Should a child help pay for things for the house/family?

@Pleiades (847)
United States
January 28, 2009 10:27pm CST
My daughter is very lucky. She's 13 years old and babysits her cousing once a week. Now, depending on how long she's there, she earns from $30-$40 USD. That's alot of mula for a girl her age. My mother suggested that my daughter start paying for things needed around the house and other things. I know she really doesn't want to do it, but she's picked up the bills on several occasions, even bought her brother his new car seat. What do you think, if your child has a job, should they help pay for things needed around the house? *Pleiades
10 people like this
51 responses
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
IT IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER'S OBLIGATION TO PAY THINGS GENERALLY WHAT THE FAMILY NEEDS. Good thing that she has a part time job at her age. But what she has to earn from that job should not be taken especially for the fundamental needs of the house. She has to save the money and allow her to decide where to spend the money. It is also good if she has her own account and save some for her future as early as now. Do not make her think that she has to take responsible for the needs of the house. That is possible only when she earns much and have a full time job. It will be instilled in her mind that it would be her obligation to pay for the bills on her age like that. Allow her to be discreet how and where she will put the money. In her age now and she's earning, she'll go far.
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I THINK SHE SHOULD SPEND IT FOR THINGS SHE NEEDS BUT NOT THE WHOLE FAMILY. THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR TO ME. SHE'S SMART ENOUGH TO EARN IT 7 if she wants tohelp w/something that's different but i don't think u should expect her to.
2 people like this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Oh, when I said "whole family", I meant for small things. I don't listen to my mother in all things but there are somethings that she will pay for herself. But, she did treat me to getting my haircut, that was nice. But, that was after my mother told her to. Granted, it took us nearly six months to get it done, but whatever. *Pleiades
2 people like this
• United States
29 Jan 09
Obviously your mother lives very close to you, if not with you. If I were you I would be very careful of anyone, including your mother, telling that girl how she should spend her money. Using emotional blackmail, especially guilt, to force a child to 'volunteer' buying something is just plain wrong.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
29 Jan 09
i think y'all are taking advantage of her.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I could see having her buy some of her own things that she wants, but does not really need. I don't however think a 13 year old should HAVE to spend her money on household things. If she wants to that is one thing, but personally I don't think making her is right.
2 people like this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Hello Lily. What really bugs me is how my son can blow $5 on junk food from a gas station...where's the responsibilty in that? None...he enjoyed every penny of it. That and he pays his sister to do his chores. What a ham. *Pleiades
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I have a brother that would rather pay someone to do his laundry than do it himself and he is a grown man.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6999)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Not as a requirement, but you can teach your kids that its something nice they can do. I'm almost an adult now, but I've off and on had to help support my family. Before, my Mom just taught me the values of working hard for your money and spending it responsibly. As I got older, I learned about adult worries...like bills via mail-order subscriptions...which was a decent primer for our bout with poverty at age 13 for me. I KNOW dark example, xD sorry. But you see what I'm saying though? As long as you're not terribly strict or stringent about it, casual...and even fun, you can do good lessons with money that'll stick and be useful later.
2 people like this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I liked your answer the best because, you know where I'm going with this question. Yes, what your mother taught you and what you're learning now are what I want my daughter to know when she gets older. Oh, you'd be happy to know that the car seat she bought for her brother was half the price I found for another one. Not only is she smart, pretty and rich, she's a frugal shopper like us! *Pleiades
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Not as a requirement, but you can teach your kids that its something nice they can do Yea thats completely different...I'm like that with my kids and have always been..but its NEVER been required or demanded of them..
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 09
Absolutely NOT. Oh, if there is an emergency and you have to have grocery money then you could BORROW some of her money. I would require her to put at least half of what she is making into savings. She can use the rest for things she wants or needs, with parental approval. She could hire a sibling to do part of her normal household chores. That would help another child learn about working and gaining spending money. It is the parents job to provide for the child, not the child for the parent. Buying gifts, if this is what she choses is not the same as requiring her to pay bills.
2 people like this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
29 Jan 09
*lol* Twice in a row one time I forgot my bank card at home and luckily, she had the cash. I did pay her back, don't worry. :D *Pleiades
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 09
well my brother helps buy groceries for the house, but he has a good paying job at a grocery store, and plus he's 18. i mean if she gets a few years older i think it would be okay to if money is tight. its not like she has to pay room and board or anything. i had a classmate who had to help pay bills because their money is tight(she's 16). it just depends on the age and the financial situation.
• Canada
29 Jan 09
With her only being 13 I say no, unless i is absolutely needed. Although i do think she should have a savings account and be made to put at least $10 into it when she gets it so she can learn to save her money. If she was bringing home 200-300 a week then yes I would make her pay a little for things she wants for school lunches and stuff like that and maybe buy some of her school clothes or supplies. But she is only making a small amount of money and is only 13 most kids her age are still getting allowances.
2 people like this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Oh, I know. My mother is such a frugal woman, she doesn't want me buying anything brand new because things cost money. I wish I could convince her to save her money, it burns a hole in her pocket all the time. I know she needs to have her money to do things with, trust me. There was a time when I was married to this man and on the way to church, he'd forget to bring his offering money and took her allowance instead. I don't take her money, I ask her if she could chip in and help out. Yes, I do pay her back in some way or another. She knows things are tight for us right now and she's a darling for doing what she does. *Pleiades
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Jan 09
AWW well that is so good. At least you have taught her well enough to know that there are times where she should help out and not to be selfish and keep her money for only her. I commend you for that. Not alot of parents do that anymore. I think maybe you should just tell your mom that she is 13 and helps with other things and you do not agree that she needs to be paying.
1 person likes this
@lieanat (1140)
• Malaysia
29 Jan 09
Hi, if my daughter got this lucky job. I'll open a saving account of Fix deposit account with her to keep her money. Well, I'll let her use some of her money for her own pleasure / needs such as buy her barbie dolls and etc. I'll not asking her to pay bills for the house unless I'm penniless. Since she's able to earn money as such young age, it's our responsibility to teach her the correct use of money so that she'll appreciate her money and spend it wisely. Don't you agree?
2 people like this
@mammamuh (582)
• Sweden
29 Jan 09
Not for things for your home or things for other in the family - but I think she should pay some of her own stuff since she's making money. My kids (is not working but getting money at birthdays and so on) need to pay for some of their hobbies - not all it costs, but some of it - if they didn't they wouldn't learn that you can't spend money you don't have and they wouldn't get to do the things they do since we couldn't afford all of it. Like riding and stuff for that.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Jan 09
I don't think that a child should be asked to pay for anything for the family. I understand borrowing money from her and paying her back, that's fine, but it's a parents RESPONSIBILITY to take care of family needs! She worked for that money and she should get to spend it on stuff for herself.
2 people like this
• China
29 Jan 09
Hi,at first ,as a chinese girl,i must say your daughter is sooooo good,beacuse when i was in her age,i was just a carefree girl who still under the care of my parents and even never have the idea to do any partime job.Now i am an university student who also spare some idle time to do partime job .So i would like answer your question from a child's part.I don't like my parents imposing me on paying for the things needed around the house,i would like to spent my earnings on my own will .I think the earnings is my own fruit,only i have the right to decide how to make use of it .But if it's necessary for me to pay ,i will do without hestitation ,if not , i perfer to spent it in what i think is more necessary ,such as buy a gift for my parents' birthday ,or some other more important stuffs .So i hold the opinion that left the right to your daugther ,she knows well how to make use of her fruit!
@palonghorn (5486)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I don't think a child should have to help pay for things around the house. My daughters both had part-time jobs from the time they were 15-16. That was their money. They did buy their own shampoo, soaps, makeup, etc. They also bought their own clothes. The only time they bought something for the house, was if they wanted too. If they offered to pay for something, I let them, it makes them feel they are contributing to the household, but I never asked them too.
2 people like this
• Mauritius
29 Jan 09
if they are working i would say yes. but however 13 years she is still small and she can save the money to buy some things for herself.
2 people like this
@anjel016 (330)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
FYI, I'm not yet mother, I'm still a kid. I just want to share my insights regarding your issue. Its not that I am along side with your daughter but making her help with financial issues in your household is a bad idea. Try putting yourself into her shoes? If you were still a kid and you worked for the money you earned then you will be forced to spend it? How would you feel? Why not let her enjoy first the money she earned herself. Although teach her to save some money so that she'll know what it feels like to have some extra cash around. But in tight situations, you can always "BORROW" some money from her. No matter how you put it, being her parents, you guys would be responsible for your family's financial needs. You've got no right to take away her extra money just because she was able to find a way to earn some. She can always volunteer to share some, but she's not obliged to give it to you guys.
2 people like this
@ulalume (714)
• United States
29 Jan 09
At that age? Heck no. Seriously, she is still a kid. It is your responsibility to take care of her. She can't even "legally" hold a job, so you expect her to pay for stuff you need around the house? Please tell me this is not a joke. She deserves the money she makes and should be able to do with it as she pleases. I would suggest getting her a bank account to put some of it in, though. It would be healthy to teach her how to conserve money (as well as spend it), but to make a thirteen year old pay for anything just shows faulty parenting. I am 18 and told my parents if they're going to take money from me, I am just going to move out. It's not that I have no intentions of moving out or don't help out around the house, but I can not afford to be paying my parents to live under the house they offer freely. I would much rather live on my own if I am paying. Sorry for that semi-offtopic rant, but the bottom line for me is; no, don't take money from your daughter.
2 people like this
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I would say yes, but I would have her pay for things that she uses. I wouldn't expect that all of her earnings to go to help pay expenses, but I would do it to help teach her about budgeting, responsibility and give her a sense of pride in the fact that she is helping out the family. I would also suggest that 10 to 20% go into a savings account. It builds up fast and it would help pay college expenses etc. But don't have her give up ALL the money to help out with things needed around the house or put all of it in savings. Let her have a bit of fun with it, after all she earned it and she should be able to proudly be able to pay for things that she wants.
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
wow, sounds like your daughter is such a thoughtful girl! lots of 20 somethings out there still live with their parents and not even pay a cent! it's good that your child knows the value of money this early. but i do think she is still to young to contribute on the house. after all, you had children to start a family, not because you want help paying the bills. one alternative is that explain to your daughter that she can give you her savings when she can, that you set up a fund or savings for her. so when she grows up it could help with her getting set up with college or for school things or for a rainy day. just so she feels that the money is for her future and at the same time she feels "she helps" in your expenses for her future.
@celestos (814)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I think having her open a savings account would be a great ideal for starters. Maybe depositing part of what she makes into the account each month and letting her spend whatever she wants the rest on. There is nothing wrong with an example if she was wanting a new CD or something and instead of you buying it for her,her spending the money she earned on something she wants. Personally I think it would teach responsibilty in how to manage her spending money and if she offers to pay for things needed around the house thats great,but she shouldn't be asked to. My opinion she has plenty of time ahead of her to worry about bills and so on right now just let her be 13:)
2 people like this
• India
29 Jan 09
no i dont think so because as far as me i want them to earn for themself where they can spend in what they want......as there gudiance we need to take care of the needs in the house...
2 people like this
@laglen (19782)
• United States
2 Feb 09
My daughter just has to cover her own extras. If she wants to go to the movies, she has to pay. When she wants new cds. But I don't have her pay household bills.
1 person likes this
@BinaryKat (738)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Now this is just my opinion, but I think 13 years old is a bit too young to help with things around the house but she could use the money for things she needs or save it up. Now when she gets old enough to work then she should chip in. I know when I started working after graduating college and was still living at home, I had to pay my parents $450 a month which covered the groceries, phone etc etc.
1 person likes this