i turned 50 and will never be a granny!

South Africa
January 19, 2009 6:52am CST
I just love children but due to the fact that I am taking warfarin since my twenties the docters warns me against pregnancy. I am taking the warfarin because of a shortage of Protein S in my body. Now that I have turned 50 I realize that I will never hold my grand children - my life feel so empty when I watch my brothers & sisters children around them. I think it is worst around christmas time. I wonder if people realize the pain a woman goes through if she cannot have kids. When I see babies I get this deep feeling of sadness & somehow I feel I am not a complete woman because I never experienced the 'fruit of my body". If God spare me & my hubby we will grow old together - lonely without children or grandchildren to give unconditional love & hugs.
4 people like this
9 responses
• United States
19 Jan 09
Its a sad thing, that you dont have child. But you can have one by adopting one. There are many childrens around, in this world who are without the warmth of the parent. You can surely become their parent. I believe in "Lord Krishna" and his preechings in "GITA". The god says we should always believe in good things and always think positive. Positive thinking makes our life with zero frustration and zero bad-feelings and a great peace of mind. To my suggestion clebrate your next X'MAS with the childrens in the orphanage and not with your family. And always thank god for giving the great oppurtunity of spreading love to the people in need. Take Care and have a great life ahead.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 09
And one more thing I saw your photos, I would like to say i am pure vegeterian. HaHaHa
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
19 Jan 09
Congratulations on a milestone birthday and many more to come. I am sorry you could not have children of your own. You missed out on a lot of positive experiences but also on a lot of hurt and frustration to raise children to become healthy caring decent human beings. You need not to despair. There are many roles you can fulfill as a beloved aunt to your nieces and nephews and eventually their children. You could also sponsor a foster child and follow his/her development for years to come. I would like to relate this from my own experience. I am now 69 years old and I do have a son and a little granddaughter. However, when I was young I had a very favourite aunt, and she still is. She is my father's youngest sister and the only one in a large family not to have children. She was a role model to me, my sister and many of my cousins, she demanded that we aspire to get a higher education and be self sufficient in life. I still remember occasions when she took me to fine restaurants and let me feel comfortable in those suroundings. She bought me presents that my parents could not afford. She was also not so much older than I, only about 15 years older. Now she is in her 80ties and just moved to an assisted living facility. She is still beloved by her nieces and nephews, and some come to see her on a regular basis. She is not lonely. The next generation is following suit. She is my son's beloved great aunt. When he got married he brought his wife to meet her. When they had their first child he brought the baby to her. So all this to say, your life need not to be empty. You may be able to hold many babies if you want to. To experience the fruit of your body does not have to be life's most important event in a woman's life. You can contribute in so many ways. Best of luck to you.
• South Africa
20 Jan 09
Thankyou for your kind words - your comment meant a lot to me. Sorry that my english is so bad but I am afrikaans speaking but are trying my best to better my english. Yes, I also had a very dear aunt but she past away recently. My 2 brothers & 1 sister are both staying in other provinces in africa. I am lucky to stay in the beautiful Cape Town. The family only see each other over christmas time. I am also blessed to still have my parents - although they are very old I phone them everyday & my dear mom always say that it is the highlight of their day!! The live with my sister about 800km from us so I dont see them often. My dad suffers from alzheimers but he is in the first stages where he just forget things. I love them so much & just pray that God will save them for many more years. My animals are also very near to my heart - 1 golden retriever; 1 labrodor; 1 malteser & an african grey. So we are stil blessed by many other things but I just adore children & nothing will still the pain in my heart for not having one of my own. Thanks again for your nice comment - it did my heart good to read it! Best of luck for you & your family too!
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 Jan 09
There is still hope. There is some little boy or girl out there that is longing for your touch and your love. Its sounds like the both of you have so much to offer.
1 person likes this
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I'm sorry to hear this. However, there are other options to have children in your life. Adoption is one albeit at this time in your life probably too late. Fostering, mentoring. In many ways kids can be in your life and you can even adopt grandchildren. Our neighbor did that with ours. Our kids' grandparents are hundreds of miles away. Naturally they don't get to see them very often. Our neighbor stepped in and spoils them and takes care of them just like a real grandma. She loves kids and just adores ours. We are happy to they have a 'grandma' and 'grandpa' figure in their lives. Yes, I know it's not totally the same but close. Look out there, there is plenty of kids who need some TLC.
1 person likes this
@Krissta (90)
• Canada
19 Jan 09
I am deeply sorry. I dont quite know what I should reply. i dont want to say anything that could make things feel worse for you. The only thing I can maybe suggest is Be the best person you can be, and live for the next day, instead of the last. I understand the hurt and pain you have, but understand you are a complete woman. If you would like to talk more, just pm me
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
20 Jan 09
Raising children is HARD and there are no guarantees of success and living happily ever after. You will hear grandparents say..."the best part of being a grandparent is being able to hand the children back". Honestly, having children isn't 100% joyous. Just enjoy the kids in your family as much as you can and thank God they are healthy and happy. You have so very much to be grateful for and positive about.
@mareem (147)
• United States
20 Jan 09
I'm 53 and I don't have any children to give me grandchildren, either. My husband and son were killed during the Bush War in Rhodesia, in 1976. I never remarried or had any other children. I happen to love children, though, and I used to volunteer at a children's shelter (the only reason I no longer do this is because I moved to a very rural area and there are no local children's shelters). Several times I took children out for their birthdays and various holidays. Children in government institutions need people who have love and time to give, so this may be something you may want to look into.
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
20 Jan 09
onderdanig, I have had an experience somewhat like yours, but the problems were my husband's. After 10 years of a childless marriage, we chose to adopt. But that doesn't mean our daughter will have children. She has her own medical concerns and she is grown now. I know the pain you must feel. It is a real pain and one felt by many, but not really understood by those who have been fortunate enough to be pregnant and give birth. You are having these painful feelings, and they are normal, but it doesn't make it easy. We need to find ways to nuture thoe who need us, as we look for purpose on earth, outside of procreative purpose. But I have asked God to help make up for that loss in my life, and He has brought a measure of comfort.
@bellaofchaos (11550)
• United States
20 Jan 09
I'm sorry for what you are going through. But I will tell you that even though you may not bear the children yourself there are many children out there that would love to have a family or parent that wants them. Have you ever thought of adopting or just being a foster parent. To give love to those who need it and don't have it. Never ever say your are not complete because of some thing because you are. If you don't like those ideas maybe just being more in your siblings childrends lives will help you. take care and good luck..