Most discouraging thing someone has ever said to you?

Canada
January 26, 2009 10:24pm CST
During my senior year of high school, I remember talking to one of my friends about where we were applying to and what we wanted to do after we graduated. At some point, I mentioned that I wanted to apply to this very prestigious program (I don't even remember what it was), and she told me that I shouldn't because according to her I'm "not intelligent, just hard working". That is probably the most discouraging thing that anyone has ever said, even though that is what I feel like most of the time. I don't have the greatest self-esteem, but whenever someone says something that confirms a negative belief that I have about myself, it just makes my heart sink a little bit. What is the most discouraging thing that someone has ever said to you? How did you react?
3 people like this
10 responses
@ktosea (2027)
• China
27 Jan 09
if I am in your shoes,I will be discouraged too.the saying "not intelligent,just hard working" sounds really bad.the thing make me frustrated is when my friends or some one close says that" you can not do it,it's beyond your talent"or something makes my heart sink.anyhow we should have faith in ourselves at least.impossible is nothing!
• United States
27 Jan 09
ktosea, nothing is beyond your talent! You can achieve anything you want in life as long as you put your mind to it. Don't let anyone make your heart sink. There are alot of things that I never thought I would accomplish but I did. I am not talented by any means but I am a hard worker, wife, and mother of three girls. (headache) lol. The laundry is done, the dishes are done, the bills are paid...need I say more? I accomplished what I needed to. I'm sure that the impossible is right there.
• United States
28 Jan 09
A guy I was engaged to quite some years ago had told me that "there's no excuse for you". I was blown away by his remark and at that point had chosen to end out relationship. He did not respect me or my opinion. All because we had miscommunication on something. So I realized that if he was going to do this to me now what would it be like if I were married to him? I just couldn't let myself find out so I kicked him to the curb.
• Canada
28 Jan 09
Wow, that's terrible! But at least he said it out in the open...who knows what would have happened if you married him. Sometimes, it's best to end things early, before it's too late.
• United States
27 Jan 09
When I was a high school senior my guidance counselor told me I wasn't smart enough to get into my dream school (Stanford). I had a 4.0 GPA at the time and finished high school the 4.0. I never did apply to Stanford, but I wish I had not listened to the jerk.
• Canada
27 Jan 09
Ouch. I overheard this conversation the other day. These girls were talking about a science teacher they had in high school. He'd tell a lot of people that they shouldn't apply for the enriched science program, because he didn't think that they were brilliant enough.
• United States
27 Jan 09
I have a friend that seems "to try" to put me down since she doesn't have to work because her husband makes a lot of money. I ignore what she says and I say that I work part-time to "get me out". Which in part, I do just to get me out. Four walls close in fast. I know that he makes more than me and my husband put together but I will never really let her know that. Don't take this stuff to heart, one day you will excell above your means and do good for all. I don't like when people try to make themselves look better. There is good in all!
• Canada
27 Jan 09
Ouch, I hate people like that especially when they don't earn their own money...so they don't really have any merit of their own to be proud about, yet they put other people down.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
At my space someone emailed me discribing himself as a widower and looking for women whom he would wish he could stay the rest of his life. He described himself as working 32 years in military service and in other words he's well to do. I replied to him as it's alright even we just became friends, when I checked on my space he has only one friend so I sent him friend request, he didn't accept it but send me hello greetings instead. So I sent him message asking why is he not accepting my friend request, I was so discouraged with his email asking me to try to send him money. I replied, wrong sent, the message may not be for me. he replied "it's for you my kid met an accidenr, I need 185 dollars more for his surgery." I was so discouraged with this man out of nowhere being very proud of himself now by just sending him friend request, he's already asking for money as if he's a family member. That's the most discouraging thing that someone has ever said to me. Am sure, he's just making fun or fool out of me.
• Canada
28 Jan 09
the most discouraging thing someone ever told me is that if I was not disabled (I cant walk) id be hot.... that killed my self esteem.
@tjhtommyj (261)
• Canada
28 Jan 09
This may totally backwards but the most discouraging thing anyone has ever said to me was that I could do it...I'd been told I wouldn't do things, or couldn't do things for as long as I can remember and I used it as motivation. I proved people wrong it's what I did. When the day finally came when I was told I could do it...I didn't know what to do. I suddenly didn't want to do it anymore, I had zero motivation. I have no problem hearing it now, but back then it was extremely discouraging.
@TnWoman (1896)
• United States
27 Jan 09
hello saffrondreams i am so sorry to hear about what your friend has said to you like that. (hugs) but to answer your question about what was the most discouraging thing that somebody has ever said to me, i had made a basketball cake a couple of months ago, and as soon as my hubby got home that afternoon and seen the cake sitting on the kitchen table, the first thing out of his nasty mouth was, i ain't never seen a basketball that looked like that before. well needless to say, i wound up leaving the house that night because we got into a heated argument over the dang basketball cake that i had made for somebody else. men! what do they know? lol take care and have a beautiful evening.
@uath13 (8207)
• United States
27 Jan 09
That my position was no longer necessary... Felt like I was being told I was unnecessary personally.
• Canada
27 Jan 09
The most discouraging thing someone has ever said to me i would have to say was "Well he doesnt like you anyways so theres no point in trying". Me and one of my friends both liked the same guy which i didnt know at the time, and once i asked her her opinion on if he likes me back, thats how she responded and it broke my heart. At the time i never knew she even liked him but once i sat down with her and talked it out, turned out that he did like me and she knew but she was jealous of me so she tried to put me down. So dont worry about what your friend said because they could always just be trying to get to you to knock you down your tool, but you just have to get right back on and show that your the bigger person that can go through tough times.Once she see's that, she wont be hard on you anymore.