanged phone numbers. Not sure if her daughter communicated with him on the phone or not? How do you think she should handle this. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
3 people like this
5 responses
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
19 Jan 09
Sometimes when we block children from doing something they want or already doing we can drive them into being secretive and devious in hiding their secrets. They did not see anything wrong in making friends, so they become creative in hiding a continued relationship. The account can be deleted but can the phone number be deleted from her daughter's memory? I have children of varying ages, os which 5 are females. The younger ones are at the ages of 8, 11, and 15. We have Internet access at home. I never stopped them from joining several social sites. Before that I had a talk with them about the good points of the Internet and the dangers lurking to leap onto unsuspecting users. After more than 3 months they have accepted only girls as friends. In my opinion deleting the account may make her daughter rebellious. Ask her to have a talk with her daughter about this issue. Prepare her to defend herself against the bad elements on the Internet. Her daughter is at an age of wanting to have some freedom. She may appreciate the coaching and trust given to her, and loves her mother even more. all the best, rosdimy
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 Jan 09
Her mom has spoken to her about the internet dangers and about chat rooms.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
I guess you are right in there. I see her mom overreacting to it and it is not helping her daughter to be open to her more and may go underground if she continues to be so.
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
19 Jan 09
I have noticed that too many "don't do this, don't do that" can turn children off. As parents we need to guide them, and let them think they thought of the idea themselves. For example the child should be asked what should be done when a male wants to be her friend instead of telling her not to accept the request. This is what I meant by teaching the child to defend herself, while allowing her to be independent.
@callarse1 (4793)
• United States
19 Jan 09
Yea she should make her daughter delete the profile. She shouldn't have started the profile to begin with so it may be hard to have her delete the profile. I thought in Bebo the person had to be at least 16 years old?! Hopefully they can delete the profile---has she talked to the boy? What does the mom think? Cheers! Pablo
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I do not know how old you have to be.If it is 16 I guess she used a fake birthdate. Her mom have not stated that she has spoken with the boy.
@Tiherina (83)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I'm not a mom, but I can try anyway. An eleven year old is too young to be talking to a sixteen year old boy and swapping phone numbers with him. An eleven year old is too young to be online unsupervised. Your co-worker should probably have the daughter delete the Bebo account, or at least make her own account to keep a closer eye on her daughter, and also make her delete the boy's number. But like I said, I'm not a mom, so I could be reading too much into it.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 Jan 09
No, I do not think that you are reading too much into it. I told her that she need to be careful and that she should delete the account
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
26 Jan 09
The first thing that came to mind after reading this is that, a 16 year old boy is already an adolescent and some hormones are raging in ways that can sometimes be out of hand. I wish your friend's has given advices to her girl.
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
19 Jan 09
get her butte off there & then have her head examined for lettinh her get on there to start with. duh!!!