How to deal with gossip monger?

@ahgong (10066)
Singapore
January 21, 2009 9:21am CST
Gossipers People who gossip are people who are subjects of gossips as well. Don't for a moment think that gossipers are your best friend cos they tell you the nitty gritty news of other people. If he can gossip about other people, you can bet that he will gossip about you behind your back! How to deal with them? When you meet with such a person, the best way is to avoid them! You must NEVER ever offend such people. And you must never ever be too honest with these people as well. No such thing as "I never like to discuss such stuff as...". The best way is to talk nonsense with them as well. Of course, you have to be tactful in how you spin your stories to these gossipers. For it may back fire on you if you cross one. Cos the nasty rumors they can spread about you is really not worth it. Try to change the topic of discussion to avoid their gossips. Talk about the documentary you saw on the tube last night. Or about the nasty meal you had earlier. Anything would be good. Try to avoid gossiping with the fella.
5 people like this
8 responses
@rjbass (1425)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I have to say that gossip is one of my hugest pet peeves. I never lend any validity to the conversation and surely don't contribute to them. I like facts that can be validated.
2 people like this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
21 Jan 09
Yeah, cold hard facts are the best. But there are also times when news and information can only be gotten from gossips. And gossipers are like the one of the best information source sometimes. Better than the official channel.
1 person likes this
@rjbass (1425)
• United States
24 Jan 09
I agree. Sometimes some valid info comes from gossip but becasue most of the time, all it is are fruitless facts, I don't know whether or not what's being said is true or false so I tend to just ignore it all . These are just my thoughts
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
30 Jan 09
Well, if the news is coming from a known gossiper, then all you gotta do is take that information with a pinch of salt. There must be some truth to it some how. Other wise, the gossiper will not be talking about it.
@mlw32785 (133)
• United States
21 Jan 09
i think this was excellent advice. I stay away from all people like this they can never be a good friend. You can have the occassional nice chat but that's all i expect from them.
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
21 Jan 09
Well, sometimes gossipers are some of the best source of information. And yes, sometimes, they can be great conversationalists as well. Whether they are good friends or not will really depend on the person itself. Not all of them are bad.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Gossips can start from anywhere, anytime, anyplace and to anybody.. lol =D Even if we were to avoid those gossipers and they managed to see us outside on the streets one day, they are surely bound to start something too as to why we are always busy or shunning from them, because of what they have just seen.. lol =D So, it's almost pratically impossible and it's also due to they will never admit that it's due to themselves that ple are avoiding them, and that's what makes the whole thing worst.. lol =D ANd the best way is to, never share anything with them, and never gossip along with them.. haha ^_^
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Yeah, some times it is impossible to avoid a gossiper. This is especially so if the gossiper is a relative. Or worst, some one you have to work with in the team. So avoiding gossiping with them would be an effective way. Don't provide them with fodder to gossip about and they may leave you well alone. The other way is to avoid them as far as possible.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Actually not really.. When it comes to gossipers, we should take them on straight in their face.. WHatever they gossip, start the same thing on them.. lol =D Let the relationship turn sour, and expose everything on the spot.. ANyway, gossips cant be trusted entirely, but the gossipers repuation will be severely affected.. lol =D
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Interesting. Your method is worth exploring. Have you ever done it successfully to a gossiper?
1 person likes this
@eagle_f15 (2054)
• Malaysia
23 Jan 09
When I encounter such people which is less now but a lot in the organization which I worked at previously, I would just say something positive back. Normally it would be a negative gossip about someone and if I happen to be in the conversation, I would say something positive back and then tell the person I gotta go. And then get out of the conversation.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
30 Jan 09
Avoiding them is also a good strategy.
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
22 Jan 09
oouuw you are right, if we make friend with gossiper people soon or later they will make a gosip about us .. well my suggestion is try avoid gossiping other people with them, and don't talk to much with them, it is okay to make friend with everybody, but avoid to gossip other so they won't talk bad things about us or less ...
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Yeah, avoiding the gossip in the first place is the best solution. And by not gossiping together with the gossiper, it will not encourage them to gossip too much with you. Encouraging them will only make the situation worse. If they can gossip about someone else with you today, what is to say they will not gossip about you to another person another day? True! True! True!
• United States
22 Jan 09
yep your right.. i have had this happen to me and so i just try to either not give them anything to gossip about or not care.. sometimes it works sometimes not
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Well, they can gossip all they want as long as we have a clear concious. Right my friend? We will take the situation as it comes. No point fretting too much about it eh?
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
22 Jan 09
Good post. As human we cannot avoid gossips finding its way in our everyday life. It create an interest in a conversation if you spice it with some gossip here and there. But we should always make it a healthy gossip and not one that humiliate others. I believe people who always starts gossips will one day find herself lonely without friends cos others are scared of being in the company of a gossiper.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
You do have a point there. There is rarely any conversation that is interesting if you do not spice it up with some gossip here and there. It is what you gossip about that makes the difference. Gossiping about something that is targeted at demeaning and humiliating others is a no no. True true true!
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I don't participate when somebody starts gossiping. If the person's gossiping about somebody else, then they will spread false gossip about you too. I think gossip is one of the most destructive thing to people. And not only is it hurtful to the people being gossiped about, but also the person who gossips...for they will be known as a gossip who just likes to stir up trouble. In my town, I pretty much know who gossips, and if I run into them, I'm usually 'in a hurry' or whatever, and I won't stand there and listen. Once I said to one of them 'I don't listen to gossip, nor do I spread it', and then I became gossiped about as being snooty lol. I think it's easier to just avoid them, and if I can't, I will change the subject to something on a more cheery note (like asking them how their kids are, or stuff like that.) Gossip reminds me of the old game 'telephone line.' One person says something, then passes it along to the next, and so on, and by the end of the game, the original piece of information is not remotely how it started out...it has been changed, added too, exaggerated, etc. The same thing holds true with gossip, it is always made into a more 'sensational' type story, and it's never ever a nice thing to do. I believe in the 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you', so I won't participate in gossip.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10066)
• Singapore
22 Jan 09
It is good that you hold on to the principle of not gossiping. I am sure there are people out there who will gossip about this principle of yours. Sad to say these people have no idea what they are gossiping about. Let them be. The mouth is theirs to own. No way for you to stop them from saying what they want. As long as you do not participate, it is fine. Keep it up my friend!