Age gap, thoughts?

@wiccania (3360)
United States
January 24, 2009 11:10pm CST
Not that anything has actually started beyond chatting, flirting and the exchange of phone numbers, but... I met a guy who is really nice, incredibly cute... makes me laugh, makes me smile when I see him, sweet as can be, all that good stuff that you can pick up about someone in the odd 15 minute or so conversations we can get in when we see each other. There's flirting and talk of going out sometime and all that feel good stuff. The only "issue" I can see is that there's an age gap. Until a few days ago, I thought he was about 26-27 years old. He's actually 22. I'm 33, he's aware of my age, so I'm not playing "ooh let me deceive you and pretend I'm younger than I am" or anything like that. I honestly don't think there's a problem with an age difference, but someone did bring up subjects like "MILF Hunters" and things like that. Honestly, he doesn't seem the type. Frankly, he seems to be really mature for his age (is there any way to put that without it sounding condescending?), afterall, I thought he was easily 5 years older. Of course, I've been wrong about guys' intentions before -- some of them are quite crafty, you know. I do really like this guy, and if things are wandering down that path I'd definitely like to take that stroll. So... is the age gap thing really that bad? I mean, are people going to look at me like some kind of predator if I start dating someone that much younger than me? I'm just curious.
6 people like this
21 responses
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
25 Jan 09
I don't think that age maters when it comes to relationships. A lot of older women have relationships with younger guys and guess what, they are happy with their lives. If the guy makes your feel special, then by all means go for it. No, you are not a predator if you out with younger guys. Just ignore those people who make ignorant comments about age gap.
1 person likes this
@kaitan (46)
• Japan
25 Jan 09
hi wiccania...age doesn't matter at all when it comes to love.There's nothing wrong with your age gaps as long as you love each other. Well, you're both adults and you can decide for yourselves.If your happy with him then go for it. It doesn't matter at all what others think...just let them mind their own business. That's your life anyway.
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8526)
25 Jan 09
I think an age gap is only an issue if you allow it to be. Obviously if you're a teenager then the age gap might matter more, as the younger one would most likely be much less experienced than the older one, and might therefore take advantage of that fact. As long as you're in love, I don't think age matters. If you get on well, then that's the most important thing in a relationship, not how many years you've been on the planet.
1 person likes this
@cherriemae (3374)
• Philippines
25 Jan 09
For me, i prefer to date older than me. Already had the experience dating guys younger than me but it's a headache for me..lol Older man is much prefered because they more matured than younger ones. Also i love to be treated like baby..lol But, maybe it really depends on the attitude or if you have the same likes, maybe relationship will really work..
1 person likes this
@nancyrowina (3850)
25 Jan 09
The gap between your ages doesn't sound that bad if you say it out loud, I'm 27 and my boyfriends 45 now that sounds bad. If a 33 year old man was dating a 22 year old girl I bet no one would blink, if the guy seems mature enough for you give it a go just don't get to serious until you're sure he's as mature as he seems.
1 person likes this
@1rickyme (146)
• India
25 Jan 09
MY dear friend stop minding others just listen to your heart what it says if you really like him and he really dose u go for a relation ship. I only tell u that check out whether he is true about his love or its just it is his attraction
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Well, I think it depends on the people in question. I've heard people on mylot say that the relationships of people with large age gaps always fail, but since I am studying psychology and have studied a lot about human relationships, marriage, and divorce rates, I realize that any relationship can fail and a large number of them do for reasons other than an age difference. I think some people can handle it and some people can't. I think it's more of a problem for those individuals who have a harder time accepting the age difference than for those who are more open-minded about age. The sounding mature for his age thing doesn't sound condescending. My husband and I have a 6.5 year age difference between us. That's not the 11 year difference that you have, but it's still a pretty good age gap. I think the fact that we got together when I was 17 and he was 24 amplified that age difference, but we still never had a problem with the age thing. Yeah, he sometimes acts sore about it because I guess sometimes I make him feel old, but it's not really a big deal or a source of argument or disagreement for us. In all honesty, I was mature for my age when we met and he was a little immature for his age, so we met somewhere in the middle. I'd say it's worth giving it a shot. Just try not to think about it and make a big deal about it because I honestly think that that would just hurt the relationship more than anything else. See how you get along and where it goes from there. After all, how much could it hurt just to date the guy and see how it goes? You might find that all those other people are wrong and you get along great. So many people told me and my husband not to get married, but I'm so glad we did. If I hadn't given it a shot and gone with my natural instinct, I would never have had the chance to be happy together with him now and have the beautiful 5-year-old boy that we have together. You just never know what could be.
• United States
26 Jan 09
Age gap? That's not that much of a age gap! When I read the heading for this post, I though of a 20-30 age gap.If you like the guy , then go for it! You are already talking so I assume you two have found things you have in common, so there is a connection. And if there is a connection , then age is just a number.
@ShanLhey (165)
• Philippines
26 Jan 09
For me, It's not a big deal. I'm a single. I choose to date men for now and being committed witgh them. I'm happy that they do respect me. For now, I am setting aside myself to have a relationship. I have been hurt, that's why I can't seem to moved on. I just want to be happy in dating. As long as your happy with that guy or gal you have now, no reason for him to accept him/her. Just be true to yourself. If you're both happy why not. Just always make sure that you really want that guy to avoid regrets.
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Hey wiccania! I am living with my boyfriend who is 11 years younger than me! I am 56, he is 45! Sometimes it bothers him a bit that I am alot older than him, but what difference does it really make? We get along really well, we laugh all the time, we do household chores together and we enjoy each others company! So what if there is an age gap of 11 years? He is also black and I am white! So what! As long as you and this guy don't have a problem with the age thing go for it! Never mind what people will say! They will say something anyway!
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
25 Jan 09
I am 8 years older than my husband, but he is much more mature than his age. Of course, there are times when I feel he is acting immature, I am sure he could say the same about me. I do not think that an 11 year age gap is bad at all as long as you are both happy. I know plenty of relationships in which the woman is 10 years or so older than the man, and they are all perfectly happy. just as my husband and I are. If you are happy with this man, go for it, do not let the age difference stop you from being really happy. Of course, you will have some people who will think it is odd, but how important is their opinion, really? It is your opinion and feelings that matter, not that of those around you.
@lomasbee (30)
• Trinidad And Tobago
25 Jan 09
It depends on where you are in life?do you have kids,will he good with them?are you ready settle down?will he ready to be in such a relationship when you are?Hot chillies might be fun and challenging to eat now ,but do you know when to drink the milk and prevent the diahorrea later?I don't judge anyone,so if it ships passing into the then go for it girl ...wave hello and sound your horn.Remember we only live once,but it 's not how long you live is how well you live.
@Kat4676 (474)
• United States
25 Jan 09
All that really matters is that you guys are happy. I am with someone younger than I am and we have a great relationship. We have been together almost 7 years now and at first, I got that look from other people and heard their comments. I just blew them off as I am happy with who I am with. Eventually those looks will go away and they will realize that you are happy. Have a good one. :) Kat "Age is a matter of mind, If you don't mind, it don't matter"
@Corimore (249)
• United States
25 Jan 09
They age gap isn't so bad if he is mature enough for you. Most men don't mature as fast as women that is why you usually see younger women with older men. But sometimes a younger man brings a breath of fresh fun into your life. If you really like him give him a chance it might be worth itin the end.
• United States
25 Jan 09
"Age doesn't matter" Age doesn't matter when you two are in love, and you should not care what other thinks of you two. I heard recently that most guys are looking for older woman to be with, even celebrities do that(or vice versa, woman looks for younger men). I think as a guy, it's a personal preference that we look for experience in a woman.
@yezzyk (180)
• Netherlands
25 Jan 09
Hi Wiccania, I wouldn't worry to much about this, if I were you. If it's ment to be, it's ment to be. It's not like he's under age, and you're still very young yourself. If you're really worried about the age difference between the two of you, then try to find out what stage in life he is. Is he as mature and serious about life as you are or is he still showing adolessent behaviour. Then ask yourself if you are willing to go with that flow. If you are, no problem, if you're not, also no problem. Just try to figure that one out for yourself. If your worries concern what PEOPLE AROUND YOU might say: please don't listen to them. ANY relationship should be funded on love for eachother. Someone else is NOT you, therefore cannot tell you how you should feel. Follow your heart. Good luck!
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Hello wiccania! Don't feel too bad about it. I mean age is not really the hindrance for you to love each other. I will tell you, I am 30 years younger than my husband but we love each other very much. He doesn't even look like 52. He looks like 30 actually (that's what other people said). People are not judgemental about our relationship. So don't worry about it, if he really loves you and that you love him too, then go for it!
@sacmom (14314)
• United States
25 Jan 09
You might get teased a little, especially if you have friends or family members that are jokesters. Pay them no mind. Both of you are adults and if you like each other that's all that should matter. My husband and I have an 8 and a half year age gap. He'll be 42 next month and I'm 33. Our age difference has never really been an issue, though I was under age when I met him...whoops! LOL We've been together for the past 17 years so if you do the math you'll figure out how young I was when I met him. My husband did think I was older than I was when we first met. He wasn't the only one. A lot of people had mistaken me for being older than I was when I was younger. So it wasn't like he was after some young thing. It just worked out that way. LOL
• Philippines
25 Jan 09
[i]It depends on the kind of society you are living in right now. There are places wherein people easily accepts things that are not of the norms (e.g., guy must be older than the gal) but there are places as well wherein people can be so judgmental and strict about the norms that they may raise an eyebrow on you. Personally though, I see nothing wrong with the age gap. I mean, what do others care anyway? It's not that they're the one in the relationship, or that they'll be the one who'll adjust to the gap. This is between you and the guy. Besides, you could easily pass for a 21 , so go for it! [/i]
• Canada
25 Jan 09
I am 26 who is with a 45 year old.. whos only ONE YEAR younger then my mom so..........my advice.. ignore any ignorant thatj udge you for your taste... you like him? then date him..... your both adults.. its what you and him think that matters not strangers who are idiots :)