Wanting to leave parents' house after marriage

Philippines
January 23, 2009 2:06am CST
Hi all! I have lived in the suburbs most of my life, I think around 28 years of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. However, what I don’t like is, it is quite far from downtown and most of the business centers. So when I go out and have to take the commuter jeepney (our public transportation), it is really very tiring. And it takes so much time to prepare and have to go out earlier. When I first got married, I was really excited to move to my husband’s parents’ house because they live in the city. It is very near everything. I didn’t have to spend extra for my transportation and my clients can just visit me because they have store in the ground floor. It was pretty convenient. But really, city living has its perks, but it can also be tiring. Now that I am having a vacation here at my parents, I am enjoying the peace and quiet and the freshness of the air. Maybe we will do this next time, especially if our daughter will be born. We spend the weekdays at my in-laws and spend the weekends at my parents. I think it would be a great thing to do. It is soo peaceful here. Makes me feel refreshed. How about you? Do you also feel the same way? Take care all and God bless you!
4 people like this
14 responses
• United States
23 Jan 09
I grew up in the suburbs of St. Louis, went to college in rural Illinois, and now I've lived in NYC for 3+ years. If I could have my cake and eat it too, I'd have multiple locations I can live in and go between all of them for a cross-polination of differing infrastructures, because there are things I love about all of them, but if I stay too long I start to go nuts. Also, you might want start to initiate strategies for a place of your own, because there's nothing more satisfying than having a place you call your own and all the shots.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 09
I couldn't agree more with what you said! There's a place for everything.
@GemmaR (8526)
23 Jan 09
I think it's important to make a new start after you've got married, so that you can start life in your new family. If you have a baby as well, then it's even more important to get settled somewhere you all will feel comfortable and will be able to live without any worries. I would love to go and live in the countryside! I don't live too far off now, but I mean in the middle of hundreds of fields with animals in them.. But city life has benefits as well! One of which being jobs and shopping, both of which I need! So I guess we shall have to see!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
23 Jan 09
I see you point. I was married from 18 to 27years old. When I got divorced I went to live with my parents for the children s sake. From 27 to 40, I was still there. And had a hard time getting away, hahaha! Got a job offer in Berlin, and I had my chance to get away in peace. My children are grown up. Know I want my own life. It is not easy living with parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and am very grateful for there help with my children through the years. But, still there are some things I would have liked to have done differently. But, you always have to be careful what you say, in order not to get in to difficult confrontations. That is only normal. But, I think in your case, the houses must be bigger. That would help too. In Holland everything is small, you cannot really have privacy. Take care.
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
27 Jan 09
Thank-you for BR. Hope all is well. Take care, happy mylotting.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
7 Feb 09
Hello spoiled311, I also prefer to stay with my family. I feel close to them. When I just started working, I lived with my eldest sister. I moved out after getting married and since then, live on my own. I come from a small but quite a busy town. So, it is not much different from where I am staying right now. We live in a condominium in the city - not really in the middle of the city but it is just like 15 minutes to the city center. I don't like the hustle and bustle of the city, but I can't live in places far from the city too.
@rmuxagirl (7561)
• United States
26 Jan 09
I can't wait to move out of my parents house when I get married, but right now I am planning on moving out to be near my boyfriend who lives in another state and try something new and look for a better job than what I have here. I think it would be good for me because I will have some freedom from my parents, but still able to come home when I want to.
• China
25 Jan 09
i dont know how i should do.because i want to respect my husband's choosing. if he want,i will.if he dont want,i also will.in fact,i know the relationship is very difficult to get along with.hehe
• Singapore
24 Jan 09
You know what? You have the both side of the world, city and suburb. This is so great. If I were you, I would do the same as you are doing now, weekdays in the city and weekends in the suburbs with parents, this is so great!! Further, this will benefit your kid as she can taste life not only in city but suburbs. GREAT~~~!!
@zalilame (880)
• Malaysia
24 Jan 09
I am still living with my in laws and I had a hard time disciplining my child. Whenever I say something my child will turn to his grandfather and he will give him something to soothe him up. He ended up being stubborn. It is better if we start a new life rather than regretting it later.
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
24 Jan 09
When i got married, my husband and I decided to live in our own house. We wanted to stand on our own. Do our own stuff. We wanted to be responsible with the life we created for each other. We don't want our parents to be part of our problems. Especially now that we are already parents of our own.
• China
24 Jan 09
well,i haven't get marriage yet but honestly i don't wanna live at in-laws,my cousin is living at her in-laws and she's really tiring...because she have to cook for her husband's parents no matter how tired she is
• United States
23 Jan 09
I think this is the perfect situation for you. You can get the best of both world's now that you can easily distingush between city and suburbs. I would visit the suburbs if I wanted to relax as well. I feel the same way because the city is always so busy! And I think its wonderful that you still live with your parents. I know they appreciate you there, because the truth is that some parents just don't want to see their children leave. Its so sad for them, having shared so many of lives memories with you. I wish you goodluck with everything!! *Hummerh2k2
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
23 Jan 09
[i]Hi spoiled, I spend a lot of my time in the City with my Sister from our life being a student until the time we were working and I always miss our place where my parents reside this time, it is far from the city but it is very very peaceful as well as everything is fresh! I always love to spend my time there! Here in my hubby's place, we are also 5 mins drive from downtown and it is a quiet area! I like it but there is nothing like home! LOL![/i]
@mac_bb (156)
• United States
23 Jan 09
i think there is nothing like mom and dads house i love it there i will go there any time i get the chanc. it is so relaxing, and parents always want to feed you heck sometimes they even give me money whats better then that i would move back if i could
@syang0901 (120)
• China
23 Jan 09
That's a wise dicision that you spend the weekdays at your in-laws and spend the weedkends at your parents. I haven't be married, and I still live with my parents. I also feel it's not convient coz I 'm live far away from the downtown. Happy mylotting!