What if you son or daughter is a homosexual?

Malaysia
February 1, 2009 1:01am CST
I have been thinking about this, how would parents react when they find out that their children are gays or lesbians or i would say a homosexual. Thare are lots of reactions goes from being supportive to repelling.. but first i am sure they would be so dissapointed at least if they come from a more traditional kind of family.. the repelling one could even want to break the blood bond relationship with the children or chase them out from the house. which is sad. and for sure not the best choice ever. since they have our blood.. but this could happen even in the most loving family.. true but sad.. in the contrary some would be so supportive and even try to understand their children give her moral support and etc.. what do you think about this? feel free to comment and say whatever you want.. p/s; please don't be offensive. i have nothing against homosexuals.
8 people like this
17 responses
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
1 Feb 09
It wouldn't disturb me that much. They have to live their lives themselves, I cannot hold their hands forever. They have to grow up and decide their own pathways in Life, be it a job or marriage or being gay or straight. I had a gay sister and a gay cousin so maybe I just got used to these things when I was a kid.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
i see, thanks for your responses. thanks for sharing as well
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
2 Feb 09
Hi lovesummer, Since at least one in every 10 babies that are born are homosexual, it does happen to a lot of people. There are still a great many who "stay in the closet" as they say although more and more are coming out in the open. It has to be terrible to have to live a lie because of what your family and friends will think. I know that if one of my sons were to tell me that they are gay I would be very supportive. My main concern would be for their safety as there are still many out there that don't understand. I have a brother who is gay and has lived with the same man for about 35 years and they are really great people. It is always a pleasure to visit their home or to have them visit. My brother has not had an easy life as he has often had to hide the truth from others because he could have lost his job or been placed in danger. He has never been one to broadcast the fact that he is gay although all our family have known for a long time and are very supportive. I know several parents who have had to come to terms with this and for some it has not been easy but it's good to see that all have come to accept it and still love and support their child. I have heard of parents who have disowned their children over this but these people care more about what their friends will say than they do about their children. Parents have to be able to love unconditionally and until we have learned that we are not being fair to our children. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
1 Feb 09
Hi, Being conservative myself, this will possibly give me the biggest jolt. It will notbe easy on my part to adjust or support...I 'll stay aprat with lots of pain,heavy heart. U may call me silly, old-fashioned etc etc...but what I cannot get it from heart, which will not be supported by brain, I donot call it Relationship.If they find meaning in it, they are welcome..I'm not a party...Sorry ! =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
1 Feb 09
i would not be happy.
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
what would you do?
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
1 Feb 09
what could i do?? i would be very disappointed but i love them so guess we'd work it out someway.
@vonvonex (284)
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
The reaction depends on the tradition of the family or what type of family they are. For example... If your dad is also a g'ay, that would be additional fun to the family cause there are already two gays. Hehehehe... but if you dad is in the military, well... Goof luck telling your dad bcause most of the first reactions of dad's are to punch their son. Hehehe... But it only takes time to accept you again by your parents. Surely they would understand as time goes by. So I would suggest to tell you dad earlier so that he wont be disapointed becasue dad's has alot if dreams to their sons.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Feb 09
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
haha Vonvonex, you didn't answer my question. It is if that happened to you what would you do.... hehehe
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
1 Feb 09
Obviously, It isn't what I would want for either of my kids. Life is definitely difficult enough without more challenges. But I love my kids more than anything. They would not only want my support, they would need it. No one is perfect, but I would do my best to provide, support to them. And an open mind. Our children don't ask to be here. As long as we live we should BE there for our kids in whatever capacity is called for.
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
that is very touching..
1 Feb 09
Some of my gay friends which were terrified to come out to me in case I was offended. Goodness knows where they got that silly idea from. I can't speak as a mother, but as an auntie it wouldn't even phase me. I certainly would not be disappointed. I don't think it would phase his grandmother either. His mom would probably be somewhat confused and might even feel a bit of a failure. This is possibly where a lot of the anger comes from; parents who see homosexuality as something that is learned, rather than something that is simply in a person's nature, may see homosexuality in a child as their own doing. Rather than either accept it as something they cannot control, or simply saying "hey, I was hoping you'd go the other way but that's fine" they get angry at the child for their own perceived failings. If my sister does this I shall have to have words. Your children are not you; they will find their own place in this world, no matter what you do, you cannot and should try to make them just like you. Variety, after all, is the spice of life.
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
you are right.. that is what i am looking for in the society..
@kezabelle (2985)
1 Feb 09
Funnily enough I was talking about this to my mum the other day she was saying how she would never have a problem if any of us were homosexual and it ws exactly my way of thinking too, if either of my girls comes to me and says mum im gay to be honest the first thing id be thinking is how id done something right to make them trust me so explicitly to tell me that. Of course I would worry about what that means for them as they get older but society is more "accepting" now a days (although really its no ones place to judge or accept the sexuality of anyone) and I know with my support they would do just fine all I want is for them to be happy.
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
you are lucky to have such mother.. thanks for sharing
• Canada
1 Feb 09
It wouldn't be a big deal to me, as I have no problem with homosexuality. I'd be worried about my kid's safety, though, because it's still very much a culture that condones violence against gay people. And I'd keep the homophobic relatives far away from him/her.
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
glad to know that i think everone should be treated equally
• United States
10 Feb 09
I never wanted to be a parent so this is a Huge guess. I think I would be okay with it. I am straight but not narrow.In the long run does it Really matter? Gay or straight, I would want my child to be happy, period.Back in the day, parents would feel like their child wouldn't or couldn't have a happy life. They wouldn't be able to have a family. Well these days it is possible. They wouldn't settle down. Well, there are movements to legalize gay marriage. So All the things parents thought their child would miss is out there for them if they want it. Let's face it, they could have a straight child who Never seyyles down and has children.
@Latrivia (2889)
• United States
2 Feb 09
I wouldn't have a problem with it if my (future) children came out to me. Actually, I would prefer if they did, that way I could play match maker (or at least tease them and ask if they've got a boyfriend/girlfriend yet). My husband wouldn't mind either, but he probably wouldn't be as enthusiastic as I might be. Their grandparents would be crushed, though. I'm not so sure about my in-laws, but my parents are right-wing fundies, and I can still remember my dark in-the-closet days when they would talk about how being gay was an abomination and how you'd burn in hell for it. I don't know how exactly they'd react, but it definitely won't be a good reaction.
@mjmlagat (3171)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
There's nothing wrong about a child being homosexual--it's how he/she is being created by God, I mean it's God's will that he/she is like that. I would still love my child completely and unconditionally if he/she is homosexual.
@xbrendax (2668)
• United States
2 Feb 09
If they ever came to me and admitted they were gay, what can I do about it? Nothing! I wouldn't like it but I am their mother and I will love them no matter what. I do have some gay friends but I wouldn't like any of my kids to be gay only because of the stigma they would have to go through in life, I wouldn't want to see any of them hurt in any way.
• United States
1 Feb 09
I would probably be very briefly sad, for she would be sure to encounter all sorts of people who would insult her. However, I would want her to be happy with whatever made her life work for her. My children had only to find their niche and be happy to thrill me!
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
1 Feb 09
If it is really happen, then I would listen to all whatever they want to tell me and I will support them as well. Nothing you can change if that is in their blood already. however, if you against them then you make them feel hopeless and turn out to be breaking up all the relationship between you and him/her. Gay or not gay, they are still my children... bad or not bad, they are still my children and I will stand beside them forever and support them as much as I can. As we are parents, we need to care for them and support... if you dont who else will do?
@lokiblitz (169)
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
Thats would really break my heart.Man its easy to say that i will support my son/daughters decision but truly it isnt.Specially in our country that homosexuals isnt really accepted among the people.If ever that he/she really feels that way the only support that i could give is education.Then its up to him/her what to do with his/her life,of course i will still to be an understanding father.
@Aingealicia (1906)
• United States
1 Feb 09
As long as the partner is not abusive I am fine with the relationship, either way. Ainge