When their emotions can be overpowering... ....

@gemini_rose (16193)
January 22, 2009 8:16am CST
I find it hard sometimes not to get cranky. What I mean is my daughter just recently has become very attached to me and I have become the centre of her world. I absolutely adore her, but just lately she is becoming very demanding with her emotions, she wants me to hug, kiss and love her all the time and while I dont mind and always show her love when she needs it there are some days when I find it very overpowering and draining. I am not a huggy, lovey dovey person at the best of times and so it can be hard to be in demand so much! Do you ever feel drained by other peoples emotions towards you? If so who by?
6 people like this
11 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
22 Jan 09
My toddler is my only affectionate child, but he's not usually very demanding. I think he's starting to outgrow it. But my husband is the one who's draining. He's overly affectionate and loving sometimes, and I really am not. I can be when I'm in certain moods, but 90% of the time I'm not. He tells me he loves me about 50 times a day, mostly because he just wants to hear it once, and I rarely ever say it (something I have to work on). And he's always trying to kiss me or hug me and many times I just push him away, or don't hug or kiss back. But you know, with him, if he ever backed off a little and wasn't so affectionate, I'd probably start to wonder, lol!
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
Yeah my hubby can be like that too, I have never been overly demonstrative of my affections and he always chooses the worst times to be affectionate, like when I am cooking tea or really busy!!!
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 09
Yep, same thing here. Sometimes it's not something pressing, like I'm just folding laundry or something, but I'll always say "Stop, I'm busy". Gotta work on that.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jan 09
Thanks for BR.
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
22 Jan 09
Gemini my Daughter was like that at that age to and yes it can get draining and does not mean that you do not love her I am a Huggy Person and it was a bit much for me, I think it is a phase Girls go through at that age Hugs to you xxx
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
It is draining, sometimes I just want five and she is there wanting hugs and kisses and if I dont give them to her there and then she thinks I hate her and gets upset so as soon as she says "hug" i have to run over to her and hug her straightaway lol xx
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 09
You know,I can actually feel your pain,though not by hugging and kissing and so forth.. and yes dont get me wrong i do play with my child but she gets just like your daughter but wants me to constantly play with her.. I am a single mom, theres not to many kids around here to play with. shes only 3 years old. and she is always always always saying mommy!!play with me.. I am her only friend most of the time:( I really dont know what i would do with all the hugging and kissing though. we do it normally yes, but i am closter fobic to a point.and to have someone or somthing in my face so close i feel like i cant breath. Kids,gotta love em...
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
It is just hard, I mean she likes to play but at the moment it is more the emotional side. I am not claustrophobic but it just gets too much with all the hugging and kissing, then I leave the room and she is right behind me!!!
2 people like this
@celticeagle (118254)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jan 09
This might be a very good time to bring up boundaries and help her understand about that. Remember, how you treat her can mean how she will treat her children. It is hard sometimes but love them and keep them close. They won't be with you forever and the this time that they are is what you have. I feel fortunate to have my grandson and his love keeps me going so I haven't had your problem.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
I am aware of the fact that she will soon be in school and all this will end and nearly all of the time I am fine its just sometimes you know?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (118254)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jan 09
Believe me, we all get that way. My daughter is that way with her son. If she going to start school soon this is an excellent time to teach her about boundaries. My grandson is having issues at school be cause he is a touchy and affectionate little fellow. In our family that is very common but at school you really have to tone it down.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
23 Jan 09
It is a phase she will get over it, maybe you can make a game with her, one, two, three hugs, no more, and don't stop everytime she wants a hug, ignore her just a little bit, so she knows the she can't just want on demand,
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
23 Jan 09
I think once she starts school she will be more confident, she could feel a bit insecure.
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
I have two girls under the age of 3 and they are both the same.. more so the little one now. . the elder was that way till i had the baby then she didn't like to share my attention so now when he's home she goes to her dad more often then not. . I get cranky often too.. i try to not let them see my crankiess.. and i keep a nice smile on my face lol. Then at the end of teh night when everyone is in bed. i have a nice strong drink to melt the day away ;)
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
No I dont let her see that I am affected by it she would never know it!
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
22 Jan 09
Dear gemini rose, I think that maybe your daughter is bored. My 3 boys certainly got a lot of cuddles and hugs but they had each other to play with. However, my daughter came 7 years later and she was very clingy. I have to tell you that I am a mother who gave plenty pf hugs and kisses to my children. I found that if I started her on something - like painting - something to absorb her for 15 20 minutes she was o.k. and I got a break. I then had to praise her for being so grown up in playing by herself. Or I would givbe her a tea set and she prepared tea for her dolls and then I would join her for a while and bring some cookies etc. That's all the advice I have! Blessings
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
Thank you that is good advice, I will certainly try to find more to occupy her.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I do feel drained by other people's emotions towards me all of the time. I am a very busy person and I am very well maintained and organised. I hate it when some invades my space or wants all of my attention when I am busy.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
I think sometimes that it is it with me, I do not get a lot of space with having four kids and a husband and sometimes it just all gets a bit too much for me, that sounds selfish considering I chose to have them all actually.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
This is such a awesome discussion. To be honest I have a 16 month on daughter and I've suffered with post partum.So for myself it is really hard somedays to feel disconnected after having a child. Your honesty is very admirable. I know myself I feel like i should want to give my child attention at all times. So I think a little guilt is perhaps normal.I dont think people adress topics like this much and they should.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
22 Jan 09
No people do not address topics like this, and yet we all have different feelings about things to do with our children. I adore my daughter to bits but just sometimes the amount of loving she wants is just so draining, it can be hard to keep giving some days.
1 person likes this
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
23 Jan 09
All the time! I have three children and a husband, I am usually drained. Not only do I have to deal with my children dealing with my husband being deployed, i'm having to deal with my husband being deployed as well. Of course, I am supposed to be the strong one and comfort my children and my husband, but there isn't anyone to comfort me. It's draining, but that's when I stop and thank God for each moment I have with my children and my husband. I would rather be drained and have them and them have me, then to not be drained and missed an awesome opportunity to be a mother and wife. it's hard, but i stay in prayer and just ask God to comfort me and to give me strength and He always does. God bless
• India
23 Jan 09
Hi gemini.i respect ur emotions towards ur baby.co i know a mother is the god gifted to our starnge world.a mother can creat a life.and about ur daughter.she is also great.u will feel the softness of her loyal love towards u.i salute to u as a mother.coz we man's cant understand ur feelings.hts off to u.