How do you feel after children leave home?
February 1, 2009 7:42am CST
My elder daughter had got married in April 2008, but she was completing her studies so she was shuttling between her husband’s house and our house once or twice a month to attend her classes or give her exams. We never felt that she had got married and had moved out as she was there every second day. Her exams finished yesterday and now she has finally moved to her husband’s house and will be setting up her house now. I saw her off this morning at the railway station and then I and my wife returned home in silence. We could feel the vacuum. It was as though she had finally departed never to return. She will keep visiting us once in a while, but then it will not the same now. She has her own home and her own family to tend to. Her priority will now go to her husband and her In-laws. How do you feel when your children finally leave home to set up their own home?
2 Feb 09
hi mercury i don have kids but i left my parents too .. when i left them i was 18 n got job in the city... it has been 18 years .. i visit my parents 2`3 times a year only, now it got worse since i am married, my husband goes to his home town during leaves, even festive is at in laws house ...but i guess that is life of an indian girl no matter what religion or what country ya cheers
1 Feb 09
It is a natural progression I believe and another step they take in life. Most parents bring up our children to be responsible mature and independant adults so we know that one day they will be able to make their own way in life. I accept that there are different customs in different countries and that possibly affects the way that you think. My partner and I have six children between us. We live in a very small town and that means the teenagers can only go so far with their education here. Also there are not a great deal of jobs available for the young ones either until after they are qualified that is. So if they want to go further with their education, then they have to move to a larger town. The same applies with jobs. Some of them do return to the town of course but many of them make a life elsewhere for a whole variety of reasons. All of our children left this town either for work or for further education, whichever they chose. One of our daughters did return here for a while as she was a bit homesick plus wanted to be able to save some money. She was lucky to get a job here and that as because of the experience she had gained elsewhere. She stayed here for a couple of years and then moved out again. Not one of our children lives close and in fact the nearest ones are just over 2 hours drive from us. They come and visit us sometimes and we visit them every couple of months plus on their birthday, if that is possible. Other of the children leave a lot further away than that in fact. Your daughter is with her husband and she has her own home now. Certainly she will no longer be living with you and your wife, but you will still be able to see her I am sure. If she cannot come to visit you, then maybe you can arrange it so that you might be able to visit her sometimes. Yes her priority is her husband and that is the way it should be too I believe, so be happy for her in her new life and be thankful she has a husband who will care for her. there are not a great deal of jobs available here. Also they can only go so far with their education in this town so if they want to go further, they have no choice but to move elsewhere. It is the same with jobs as well