I should be so lucky!

@Humbug25 (12551)
January 26, 2009 3:28pm CST
Sure I have had my ups and downs in life just like anyone else. Sure I married an idiot and had a loveless, strained and abusive relationship with him but I am lucky to have three beautiful children to show for my trouble!! LOL My younger brother has had very little problems in his life just going through a divorce which was very amicable. He has now remarried and has a beautiful baby boy. My older brother, however, hasn't had things so easy. At the age of 18 he joined the army only to be dashed of his dreams and discharged on medical grounds. He then married a woman he fell deeply in love with at the age of 21 and she was 47. He was the breadwinner and glorified babysitter to her 3 kids. He got a divorce and married another woman. They had a son who later died of cancer at the age of 3. That marriage didn't survive either and is now unable to see his daughters from this marriage on a regular basis. He has now married again and has two lovely twin boys. He has filed for bankruptcy twice during this relationship and one of his sons has got problems with his hip. Luckily my brother is a happy go lucky type of person and has been able to cope with what life has thrown at him. Do you consider yourself to be lucky in life?
5 people like this
23 responses
• United States
26 Jan 09
I got pregnant at the age of 18 and had a beautiful daughter! We thought she was perfect until she turned 4 months and we realized that she wasn't following anything with her eyes. We found out that she has Optic Nerve Hypoplasia (basically, she's blind), but she is the happiest little person I have ever met. I don't really think anything has to do with luck. Having a blind daughter is not lucky at all. Neither is having a husband that doesn't work and plays WOW all day, but you have to play the hand you were dealt. God wouldn't put any obstacles in your life if he knew that you couldn't overcome them.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
26 Jan 09
Hi there leatherandlatex I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, it won't be easy but I am sure you will cope, you have done so far. It is difficult to live with a man like that, I did it for 10 years. I am now out of that situation and lead a very happy life with my kids. I agree with you when you say that we have to cope with the hand that is dealt to us and I guess some people cope better with certain situations than others or maybe they just think they can't cope! Thanks for your response and great user name by the way!!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 09
Gosh L, I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl. I just watched a doc on tv the other day about triplets that were all blind and deaf. I know how you must feel. You are a courageous woman and you have a wonderful perspective on your life despite the current circumstances. And at least your little angel has her health. That is really all that mattere. Every thing else can be handled and risen above because she is there making you stronger every day. I too went through a bit of time where hubby wasn't working and supporting us like he should have been and it was hard to get through. I can't imagine trying to do it in the circumstances of todays economy. But you have faith and have the drive to continue on in the most positive manner you can and that is the important thing. I said a little prayer for your baby. Have a good day!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 09
Allisandra is still amazing and she still crawls around and laughs at everything she hears. You shouldn't pity me or her because there is a reason for everything and everyone. She doesn't know any different. She was born that way so that's how she learns. We're learning with her. Allisandra puts the color and the laughter in our world. She's great! Thank you for your prayer. I think we all need a little prayer time and again. God bless you.
@ellie333 (21029)
27 Jan 09
Hi humbug, Oh yes I count my blessings daily. I have learnt a lot through some of my struggles and it is the life events that have happened that have given me strength. It also helps me to be able to help others that are experiencing something similar to what I have already been through. Huggles. Ellie :D
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi y ellie333 That is more or less the way I look at things. I would love to know how to get into helping women in refuges and that sort of thing. I tried to join the samaritans but that didn't work out either as I am sure you know from an earlier discussion of mine! Thanks ellie
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
29 Jan 09
My body may be battered and bruised From you no more will I be abused Inside I am strong What you did was wrong Today I'll start to sing my song Life you see still goes on. Freedom is the gift you've given me It took this event to make me really see Just how joyful freedom can be You may have thought you loved me What you did in fact was control I've now taken my own direction It might be a winding road ahead But now i'm relaxed at night I now sleep in my bed My body may be battered and brusied But bruises heal. Time to heal yourself I'm still your friend, I still care Release your bruised heart if you dare. When I wrote this I didn't realise that it would help so many people and without naming names the person who it was written for has seeked counselling and has healed themselves which is fantastic as their aggression stemmed from their own insecurities. Thank you for allowing me to share. Ellie:) Hi Humbug, Buy the Big Issue there is usually something in therre if not contact your local socil services or health centre and ask if there is any way you can help at these type of places and they will be able to put you in contact. Good luck. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
30 Jan 09
Thanks ellie
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
27 Jan 09
Some of us have more rockier roads than other to traverse in life and if we are lucky enough to have close friends, companions and hope along the way we can navigate the rocky roads to put us on a safer path. Someone once said to me we are only given what we are capable of handling, but I am more of the believer of what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and if we can struggle through this crazy little thing called life and find happiness en route then we need to grab onto it, grab every opportunity, we only get one shot of life, gee I sound like I am slipping loads of cliches in. I like to think after 9 years of troubles my life has changed for the better. I have two goals that I wish to achieve this year my friend, getting back to work and getting my own place, I am filled with positivity, hope and happiness, for the first time in ages I can say with relish that my confidence has come back and slowly and surely my self esteem is rising. I think it's about positive mental attitude and I want to succeed I want to turn my life around and do it for ME. One final cliche, I apologize but experience really does come at the wrong end of life, and if I knew now what I knew then I think I would have avoided two nasty rocky roads in my life but then I wouldn't be me would I?
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hey wolfie34 I think we both know that having been through what we have has made us stronger and I most certainly wouldn't be so accepting of people's wrong behaviour towards me if I was to enter into another relationship! It would have to be my way of the highway!!! I have discovered that it is important for me to do want I want to with my life and if that means being single then so be it. It doesn't mean to say that I am down with love completely but I think my standards are going to be so high I will be on my own for a long time to come but I am happy to accept that. The love of a man isn't the most important thing for me right now, my children are and I feel lcuky to have them with me to enjoy my life and theirs! Thanks for your input and cliches wolfie
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
3 Feb 09
You are a wonderful person and a sound influence on us all. You should never settle for second best and as they say there is absolutely no stigma about being single, in actual fact the only stigma that people put upon being single is when they themselves are unhappy in their relationship and feel just to look down on those who are single, all in all it's about jealousy. You have wonderful children and they in turn have a wonderful mother and Wolfie has a great friend too ;0)
@glords (2615)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Yes I do... and I marvel at people who are even luckier than I am. I am super lucky to have a wonderful husband and a darling baby boy. We have a little yellow condo that we call home. It is very cozy and fits the three of us perfectly. Sometimes I drive down the streets of a nearby community and look at the big homes with many vehicles parked out front. It seems like many young couples with little new born babies are much luckier than I am. I wonder about their success, but do not envy them. I'm perfectly happy in my small little home. I can't imagine a happier home. I feel truly blessed everyday.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hey there glords That's great. You know something though? Those people who you might think are luckier than you might not be so. They might be experiencing so many other problems behind their closed doors. So you might just well be the luckiest person on this planet and you don't know it!! LOL Thanks a lot for your lovely response
@glords (2615)
• United States
29 Jan 09
too true... too true, but from here there winding staircases look fabulous!
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 09
More yes than no although I'm not in the happiest place right now.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hey dawny I am sorry to hear that things aren't to great for you right now but life moves on quickly and I am sure you will be in a better place soon. Take care dawn
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Jan 09
Marriage counseling, giving it a year... After that, things will be different and hopefully better. :-)
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
29 Jan 09
yes, we all haveour problems. Your brother has had more than his share of them. I'm so sorry for the loss of the baby. It's very hard to lose them of all the babies when they leave us. We have had our problems which I won't go into but all through life we had had huge obsticales to over come. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hi there moondancer Humans sure are built of strong stuff and can usually cope with any situation thrown at us. I don't think there are many situations I couldn't cope with because I have a loving supportive strong family behind me! Thanks for your response
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
28 Jan 09
No, not lucky. I would have to say that I made my own luck in my life by hard work. I have always worked hard but looking back I can see that in my deepest moments of despair a ray of hope was given to me. This happened every time and so many times. I am sorry for your brother and wish that he could get to see his girls. Perhaps because he has this type of personality that he is able to cope with it all. What a pity that his children cannot see their cousins. I do hope that it works out o.k. for him
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hi ya cynthiann I think he seems to attract the same sort of women and he is easily walked over by them. He is just a nice guy and he's a great father to his kids. I think that when he girls grow up they will decide for themselves that they can come and see their dad when they like and what a great dad he is. It's just a shame he is missing seeing them grow up. What goes around comes around and I believe his time will come! Thanks cynthiann
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
27 Jan 09
I do consider myself lucky. In he sense hat I dbeter count my blessings than grumble about the things that I do lack. Up till now I am healthy and I can work, I have a stable job. I have aloving family, an adorable son. I am not saying that my marriage is rosy, i has its ups and downs like anyboyd else. We have our disagreements.. I hope htat you manage to settle with someone who can really love you and your kids. You seem a very lovable and warm woman.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hi ronaldinu Thanks that's very sweet of you! I do believe that I am a good person and I deserve to be with a guy who is going to treat me right so I will not settle for someone who is second best to me, rather someone who is my sole mate. At least going through the marriage I did, has made me stronger, but it is not the recommended route I would advise anyone else to take! LOL Thanks ronaldinu and I hope you and your wife can sort your differences out, read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus it might help both of you to understand where you are both coming from! Take care my friend.
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
27 Jan 09
i can't say that i consider myself to be lucky in life... but i always try to be grateful for what i have and what God has given to me... i believe that His blessings are abundant and sufficient for me and i am quite content with what i have now... i try not to be greedy in this life and just be happy with what i have... i believe that whatever things happen in my life whether it is good or bad, it is in His hands and they all happen for good reasons... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hi ya lingli_78 I do believe that things happen for a reason but that reason is not always a good one!! Thanks for your response
• United States
27 Jan 09
hi humbug25...it's great that you love your children despite the disappointing relationship with your husband. i don't have it easy but i'm getting by. as long as i can pay my bills and do some things i enjoy i'm better off than many people and can be considered rich. so i'm glad that i'm not worse off.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hi ya greenglitterturtle Yeah I do love my kids alot even though the two eldest resemble their father alot I can cope with that - it's not their fault!! LOL . We certainly don't have a lot of money but we have what we need and we have each other which makes me really happy and lucky! Thanks for your response
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
Actually, i'm not lucky but i'm blessed to have a wonderful hubby and family.. There are still things that i'm not grateful for like my poor health condition which has been bothering me for so many years.. I'm praying that God will grant me complete healing/miracle.. Good health/miracle is all i'm asking for.. material things? i don't need them because i'm already happy and content with the things i have right now..
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Feb 09
Hi ya gracie04 Sometimes all you need around you in life is a wonderful significant other and family. I don't have much but I do have a loving family and great kids and need nothing more. I hope you get the miracle you are searching for, it might come in your direction in a way you won't expect but I hope it comes soon. Take care of yourself and the ones you love! Thanks gracie
• Egypt
27 Jan 09
Wow, Had anyone of you ever stopped to think that maybe you don't choose your significant other wisely. Anyways Personally I consider myself very lucky. I am Happily single ^_^
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi ya agirlfromtomorrow On that one occasion I certainly didn't chose wisely and have learnt from that mistake. My brother on the other hand I am not too sure about!!! LOL thanks for your response
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Hello humbug25! I am very sorry for what had happened to your brother. His life story is like a story on a book. I am glad that he was able to cope all the bad things that had happened to him. I consider myself very lucky. All my life, I have experience only the good things. I mean, I have some down moments too, but not that bad compare to others. Just simple things actually.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hello aisaellis He might well have been through worse that he has not even told his family about but I think that is bad enough!! I consider myself lucky now too!! Thanks aisa
@subha12 (18453)
• India
27 Jan 09
I am very very unlucky in life. Nothing good has occurred to me. Till date from childhood, I had been always unlucky. Even in small cases, luck never favoured me. I only have very good parents. Nothing more than that. In career very unlucky despite having an excellent educational background and marks all throughout.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi there subha12 I am sorry to hear that you have not had a very lucky life so far but I am sure that in time your luck will change and your life will be completely different from now. Good luck my friend and keep your chin up! Thanks for your response
• China
27 Jan 09
Well I never consider myself to be lucky in life,life seems normal to me and I like my life.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hey there toma0210 and welcome to myLot That is great to know but what is normal? LOL Thanks for your response and happy mylotting
• Lubbock, Texas
27 Jan 09
Yep! My motto is "Life is good, live it". I too had a bad marriage, but I can top your 3 wonderful children. I have 5! All grown, all productive members of their community, all loving and respectful to both their parents. There's always someone who has it worse than I do. Most of the time I don't have to look very far to find at least one. We all have problems but how we view them is what makes life different for each individual.
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi ya thebeaddoodler There's always someone who wants to go one better!! LOL . Well it sounds like you have done a darn good job of bringing your kids up well adjusted despite the circumstances. My kids are still young and I have still quite some way to go with them yet but I am determined they will turn out to be good individuals. I agree with you totally when you say it does depend on how we view our problems as individuals. Thanks a lot for your lovely response
@zhuuraan (967)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I by no means consider myself to be lucky, but I don't complain about my problems either. All my life I've been abused in various ways, watched my family slowly break into tiny little pieces, dealt with an eye condition which has caused me to gradually lose my vision, been backstabbed by people I thought were friends and learned not to trust anyone, and a multitude of other negatives. So, I do not consider myself lucky except for one thing. I have a loving man, the only person in the world I can trust, and that is more than enough for me. I have tons of problems, but unlike some people, I don't throw a temper tantrum about them.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi there zhuuraan I am glad to hear that you don't have a temper tantrum, that wouldn't be good. I know what you mean though, some people just can't cope with the difficulties in life even they aren't as worse off as a lot of people! I am so glad to hear that you have the support of a good man though, it is important to have at least one person in your life that you can trust and depend on. Thank you so much for your response
@messageme (2821)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I have always seen myself as a very unlucky person. In every aspect of my life. My features, I feel I was unlucky and have to deal with skin prolems. Im only 26 and I have already had blood clots in my lungs twice, I always seem to come upon difficult situations in life and most times I seem to have always made the wrong choices and never know until later in life.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi ya messageme I have made some wrong decisions in life too but I always learn by them and that is important. I think that it is part of life and growing as a person. My mum turns 60 this year and I am sure she is still making the wrong choices but she has made some good ones too. I am in the middle of both of my brothers, one has made life look easy, the other makes a hard job of it and me, well I have had lots of good times and equally lots of bad. Good luck in the future Thanks messageme
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Well I believe that we make are own luck, but figuratively speaking yes in some ways I consider myself lucky, to spite the rough roads Iv had because Iv been blessed in other ways with my wonderful family and the few talents I have and just living everyday and having hope for new beginnings, and even though I still have quite a few hurtles to climb I still feel blessed.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi ya apples99 I think to a certain degree we do make our own luck but I think that sometimes it is fate. Maybe it was fate that has got me to the place I am now but it was certainly bad luck the way I went around getting there Hahahaha!! My husband did actually tell someone after I fled that I was only with him because I wanted children!! I did laugh so much because I told them that don't they think that if that was the case I would have found an easier way of doing that by marrying someone else!!! LOL Thanks apples
@dmrone (751)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Well no, not lucky. I consider myself Blessed. I have 7 children, 3 are grown. I have 3 grandchildren. Even though my life is not without it ups (which there are a few) and downs (which there are more of these), it is better than i could have asked for in most ways.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Jan 09
Hi ya dmrone Well I don't think I would be where I am today without having those downs as I am certainly having more than my fair share of ups right now. Sorry to everyone who is having more downs than ups! Thanks for your response