have you ever deal with a difficult person?

Philippines
February 1, 2009 8:12pm CST
can you describe me a situation wherein you had to deal with a difficult person. who was that person? how did you handle it? what was the result? i was telling my 70 year old aunt that she don't need to buy a new car. she insisted that she needs a new car. I had a hard time explaining to her, that her daughter wants to bring her to california. she has problem with her eyes, and she could not see very well. her husband died 5 years ago. she is living alone here. she has one daughter who works and lives in california. Her daughter doesn't want her to buy a new car either. there's no result as of now.
6 people like this
14 responses
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
There are many people that is hard to deal with. Your aunt can't owned or drive a new car because of her eye problem.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
yeah, and she is also forgetful. Sometime she got lost on the road. She even forget what day is today. We really can't do anything about this.
@mikkymyde (184)
• Nigeria
2 Feb 09
I had a situation at work that i had to deal with a difficult customer...I was a supervisor in my office and we have different retail units..it is clearly written on our wall that goods bought and paid for can only be returned within 48 hours if there need be..but there was this woman who bought a an item and she decides to return it 2months later...she came and was almost beating one of my sales assistant on duty and scaring other customers away..as the supervisor i came to the scene and invited her to my office..i explained to her that the sales assistant was just doing his job and i told her i will present her case to a more superior officer ..after she was calm and we took the item from her and refunded her money just for peace to come..it was really a crazy affair..what do you think??I guess I did the right thing..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
she is crazy. Sometimes, even if there is a rule. We need to break it, for the good of majority. Like for example in your case, if you will not refund the item she's complaining of.... She could have done a lot more damage to the store. Like scaring the customer, having an attitude like done. The business will be at lost. Thats a good choice to refund. Thanks for sharing your experience. Happy day!
• United States
2 Feb 09
Well Yes. way too many times to count! Some are in my family, while others I have had run in with at school or at work. If it's possible, I just try to keep my distance away from them. Why? Cause freaks like that Are just Not worth all the heartache! Enough said! Thanks for asking! :D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
too many times to count!, yah... sometimes having too many happenings. I don't want to remember. But there are times you can not really forget the happenings. thanks for commenting.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
first of all you have to know ones situation before you can handle someone who is hard to handle. as per your example, you have to understand that she is already 70 years old and you have to understand that people at that stage are kinda cranky already, like going back to childhood. it is not that you give in to everything she asks for but know how to communicate with them, you should not directly show that it is not alright but explain to her as if you are talking to a kid for her to understand, there would be a lot of words to said. of course, just letting her be is the best next thing and just do what you have to do. remember, every person is different from one another.you just have to be a little bit kinder.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
thanks tiger, for sharing your opinion. she is getting forgetful at the moment. I is like a kid, who keeps on repeating questions.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
they were koreans, can't really speak and understand english so i have to use crooked grammar, actions just to explain the situations of tutors and students. the koreans wanted the tutors not to include games in their classes, be very strict on their students, want to pay at a very low rate. i was trying to explain that if tutors become very strict, then students won't enjoy the class, educational games are useful for students like scrabble,question and answers and other games, if we give low rates then we can't get good and experienced teachers, so most of the time we end up misunderstanding and most often miscommunication.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
aw that's hard. I like to tutor too. But only to one student. I don't have the ability to teach a lot of students. When you mention about educational games. I like it. I think tutoring and having educational games is enjoyable. Kids will enjoy it, and will never know how much they will improve. Kids hate learning when they are seated like a classroom type environment. They are forced to do. They like to play.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
i work in a call center.. and am being place in the billing dept. wer most irate callers are being transferred. i had this customer it took me 2 hours to resolve his issue coz when you explain he yells.. he wont let you speak.. for me the most difficult person to handle is those people doesnt want to understand.. though they do understand.. just prefer not too.. coz they dont have the money to pay and asking for adjustment.. which is bad..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
you are right dear, its hard to communicate to people who yells. They don't listen. Just want to complain, without listening to the explanation. I have a friend who used to work in call center. She resigned after 2 months. She doesn't have patience everytime there is a complain.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
2 Feb 09
70 isn't so old anymore. If your aunt it active and has friends where she is, she may not be ready to move to California yet. You'd be amazed at the social opportunities available to older folks now, maybe she's having fun. Giving up independance isn't easy, and for some people it really is the beginning of the end. I've seen too many relatives 'give up' after having to do so. On the other hand, if she is looking forward to moving, the family could let her know that she'd be better off purchasing the car in California. They have much stricter emission standards there and many cars coming in from other states require expensive modifications to pass CA requirements. Once she gets there (if she moves) then she can really decide if she needs one or not.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
hi catdla1, thanks for sharing your opinion regarding the situation. she is living alone now. I visit her whenever I have time. She is getting forgetful. Her daughter wants her to stay with her in California.
1 person likes this
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
2 Feb 09
Good luck with your aunt! Hopefully your family will be able to reason with her... and hopefully make some sort of compromise where everyone is happy! I used to work in a movie theater, and I dealt with difficult people on a daily basis. One thing most people don't know is that newspapers, websites, and search engines don't get movie times directly from the theaters! The only times movie theaters are responsible for and provide their times for is for the recording on their phoneline and the theater's own website. Newspapers and websites that have movie listings don't get their times from the theaters. The look the times up themselves and include them. And because they do this for all of the theaters in the area, they often make mistakes and don't list the correct times. Almost every single day I'd have a customer come in and ask for a certain show at a certain time, and I'd have to explain that we weren't showing that movie at that time. And of course, they'd always get mad at me and expect me to somehow fix this. All I did was sell the tickets! I'd often have customers that would yell at me saying, "Well your website had that time and YOU need to fix your website so that is shows the right time." and they'd go on like that for awhile. Then I'd finally ask, "What website did you go to?" and they'd say, "Yahoo". Yes, our theater has the power to fix errors in Yahoo's website. It was very difficult dealing with these people! I'd always calmly explain that we had no control over other sources that report our movie times, but they'd always expect me to do something about the mistake. It was never the website's fault or the newspaper's fault, it was always my own personal fault!
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
thats a hard one too trickiwoo. you are lucky that you don't go crazy over these things. now, that you have adjusted to the situation. I think you already get used to the situation.
1 person likes this
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
2 Feb 09
Is she an independent Person? Is She living in an isolated area that she needs a car to get around? Is her eye problem degenerative,or can it be treated? Where does She Live now? Has She been to California before? Does She currently have a car and a valid License,or is wanting a car a new thing? If She has eye problems,that could prevent her getting or renewing a License,but I remember seeing an article not long ago about Legally Blind people being given a License! good luck with the persuasion!
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
hi spy, she is living in an apartment. she lives alone. she has a car before. right now she doesn't own one, she ride jeepney's or taxis. she is living in the philippines. she cannot see well. she renew her drivers license every 2 years.
1 person likes this
@mjanne (251)
• China
3 Feb 09
I have deal with a difficult person too. It was my co-worker, she was a hard going person and always appeared so rudely without any reasons. The best way I deal with her is to treat her patiently. So I think you can talk to your aunt with her daughter togerher. Told her you are very concern about her. I hope she will accepte your advices.
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
hi mjanne, thanks for commenting. we will talk to her again this weekend. her daughter is not living with her. she will call her to make sure she did the right choice.
@Wizzywig (7859)
2 Feb 09
The most difficult person I've dealt with lately was a man in his 70s who had spilt his dinner all down his pyjamas and all over the floor...& trodden in it. He had also wet & soiled himself. It was my task to clean him up and make him comfortable. He told me I was a 'f***ing ignorant c***' & that I should f*** off & leave him alone &, if I didnt, he would punch me in the 'f***ing gob'. I dodged his fists and feet & carried on what I was doing whilst explaining every move to him. He carried on swearing but, when I'd finished, he thanked me and said he thought we both deserved a cup of tea. I made him a cup but didnt have chance to have one myself as I had to move onto the next patient. Depending on the degree of her visual impairment, it may well be illegal for your aunt to be driving but, if anyone told me I had to stop driving I would hate the loss of independence. I guess she is misunderstanding your reasons for saying she doesnt need the car. If she has been living alone and doing what she wants for the last 5 years, she is not going to take kindly to anyone telling her what she does or doesnt need.
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
wow, you sure are very helpful person, and understands a lot of person. Your work is hard. sometimes I get impatient right away. I sometimes jump to conclusions too. Thanks for sharing your experience.
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
2 Feb 09
Hi, I know a hard person like Ur aunt, who is my internal auditor.He is never satisfied.More U try to explain more he has the query from different angles.An old man,we cannot dis-respect- but he is a real tough nut, a headache...every year we face 5 days acute headache during his operations in internal audit. In ur aunt's case she also knows a new car is not needed,neither her own daughter approves it.But she needs attention, thus new car demand is her attention-getter.Handle with care... =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
You are right, she just needs attention. I can feel that she lacks love and attention. We seldom talk to her and visit her. she lives alone. I have a different family. But I do, check on her at least once or twice a week.
@suzzy3 (8362)
2 Feb 09
When I used to work at an old peoples home you had to deal with difficult people everyday.I was the cook and they would not eat anything then you would have to persuade them to eat something,then you had the ones who eat anything you put in front of them,then you had the ones who changed their minds about what they had ordered or could not remember.Then you had the ones that were never happy with anything constant complainers I called them but I was always polite as these people did normally have something wrong with them but awkward you have never seen anything like it,if that was not bad enough you then had the staff having a go as well,I left in the end and retired myself but I did give it two years but in the end it was a thankless task,which I passed on to the next lucky person.
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
that's really hard. I also love cooking. Sometimes, I don't cook very well and it taste really bad. I'm lucky to have a husband who can revise my cooking, and would make the dish taste better. But when I cook and I felt and tasted that its good, and they don't eat. Because they already ate outside with friends. I got mad too. I always tell them to let me know if they are not eating for dinner. Because I will not cook.
@KrauseHome (35034)
• United States
2 Feb 09
It can be quite hard when dealing with stubborn difficult people. I know many times myself when you are wanting one thing for someone, and they continually are wanting something else, or doing something else, it can be hard to get them to see things you way for sure. Sometimes that is when you either have to walk away from the situation for now, or be willing to compromise somehow. But in your situation I can see the focus on concern, and somehow in your Best interest at heart you need to find a way to get her to somehow change her mind and see why she needs to do so instead of continuously fighting or arguing about it feeling you are getting no where as well.