Coping with being a single parent

@Raven1 (577)
Australia
January 22, 2009 8:03am CST
I have one gorgeous, talented, bright 4 year old daughter and I'm very proud of everything she does. But sometimes I find it so hard to do this all on my own. I work full time as a freelance writer, working from home so I can be around her as much as possible. I just think it's so difficult somee days to stay focused when she needs me so much but I need to be working to make the payments on our home so we have somewhere to live. How does everyone else cope with being a single parent?
3 people like this
13 responses
@silverjam (969)
• United States
22 Jan 09
First I commend your courage to endure as a single parent not everybody in your stand can do as you did as it's quite hard being one. I have known some friends who are also standing as single parents and they were saying it's a mixture of sad and happy feleings. Sad for the fact that they are doing both the parents's role of a mom and dad for their kids. Sad seeing their kids fatherless and sometimes had a hard time explaining and answering their queries. Financial constraints is also an issue being a single parent. However, they said they are happy seeing their kids growing and spending more time w/ them.
1 person likes this
@Raven1 (577)
• Australia
23 Jan 09
I don't have financial constraints, but I do sstruggle to keep going some days when I'm tired and I've got so much work and I just want to be sure my daughter is happy and healthy. I do sometimes worry about the lack of a male role model in her life, but she seems very well adjusted (so far)...
• United States
22 Jan 09
Boy oh boy can I ever relate to this issue. I was raising a two and four year old when I became a single parent. It was a struggle, that's for sure! I had to put them into a daycare just to complete my work and I felt SO guilty for doing that. I, too, am a freelance writer. I found that by putting them into daycare for twelve hours per week, I could make up the remaing work hours while they were sleeping or visiting with their father. I was far less exhausted, and I felt like my work was better quality.
@Raven1 (577)
• Australia
23 Jan 09
My mom takes my daughter one day a week and she's in kinder for one day a week. She visits her father every second weekend. I get SOOOO much writing done on those days that it's worth it, even though I miss her like crazy.
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
Hi Raven, I may not be a single parent and may not know exactly how you feel about being one. BUt one thing I'm sure - you must be a brave and strong person to go through parenthood alone. Like you, I'm staying home to look after my daughter and trying to find freelance writing assignments to supplement our income. So I have added you as a friend here in mylot. i hope you accept. I'm now checking your blog. It looks cool. I hope that we can provide support to each other as parents to our children.
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
I'd been a single parent for almost 17 years. I was widowed when my youngest was 7 year old. My eldest was 12 and the next was 10. Although my children were quite older and I have my mother taking care of them while am away still the absence of the head of the family was very much felt. Your lucky you're financially doing well and you have only one daughter with you. Me, I had to work to raise the three children until their college education. I was in real estate then had to leave early in the morning and go home late in the evening. Good you're working at home at least you can see her and attend to her needs whenever needed. Still you have a long way to go but single parents are being blessed. My children are quite stable with their jobs now and I have one grandbaby, they don't want me to go back to work as we are just experiencing the bonding and the happiness of being together and the making up for the precious times we missed before. You'll gonna make it just have faith and blessings will just be around.
@sammyo (21)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I can understand what you are going throw. I have three kids and been a single parent for most of thier lives. Lot of times if it was not for my family, I would gone crazy. My youngs is a special needs kids. So he needs even more of my time then the older ones do. How do i cope with that. I fine my self taking time for myself. After the kids are in bed, I would get in the bath tub at night. I found out that help me dealing with the every day problems that comes with rising kids by yourself.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
Raven1, I share your experiences. I've been a single mom since I was pregnant! My son will be seven later this year. There is no right or wrong answer. Being a parent is hard but when there's only one person to carry the burden of both sides, it's extremely overwhelming. I love my son more than words can express yet there are times when I want to be able to take a shower uninterrupted! Or heaven forbid, watch a 2 hour movie without having to fix this, play that or hearing "I'm thirsty Mommy!" LOL I had my son in daycare for a while which definitely helped. And before long, it was time for him to start pre-school then kindergarten. Time flies, please know it will get easier. (((hugs)))
1 person likes this
@Raven1 (577)
• Australia
23 Jan 09
I understand exactly what you mean! It's tiring and hard and never-ending - but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Thank you for responding. I appreciate your understanding. :)
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
i was a single parent for about 6 months when my hubby and i were seperated and i found being a single parent exhausting. heck, just being a parent is exhausting sometimes but when you are a single parent, you are it! hats off to you!
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
There are times where I act like a single parent. Because my husband works abroad. I have three kids to take care and I am a stay home mom. Just like you, doing freelance job so I can stay with my kids. Its kinda hard but we must carry on. It is our role as a parent.
• Sri Lanka
23 Jan 09
Hi Raven, I think you should marry again if you come across someone that you really like adn who will take care of your little daughter like his own. Its not practical to live alone. If you don't want to marry then you should hang in there, when she grows big you wouldn't have to spend so much time attending to her needs. She'll start to do things on her own. So hang in there and have faith that things're gonna get better!
@cbreeze (1205)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I first became a single parent in 1988. Working from home was virtually non existent. I had to work outside of the home; I had to deal with the perils of finding affordable yet safe child care. I struggled constantly with feeling like I wasn't giving my children the attention they needed. But now that they are adults, I can see that doing the best I could really did pay off. They are wonderful people. Inspite of the struggles and heartaches, I wouldn't trade it for the world. They were well worth the effort.
1 person likes this
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I am no longer a single parent. My fiance and I got back together a year ago. I spent a year as a single parent. I know the struggles. Its the little things that make a difference as well. I know how you feel. You have to work but if your child is sick its like how am i going to miss work when there is bills. I am not recieving any assistance from anyone. I work part time. My fiance just started working again so he is not able to help me. I find ways to make it though. I look forward to taxes so i can get caught up. I hope the best for you. You will make it.
@Raven1 (577)
• Australia
22 Jan 09
Thanks for your comment jessi0887. Financially we're doing fine. I earn plenty from my writing efforts, but sometimes I'd just like a day to myself or some time to go shopping on my own or having to stop what I'm writing to tend to her needs. I know I'll never get back with her father - that would be a horrible situation for both of us - but I would like to know what it's like to not feel so snowed under all the time.
• United States
23 Jan 09
Hi Raven1, I might be the most difficult single parent case out there. I was divorced in 1999 when my son was 6. Since then it has been so difficult. I never had a very good work history. I tried to go back to school and I did graduate with an associates degree, but then my dad passed away, and I got very sick. This was 4 years ago. I am still sick today and nothing can be done. So I have applied for disability. My son is ADHD so that makes it even a little tougher. I always wanted the best for him and I always give him the love that he needs. I just cant give him what he needs financially. Which makes me feel like a failure. His dad is no help. He pays his child support (which is the only thing we are living on) but he dosent help any other way. If he buys him clothes, they have to stay at his house. So I am like, why do it? If he cant even have them to go to school? And school fees, I have to pay them to. So he is no help at all. He is a jerk. I am praying that someday things will get easier.
• India
22 Jan 09
hiiii.........gra8 question of our life . this is true thst we have to do work to pa the payments or 4 her studies u have to keep working or after she will become marriage age you have to spent a lot of money in her marriage . after coming office u will give her you enough time to spent with her.............take care
1 person likes this