When is it worthwhile to take a stand and when should you just let it be?

@miamilady (4924)
United States
January 26, 2009 6:51pm CST
I face this question a lot in my life. I haven't found a lot of things that I thought were worth taking a stand for. There are a few things... My children. I will stick up for them when it's appropriate. Myself. It really depends on the circumstances. Most things just aren't worth a fight for me. Friends. If they are strong enough to fight their own battles, I let them. Those who can't stick up for themselves. That, I think is something worth fighting for. What are some circumstances in your life that you have felt that it was worth taking a stand over? What things have you decided to walk away from because it just wasn't worth the fight?
5 people like this
14 responses
• United States
27 Jan 09
I find that most things aren't worth a fight anymore. I think I'm mellowing in my old age. I used to fight at the drop of a hat when I was younger! I will stand up for my family and friends if I think they are right. If they are wrong I tell them so. If they are in physical danger I will stand up for them right or wrong. I will also defend someone who is unable to defend themselves, children, animals, older people. I can't stand it when someone takes advantage of a weakness.
2 people like this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
27 Jan 09
One instance, not the only, is for a friend of mine who has had a hard time of life and suffers from panic/anxiety. She has no family who will help her, they are all idiots and worthless. I have had to stand up for her many times when she was too ill to do it for herself. Her daughter, up until recently, was of no help and now she will not talk to me because I had to basically tell her off and let others know of her lack of support (people in high places) in order to get her off of her butt to help her mother. I did not care if she never talked to me again, I had to help her mom. I will not get into details, but when someone truly cannot do for themselves, and others are causing them harm, you bet that I will get in there, even if I get hurt doing it.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
29 Jan 09
My son has been struggling with anxiety for several months now. I can empathize with you and your friend. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
27 Jan 09
if you mean physical fights I don't do that, and never did, but fighting for someone's rights, verbally and legally I have always done that, and I will continue to do that until I die.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Physical fights didn't enter my mind. I was talking about taking a stand verbally and morally. Thanks for the post!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 09
Like a good mother , you seem to pi=ut your kids first . But I am her to tell you , when it is necessary you should fight for yourself just as much as you would for your children.Me, I will fight for everything I think is worthwhile.For me, family , country , a stranger it doesn't matter.Right is right.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I'm working on standing up for myself a bit more too. I don't think I allowed myself to be too much of a doormat, but there were probably times when I let people get away with more than they should have. Thanks for the post!
2 people like this
@davido (1623)
• Canada
28 Jan 09
My lady, well it is good to be the captain, but it depends now with me. I used to be like this before but I have mellowed down a bit and I try to look at the situation first and try to settle any conflict that might arise. In a situation that i was not there when the whole thing was brewing or I was not informed earlier but got to know when the situation can not be remedied, I simply let who is wrong knows that he/she is wrong and then find a lasting solution. I used to stand up for people mostly my families and friends of course but i dont have much friends, I stood up for one while she wasnt around over an issue but whn an issue occured and I expected her to do the same she just turned around against me...! but thank God i have been exonorated.
@tsgirl01 (900)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Hi miamilady, this is a good question. Personally, I tend to let things be in the outside world. When it comes to family and friends, that is another matter. I stick up for them when they are right. I do not like to see people being picked on or gossiped about and I say so most of the time. I would not stand by and let someone pick on the elderly or a child. All in all, I take a stand when necessary. As I have gotten older, I am quieter when no one is in harms way.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I will stand up for my kids. If it is appropriate. I have to do it alot with my special needs child. I used to be quiet and laid back, and easy to walk all over. Not anymore, but it has to be something pretty big for me to fight for.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
i wish that i can be like you miamilady. because, i always get involved in the troubles that even others that i do not know get involved in. maybe, because of the way that i am, i have saved the lives of those that i have helped. an example would be a youth who drives a motorcycle and picks up passengers headed for the mountainous area where lots of farms are located. i was on my way to one of our farms and i hired this guy to bring me to that area. along the way, he was accosted by five able men. they were trying to harm him so bad. i can tell by the way they speak and the steel sticks that they intended to do him with. i asked the men as to what was it all about. having known that the driver has erred them gravely, i asked them to get the case to the barangay chairman rather than kill the person. they will surely be properly remunerated and then the family will also be reprimanded for the whole incident. it was good that they followed my advice. the driver and his family was so thankful that i didn't leave him, as i told to do so by those five men.
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
Hi miamilady! It is the same with me. I will stand by my family and friends if they can't fight their own battle alone as long as what they are fighting for is right. And I did have a share of fighting or sticking out with people or beliefs that are not worth fighting for in the end. I learned a lot from it all. There are a lot of things that I thought were right before and had stood my ground and in the end I was wrong. Those were painful and humbling experiences but I have learned. take care and have a great day! lovelots..faith
@violeta_va (4834)
• Australia
27 Jan 09
First and most of all I stand up for my son he needs me the most. I stand up when I feel someone is making me look like an idiot. I stand up to defend people who are wrongly accused of something or not there to defend them self. I stand up for people that cant do that them self.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
29 Jan 09
Very true.I cannot pinpoint exact situations but these days there are many occasions when I just move on without standing up and making points.Unless it really matters and has a direct relevance to our own selves, it is better to just get on without taking a firm stand on.This is more in case of subjective issues like personal preferences, choices, tastes, appreciations etc..Only if someone imposes on us we can stand up and protest .Otherwise I too have come to the conclusion that many things are not worthy of our heavy involvement and pointless discussion. It is the people who are directly involved that have to come to any conclusions and there is no point taking a stand for something particular.However, I do voice my opinion in the event of a general discussion and when some person aggressively puts forth an argument that is based purely on subjectivity I do gently point out the irrelevant aspect and bias by gently citing an example. I have found this effective because though aggressive , some people are forced to take heed of your words when it is based on true life examples where they themeselves are affected.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
29 Jan 09
moreover, in instances of customs, habits , practices I never take a stand on and adopt the strict policy'each to one's own'.
• India
29 Jan 09
Same here, most things for me are just not worth standing up for. When I was younger and the world looked conquerable and constant the way I wanted, I would always create a big fuss whenever the world shifted a hair! That was my immaturity. Experience now tells me that just like the constantly moving universe, everything moves on, what is important to me today, loses its importance in a few hours for now. Time moves on and our intolerance only stresses us more. Nothing is lost forever except my loved ones. And like you, I would stand up for them but not for everything. Most of the times I will remain mum, I don’t really like interacting much with people over various everyday issues…its only when I feel its almost the nose-under-water situation that I will step in.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
29 Jan 09
To answer your question, if you think it is worth you taking your stand, it is worth taking your stand. Many a times, I let it be simply because I know there is no need for me to waste energy on it. It makes no sense for me to make my stand when eventually the truth will surface. However, if I am being maligned, no way I will let it be. lol.
• United States
28 Jan 09
When you see a particular leadership abusing people you have to take a stand on the principles that are right... I really feel like the David taking on the Goliath (Government and the Church) as another light to expose the darkness that is expanding all around us. Would you like an example of taking a stand of principle right here in MyLot where another poster wants to twist words to cause mayhem? If the government allows perjury then the truth is not the foundation and there is no peace. Democracy will not work with out the truth. I learned that the one stand we must take is against he lies of liars because one little lie grows all out of proportion and people die as a result. In my way of thinking lies could be the single leading cause for depression (the gateway for other physical ailments.) When will we learn? We can not allow little abuses because little abuses grow... I know... I also know that violence is not the answer... The answer is totally in getting the voice of the victim heard...