A rant, a vent, a question???? About my dad's illness

AWWWW! I am so sorry to hear that your dad is sick! As you already know I have always been the sick one in my family... That was until this August when my father became ill as well... He collapsed suddenly while camping and had to have surgery to replace his aortic valve. I must say that that was a new experience for me, the opposite end of someone being sick. Until then I was usually the one in the hospital bed, but this time it was him, that was really difficult to deal with, because many times there is nothing for us to do and so we feel helpless. Now I consider myself to be an expert in hospitals and the like, but cardiology was a new specialty for me. probably the best advice I could give you would be to read, listen, and ask questions and then do it over again until you really feel like you understand what is happening with your dad. In my opinion there's no such thing as a stupid question, the only stupid thing you could do is not ask the questions because then you still do not have the answers and remain in the dark. Read all of the information you can and talk to others going through similar situations. Then read some more. In this case there can not be such a thing as too much information. Knowledge is power and remember doctors are only human to and will make mistakes. If you are not sure of something or it does not make sense to you ask for clarification. Any good doctor will not be offended by your need for a second opinion, in fact it has been my experience that they're happy to get a second opinion if only so it can confirm their own opinion. As for your Dad, if he feels well enough to do the physical things that he's always done, I say let him do it. As long as he has been physically active throughout his life he should be able to continue to be physically active. On the other hand, if he was a couch potato and suddenly decided to become a marathon runner that would not be good. I'm glad to say that my father came through his open heart surgery with flying colors, and even though it drove myself and my mother crazy, my dad shoveled snow this winter. Because as you say he said "I've done this my whole life I can't just sit in the chair and do nothing all day." And so he shoveled snow! I know it's hard and I know we want to protect those we love, but many things are beyond our control, and just remember, he knows how important he is to you, and he loves you jusr as much. Try not to worry so much!(I know, that is differently easier said than done.) You'll be in my thoughts and all the best!

Hmmm don't get me onto the subject of doctors, they seem to think they are Gods some of them and their word is gospel, it is so hard to find a doctor with a good bedside manner and doesn't treat you like a number or a shere inconvenience, I have had so much trouble trying to find a doctor who cares and takes me seriously. They are a rare breed, so I sympathize with you, I guess you have to be assertive with them and if they see you won't be palmed off easily they will do what they can. Your dad is very fortunate in that he has a very caring daughter but my friend I know you worry but your worrying could affect your health too. I hope you get things sorted and get a doctor you can truly trust. I find if I have a problem I look it up on the internet then I am armed with information and more astute when I see the doctor, forewarned is forearmed, it is only because I have laboured my problems and they see I won't go away so fortunately I have been referred to consultants who are more adept at dealing with my complaint. You have to really push them my friend into helping your father. Hugs xx

What are they doing the biopsy on, and what kind of illness is your dad having. I have a friend who was in a car wreck in July, and was slow to heal, and continually had pain. They did finally do a bone biopsy and found an infection. He is on IV antibiotics now and improving all the time. Doctors are only human. Your dad may feel better if he is moving.

I don't blame you. My dad is so stubborn! He can know I'm right about a health situation, and still not do it just because he thinks I'm telling him what to do. As a result I'm trying desperately to figure out how to block worry! But I'm with you, how in the world did they decide to wait to do the biopsy? He would have been in better shape for the biopsy had it been done a while ago, right?

I don't trust doctors either...they are human and they make mistakes. If you have any doubts at all about what they are doing or saying, you should get 2nd and 3rd opinions from somewhere else. Unfortunately, you can't decide this stuff for your dad.

Hi, dear Ur worries reg Ur father's longstanding illness is very well understood.what is not understood is what type of illness he has suffered so far? that Dr ultimately is suspecting Carcinoma and advised for biopsy?If these are not clear with his exact symptoms & lab reports I think commenting will not be worth. =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.

What I have noticed more and more is so many Doctors just seem to want to get you in and out of their office without really taking time to listen to you, and help what really needs to be done. Also with the change in Health plans, etc. it is hard to get the type of Health care most people need as well. But personally Sorry to hear that your dad is still having problems, and hope that when he gets these tests done it will end up just being something minor as well. I will be saying a Prayer for you and him and wishing you all the Best.

Hello, I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I don't understand why doctors behave this way either. 'Some' of them are so slow to act, when 'we' know that there's really something wrong, besides the normal cold, flu, or whatever. I also have trust issues with doctors for many good reasons, after what I've experienced for myself, and loves ones over the years. Some of them just aren't all that competent. I won't go into details here, but there were many mistakes made by doctors, in the care of my mother (many years ago now,) and also in the way my husband was treated fifteen years ago. Both of them passed away, and I'm not entirely blaming the doctors, but there were definitely problems with the 'care' they did receive. Too little, too late. Take care.

What type of infection do they say it is? Are they biopsying to see if it is cancer or what type of bacteria it is? Where is the infection?

I understand your concern.....when my mother was sick she kept telling them that she was sick and they couldn't find anything...a simple blood test would have told them she had cancer...why they waited I don't know....it was too late when they finally listened to her and found it...she knew it all the time...they just didn't listen to her!

Hi eaforeman6! I am sure that your dad can get through whatever illness he got. Your father seems to be very optimistic and full of energy. I am sure such optimism will affect him very positively. Nevertheless, I will be praying for your dad's health and hoping that he will be in the pink of health for a long, long time! take care and have a great day! lovelots..faith

Hi there, friend! I'm so sorry to hear about your dad! My dad has been having lots of troubles lately too. Is your mom still alive?

I think everyone should have aa second opinion or input about anything that's serious going on with them. My grandfather worked on cars and mowed until he couldn't anymore. He insisted on staying active and even went back to work after having retired. I think it's their way of feeling productive and I also think that after years of hard work it's hard for them to just stop. It may be a little boredom too. If it makes him happy..well... I know you worry my friend..I did too. I do think I would talk to him about another opinion for his illness though.