Is it Right To be choosy While making friends????

Pakistan
January 31, 2009 8:09am CST
what do you think is it right to be choosy while making friends... now i have a friend and she is always saying me i don't trust you yet. i will trust you someday but not now...her behavior irritates me and i have mentioned it to her too. but she says that she is choosy in making friends.So guys i thought why not ask you is she really choosy or its something else that is keeping her away from me. Moreover is it right to be choosy while making friends.If yes then why and in which cases.And what defines that you are choosy or just avoiding your friend.
1 person likes this
23 responses
@madhu_yl (116)
• India
31 Jan 09
Hi xubi999, Yes, while making friends u choose best person,A friend is a gods gift,because they share our feelings and happiness,our problems also.how to get good friend? just you can observe for one week,how to behave with others,their habits,their interests all of them.then you decide that person is right friend or not.this is my opinion to decide good friends.
1 person likes this
@abee1020 (116)
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
i think you have to be choosy.. because the fact that they are the one who will be with you always then they have to be qualified to your standards.. hahaha but don't be rude to someone you don't want because it will establish wrong impression of you! me myself, there are only people whom i called friends..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
i'm quite choosy when it comes to friends..you have your insticts..and you can feel if a certain person has a good heart or no..unless you are trying to justify the things..choosing the right set of friends will help you more in later life..knowing and believing that you can trust them with your life..and you can share your secrets without worries of being judged and laughed at..in this sense..i think it's ok to be choosy..
@donsky14 (5947)
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
I think its okay to be choosy with friends. In a sense that we have to choose friends that won't get us in trouble or friends that could be of bad influence to us. But with what your friend did, I think that's kinda rude? I mean, its just natural that she doesn't trust you yet cause maybe you guys are new friends? But then, to say it in front of your face...its kinda hurtful.
1 person likes this
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I dont think you should trust someone right away when you first become friends because you have to get to know what type of person they are. You have to see if they are just being your friend to use you for some reason then you really dont need that type of person in your life. I have had people become friends with me just to get to know my other friends and then they ditched me. That is wrong. I have also had people who became friends with me because of something i had and that was wrong too. Since i have moved from where i was familiar with everyone to a place where i hardly know anyone i have started looking at people different. I dont trust right away because i want to see if they are the type of people i want in my life. Some party to much as to where i cant party all the time because im a mother of three and some dont understand how hard it is to find a babysitter when you have more then one child. I have found two true friends in my new area that i can trust and i can depend on to be there for me no matter what and they has shown me time and time again that they are definately true friends. As for the other people i know i dont consider them "true friends" i consider them friends and associates because i dont have that trust factor with them. Im sure as time goes i will find more friends but for now im happy with the 2 i got. good luck! and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
I think it'd be good for yourself if you were picky about the people meant to be in your circle. Your 'friend' was right in thinking about being friends with you first, because sometimes people can be jerks. You trust them with everything you got, but then they deceive you in the end. [Trust me; I've been there a bunch of times.] Another factor is how you want people to perceive you as. You try to be friends with bad guys and then they'll assume that you're one of them, but you can't do anything about that anymore. They have their own minds so you can't explain to them at all; the assumption's all in their heads. Be safe; happy MyLotting!
1 person likes this
@mariefe18 (663)
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
Well I guess you can be choosy with your friends but not to the point of hurting somebody else's feeling. If you really want to learn more about the person before telling him or her your secrets keep it low so the person won't be hurt right?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
the girl is right. everybody has to be choosy in making friends especially in trusting strangers because you never know what is their real motives in befriending you. same here with mylot you can invite everybody to be your friend but it does not mean that you will trust them with all the confidential information about your life. there is a big difference between making friends and being friends. the later is with deeper intensity.
@ulalume (713)
• United States
1 Feb 09
Friendships come in many shapes and forms, and can be on many levels. This friend you have may be a "friend", but not a close one. I have friends whom I do not really trust fully, but we have shared interests and I enjoy hanging out with them. I also have one friendship that I can rely on in a physical, spiritual, and emotional sense. I have had friends in the past who've used similar phrases such as the one you mentioned, though. It does feel kind of weak when you consider that "we're supposed to be friends!" In this case, I don't think she is being "choosy." Why? Because she already says she is your friend.
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
I believe it is just right to chose who will be your friends are. As a golden sayin goes, " Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are ". Right xubi?
• Pakistan
1 Feb 09
Sir Right Sir!!!! Hahahahah Thanx for your reply
@Informer (802)
• India
1 Feb 09
we have so many relations where we can't be choosy at all. Like we can't choose our brother, sister, mom, dad Etc. So we have to live with the one whether he or she is god or not but Friend is a kind of person, who we can choose, cause we have to share our life with that one and it's importent to have a good friend.. So, why not to choose a friend carefully.
@abcnadz (457)
• India
1 Feb 09
i think there is absolutely no problem in being chosey while selecting friends. friendship is one relation where you get to choose according to your like. other relations are not like that (except love). we dont get to choose our siblings, our mom and dad etc. we have to adjust with the way they are. but friends are not like that. when you make new friends, everyone makes sure that the person is the kind of friend they want.
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
1 Feb 09
Hi, I think like LOVE,FRIENDSHIP also takes place.It cannot be created/chosen.U r right if Frequency(mental wavelength) adjustment may take placelater,after the Friendship recognisition. If U R choosy in selecting friends according to Ur own parameters pre-set earlier,I'm afraid True Friend will bypass YOU ! =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@sid26484 (44)
• India
1 Feb 09
Yes we should be choosy in selecting our friends cos only if some person can relate to us then only our friendship can last. I have seen friendships been broken over certain trivial issues. So we should be very particular in making friends, so that we have not to repent later.
@nsujin (91)
• India
1 Feb 09
Choose a friend who will inspire and inspire you for the better. Choose your friend as you would choose a car with a clear set of criteria and a test drive
@kitikatz (191)
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
i dont wanna call it being choosy, but I guess its more of hanging out with those kind of people whom you can easily blend with. There are peeps who, no matter what you do, you will never blend with them... and i guess some can misunderstand it as being choosy.
@sergeantrom (5721)
• United States
1 Feb 09
You have every right to be choosy making friends. They can become a big part of your life and happiness. Some friends can suck the very life out of you like vampires with all their daily drama. Good luck but remember, its YOUR life and in the end you should do what makes you happy.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
1 Feb 09
I personally feel that friendship is not made to order . I think the friend you mentioned is very immature- if she goes around saying that she is choosy in making friends and she will trust someone at a later date, people are going to going to get fed up of her attitude and ignore her and start staying away from her. Trust develops over a period of time and it has to come naturally, from both sides.When we talk about being choosy, it sounds very high handed- what exactly does it mean? is there a yard stick? if so it beats the whole purpose of friendship. I feel that friendship is a process where you begin to like a person and interact with a person when there are some common interests and trust is built up over a period of time.
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
1 Feb 09
It's no problem to be choosy when making friends. But don't anyone's feeling. Choose a friend who is kind and sincere.
@zwitdh (47)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
She has right to be choosy and she is right. If i meet someone new who is interested to be my friend, i need time to know more about him, personality, bhave, habit. i ll make sure with whom i deal with. Be choosy can benefit me, if we be friend with "right" person we can share good knowledge, or experience we have no yet instead of spend time and befriend with spoil person.