Who the H_ll fights over food!!..so mad!

@bunnybon7 (37468)
Holiday, Florida
January 28, 2009 1:27pm CST
You all are probably tired of hearing me rant but i have no one else to do with. My sons gf, lets call her Agra for short, has again gotten on my last nerve. because of my son, i have tried to stop complaining and let things go, look over snide remarks, etc. but last night agra really did it shes overweight, so you wouldnt think she'd fight about food! what a child (but shes my age). I raised my kids to eat whatever they wanted. my family has always been a "make yourself at home and here, eat something!" kind of family. 2 days ago, agra made a fuss because we had enough leftovers to make another dinner. I didnt know she was planning on making dinner with them and had a little for lunch. she pitched a b_tch. anyway, i apologised over and over. its not like we are low on food. i pay a third and dont eat halph of what she does. Then last night, she screamed "Who ate the rest of these chips?" I didnt get any of these kind." Well, i told her there was just a little left and fessed up to it and said im so sorry. even tho shes making it seem like im a pigsince my illness, im still underweight. my son offered to go get more and like a child, agra said no i dont want any now!! anyway he also told me, eat anything you want, shes being just crazy. i ate them also he said. she went to bed mad and hasnt spoken to me yet today! hhhhmmm. i just think this is awful why the h_ll would someone fight over food when they have plenty? have you ever known someone like that? sorry this is so long. hope it gets read anyway.
9 people like this
24 responses
• United States
29 Jan 09
It sounds like this isn't about food with her at all. It sounds like she's upset about another matter, perhaps about sharing the home, and would find just about anything to get a fight rolling. I've experienced this in the past and, in all honesty, there's just no pleasing these types of people. They're miserable and, until they're completely alone, they won't realize how well they had it.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Jan 09
No, I have never known anybody like that but I have heard of people who will fight just for the sake of fighting. She’s disturbed (and its her problem) so she’s just looking for excuses to spread that disturbance around and make people miserable. Also I don’t think overweight people eat less, if they did they wouldn’t be overweight. In fact, its said that overweight is more of a mental disease than a physical one. The more overweight people become, they are depressed and the more depressed they are, they eat to overcome depression (yes, food has its own therapeutic value here)…it’s a vicious cycle really and maybe this lady is reacting just because of this depression.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Lord I don't think I could live there with that woman if she did that to me..I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't..She would have me drove nuts. I am overweight and I don't fight over food. Your son needs to talk to her about her treating you that way. I know he probably has tried but seems she needs to come to the understanding that you exist and you help pay for groceries so therefore you are allowed to eat. If she is having a problem with that..tell her to stick post-its on everything that she thinks as her.. or doesn't want bothered or has plans for.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I would have suggested she put a few somewhere else but figured that was going a bit far...I am sorry that you have to go through that. You are underweight she should be helping you gain a few pounds and forcing you to eat or let you eat what you want. If she truly cared she would...let you eat. I do hope you feel better soon.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Feb 09
hi hon yes i know. people on here have made me see i need to get a little more backbone and not let her get to me. since i started this discussion there have been a few more run ins with her. but i think we are working it out. thank goodness i can come here and get good advice from friends like you.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Feb 09
oh and also my son has laid the law down with her. he wants me to be happy here.
@cripfemme (7715)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Of course I don't know her but this person seems very immature. It seems like she likes to pick fights over small things. I often see this in people who feel like they have no power over them selves to effect anything. Do you know what her reasoning is for this behavior.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Jan 09
well like people have pointed out and i've concluded, shes either jealous of me or has a medical/mental problem, or just wants to find a way to have everything to herself again and the control over everything in the house but she cant cause its my sons house but before i came she had her way about everything.
@cripfemme (7715)
• United States
30 Jan 09
Does she live you or do you live with her and you son?
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Jan 09
i moved in with her and my son because she could no longer pay half the bills. its his house and he was slideing back on his mortgage and figured it would be easier for all of us 3 to share bills. she agreed to everything, even encouraged me by telling me things were going to be this way and that and now shes going back on some of it and my son is getting pretty tired of the way shes acting. guess shes gotten away with treating him like this and now hes seeing some ways shes impossible.maybe its just an adjustment thing.
28 Jan 09
Hi bunnybon7, Whose house is it anyway? if she is going with your son, what right has she got to treat you like that, I will tell you something if you don't do something about it now your life will be hell when she does marry your son, she will rule the roast and even be homeless, has your son got no back bone to treat her like she is a princess, I wouldn't stand for it, and tell her where to go. I would talk to your son if I were you. That really made my blood boiled. Tamara
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
made mine boil to. we all talked this eve when he came home from work and she said he'd been on her butt all eveing last. he said that even tho the house was in his name it was all of us 3's home. and if she kept making me feel unwelcome then she knew what she could do. i dont have to worry about him marrying her as hes already told her NO! he was just taught to treat women well and now i regret teaching him that sometimes
29 Jan 09
Hi bunnybon7, If the house is in your son's name then he can boot her out, she is no good for him and will make his life and yours hell and you have done a good job for your son to teach him to respect women but its not his fault some women are nasty. Love and hugs. Tamara
19 Feb 09
Hi bunnybon7, Many thank you for giving me best response, hope you are well and all is fine with you, love and hugs. Tamara
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I am not sure if I have responded to this or not so if I have I am sorry, lol. Something like this sounds familiar so that is why I say that I may have responded to it. Well I feel that if she is wanting food she has either a eating disorder or she was once in a situation where she didn't have much food. I think the best thing for you to do is to explain to her that there is plenty of food and if she doesn't get any of what she likes then she can get it later on. I don't know if this will help but maybe it will. I would also recommend asking her what she does like to eat and if it's one of her favorites. Whoever is in charge of food shopping, or if everyone is then the next time they or you or whoever goes out to the store, pick something up she likes, and of course let her SHARE it.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Feb 09
well the problem is she does do the shopping and when she comes home we help put it away, then she lays the reciept on the counter and my son figures how much we each (3 of us) owe on it.we all put things on the list. she does the cooking which was decided before i came because my son and i pay the mortgage (its concidered my rent per say)because she doesnt get much money from disability. and i do. all this was supposed to be everything we worked out before i came. im just not used to stipulations on food and didnt realise she didnt get any of those chips. i mean they had been here 2 weeks!son had eaten most of them in fact. its more than that. she is just having problems getting used to me being here. but its getting better. at times. we still have little tiffs but im sure it will work out sooner or later one way or the other LOL!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Oh well I guess then that she may be jealous, I heard another responder say that. Either way I do hope that the two of you can get along well.
@snowcat46 (2323)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Stop apologizing to this twit!! Is it your house? If she complains about the leftovers, tell her to make something with them and walk away. Don't apologize!!! When you apologize, you're saying you're in the wrong. That just makes it worse. (I know. I had a sis-in-law who stayed here for a few weeks) The more she can bully you, the more she will. Don't argue with her, don't apologize, just make a statement and walk away. She wants power. The food and other things are a way for her to take over. If you react to her temper tantrums, they'll just keep coming and get worse. Ignore them like you would a little kid's temper tantrums. You can tell her you'll talk to her about something, but not if she's screaming at you. By not reacting or apologizing, you're taking some of the power back. Be strong. (and you might need ear plugs too)
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
you have a very good idea. i didnt apologize about the chips. last night she came to me and said she was sorry and didnt know what makes her act like that. but, shes done this before also, so i think its fear of losing my son when she apologizes to me.
@snowcat46 (2323)
• United States
30 Jan 09
Wouldn't it be nice if she feared you more? :)
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
29 Jan 09
hun, be glad she's not talking to you, then she can't complain
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
YES! thats what my son said
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
29 Jan 09
if you really get fed up with her (sorry, no pun intended) you can just hold your hand up and say "talk to the hand, the wrist ain't listenin'"
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
28 Jan 09
Sounds to me like if she continues not talking to you, that you're ahead of the game. If she's your age, and hasn't grown up yet, it's not likely that she's going to anytime soon. If she wants to throw temper tantrums, I'd tell her to sit in time-out until she's ready to speak like a human being, not an animal. does she talk to everyone that way, or just you? Maybe she's insecure, and with her behavior, she should be! What does your son see in her??? Ok. Now I've gotten that off my chest, let's look at each incident. The leftovers that she'd planned to make something with. Did she tell anybody? Did she put a post-it note on the container? Now the chips. When they were gone, she yelled that she hadn't gotten any of "that kind". Where there more than one kind open? If so, and she chose not to eat any, why is that your fault? If she absolutely HAS to have some of each, let her put some in a baggie...how hard is that? Here's a solution. Can you afford to get seven t-shirts, in assorted colors? Have each one say, "LACK OF PLANNING ON YOUR PART IS NOT A PROBLEM ON MY PART". Then wear one every day of the week. One more thought....has her behavior changed? If so, there could be a medical reason. Sudden displays of anger could be an early sign of alzheimers.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
omg! shes actually said she might be getting that. but you know, she has every ailment you can think of and yet more energy and wellness than me. yes, when my son got home, i said she hasnt spoken to me all day and he said well thats a good thing, right? yep, ask me do i care. thats a good idea for a shirt, also, i should get one that says ask me do i care, huh?
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
29 Jan 09
My step-daughter has a wicked temper, which she shares frequently . I usually do something she doesn't expect, which serves to disarm the tantrum du jour. Yesterday, I quietly got out the digital camera. She asked what i was doing, and I told her that when she gets mad her coloring was excellent so I wanted to get a picture to post on the web. She disappeared into her room and I didn't see her for the rest of the night
@mgmagana (3621)
• United States
2 Feb 09
my mother in law lived with us for 4 yrs. and now i don't talk to her anymore...it's just all bad and asking for trouble when u live together. at least u fessed up to it.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Feb 09
i try not to argue with her because i dont like upsetting my son. but lets put it this way, i wouldnt want to be caught on a desert island or some where theres no food with her we know who'd be eaten
• United States
1 Feb 09
how freaking immature!! now if you were like eating every single thing she bought then that would be one thing but since you all share and you pay your part and arent eating more than would be normal then she needs to shut the hell up! if she is so obsessed with her chips she should buy an extra bag or hoard the one bag in her room or something to where its not going to be "mistaken" as everyones!!
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Feb 09
thats right. its pretty well straightened out to a degree now and she got kind of po'd last night when i went and bought some and "hoarded" it in my room. she didnt say anything but i think it bugs her when i dont do something she can bi_ch about.
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
30 Jan 09
wow the girl is hungry lol. Thats rude of her. Your son can do better. He needs to kick her butt out and find someone new. Hes not going to marry her anyway so why keep her around. sorry you have to go through that. Maybe she needs to put her chips on the side with her name on them.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Jan 09
the bad thing is they were not just her chips. its like they were the households who knew she hadnt got any? i think shes stretching her rope with my son if you know what mean
@laglen (19782)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I would find a way to move away form her.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Jan 09
it would be very hard at this point to let my son down. but i may do it if things dont get better anyway
@sahmof2 (274)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I've been over people houses who gets mad about food and I don't understand why would somebody get mad over food it's food. I can understand if the family was low on food but I'm talking about people who gets mad right after going food shopping,and see someone eat something. I just ask whenever I go in their kitchen even though they say I don't have to but I've seen how they act towards other people and at other times to make me want to ask.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Jan 09
yes its very childish and pretty bad if its your own food shared
• Canada
29 Jan 09
WOW Sounds like a spoiled brat to me. She needs a good dose of her own medicine. I would say show her what she is doing and find out if she likes it when you do it to her.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
thats an idea. i might use that some time. right now im feeling bad for my son. hes in the middle and loves us both.
• Mauritius
29 Jan 09
i got my cousin who is overweight and his stomach will be full only after he has eaten 5 rounders. And when his mother tells him it is not health safe he simply do not listen to her. And whenever his mom would buy some cakes or food for him and his sister he would like to have all. But his dad is very strict and he listens to everything daddy says and agrees to his dad decision.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
well thats good that he has some disipline in his life. i think this one never has.
• India
29 Jan 09
Oh my gosh!! Looks like this girl (woman?) requires a slap across her butt!! LOL!! I would have gladly administered it. Why on earth did you apologize so much for EATING? Since when is eating a crime or a sin? LOL!! Are you living with your son and his wife? Ever thought of moving out??? You will have loads of peace then. Agra doesn't sound exactly "healthy" to me. Cheers and happy Mylotting
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
yes im living with them. they talked me into it because my son was having trouble paying his mortgage because she only gets disability and not as much as me. but you know how that goes. she promised so much things would be ok and she'd be so good to me etc. my sons lived up to his promises. so i think she better here. only been here 2 mths so maybe we are just still adjusting.
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Hey bunny! She does sound like a child! I feel bad that you are stuck there with her! She doesn't sound the least bit pleasant to be around! Why does your son put up with her? I would hate to have to live like that and with someone as mean and petty as her! She sounds like she has other issues! She really sounds so childish complaining and getting angry over food like that! I don't blame you for being upset! I would tell her off before this goes on any longer. Being that you pay your way and it's your food too I wouldn't stand for that kind of behavior! And I don't know why your son seems to be putting up with it either!
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
your right. i've told him hes whipped (if you know what i mean) but i guess he cares. been with her for 6 yrs. maybe some day he will come to his senses. but it wont be long if she keeps this up. she doesnt seem to realise a lot of us didnt have the greatest childhood either. she didnt go thru half the crap i did, but still i cant make her understand... LET IT GO! and grow up you know.
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
29 Jan 09
If she is overweight and you are under weight, I wouldn't mind betting that she feels she should have more than you do...never mind equal shares. Suggest to her that if she wants to eat more and you and her boy eat less then she should pay more. Tell her too that you were off sick the day they taught mind reading. It is wrong of her to be so disrespectful to both you and your son....she is also being obnoxious and unreasonable and this behaviour puts your son in a position where he has to take sides and this is NOT A GOOD THING. If her bahaviour is out of the blue then there is something else wrong and you are supposed to read her mind (again) to get to the bottom of it. Have fun, you are not in the wrong...don't let her bring you down or make you angry...find the funny side and you can come here and rant anytime.
@bunnybon7 (37468)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jan 09
thanks. thats what i love about mylot. its a great outlet without having to keep a fight/argument going here. its also making me smile at times like this when my friends say such funny things. thanks again for making me smile
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
29 Jan 09
well yes, it is long and I read every word trying to make sense of why she may be upset with you. I honestly don't get it. Beyond the fact that you pay your share and it is just dumb to argue over food when there is plenty....you are her boyfriends mom...you are underweight. enough said. you are underweight and you live in my home so therefore you are my friend....I am going to stuff you up!! You need some pounds packed on. something is seriously defunct in your son's girlfriends thinking if she feels that it within her rights to complain about this. Apparantly she is giving you the cold shoulder? be greatful....don't let it get to you.