do you spank your child/ren?
February 2, 2009 12:57am CST
when i was still single, i often told myself that i will not spank my kids in the future...but now that i have my own...i couldn't help but to spank and shout at him especially when he's super stubborn....but i feel guilty after that,i still explain to him the reason why i had to...
• United States
2 Feb 09
I have four children and have spanked all but the youngest. The youngest is only 4months and therefore incapable of intentional disobedience. Spanking does not teach children it is OK to hurt others because if done right does not truly hurt the child, just their pride. For me I have to spank them sometimes to make them listen. It is not possible as stated in the other response to win the respect of a two year old really. But spanking will get his attention enough to make him listen to what I tell him. Properly spanking a child islike any form of discipline and is NOT abuse. Any discipline done in anger or out of frustration is abuse. Any discipline can be taken to extremes and made abuse. If the discipline(including spanking) iss done out of love and in a prper manner then you will still win your child's respecct, not fear. I was always spanked as a young child and do not fear th one that did so. But I do greatly respect her and often go to her about raising my children as I feel she is better as a parent than most that I know.
4 Feb 09
When my kids (3 boys) were still very young I made it a point to tell them the house rules, like they should ask permission if they want to go some place to play with other kids, or they have to be in the house not later than 6PM, not to shout back, NEVER to tell a lie, etc. They knew of the consequence of disobedience. But on their first, 2nd,or 3rd disobedience I would just tell them that the next time they do it again, they will be spanked. I think the fear of emminent punishment straightened them out. I did spank my middle child though when he denied going out without permission when in fact I caught him doing exactly that.I was quite creative with disciplining them, it was not spanking always.Like I would not let them in the house for about an hour after they came home late from palying outside witout permission, or letting them have a boxing bout without stopping when they would not stop fighting, or I would seclude myself in my locked room if they do not stop quarelling. But I made it a point to "balance" the punishments with praise for any good behavior, even simple things like putting their laundry in the hamper, or eating properly the food set before them. By the time they were teens until now they have been very sensible, well-liked, well-behaved men.
3 Feb 09
Ao ,i have the same feeling of you.i feel guilty when i spank my dayghter.Generally,she is a sensible girl.But every night she will shout and kick the quilt.when i covered for her,she will kick and cried.every night i need wake up for many times.when she kicked the quilt again and again,i can't help but to spank .when i heard her cry,my heart broken.what did i do?what did i think?i hope i can give her all my love and hope she can understand what i did.
3 Feb 09
yes I do believe there is a time and place for spankings.I have used this form of discipline on my first 4 kids and now on my 5th. I use it as a last resort after everything else eg.. time out and things have been tried. I explain it as a consequence for their behavior.I think the reason should be explained so they don't mistake it for just being struck out of anger or frustration and never spank a child when you are mad ever.
2 Feb 09
I agree with some of the other posts. I was hit on the leg with a slipper as a kid when I was naughty by my father and I turned out fine. If it's reasonable, proportionate & immediately after the event. The explaination should be delivered at the first oppotunity once the child has calmed down followed by a big hug & a kiss. I am not suggesting you hit your kids with a slipper because I'm not but a tap on the hand or thigh with your open hand will only hurt their pride.
• South Africa
2 Feb 09
A friend of mine did some research and the outcome was that one good spanking immediately after the bad deed with some explanation as to why what was done was wrong is very acceptable and effective. Don't go away and come back to spank the child as they will be confused. Never spank without an explanation so that they can learn right and wrong. And, obviously, don't spank too hard.
• United States
2 Feb 09
I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion but people who think spanking is so aweful and anyone that does it is just terrible people quite frankly just get on my nerves. I was spanked. My fience was spanked. Our parents were spanked. We all turned out fine and none of us went around hitting people for fun because we thought it was okay to hurt other people. We knew that what we were doing was wrong and learned from it. My baby isnt old enough to be spanked yet but if I have to spank to get the point across I will do so. I will not beat my kid senseless or anything like that. Some people do over do their spanking. I will give you that. But just because someone spanks their child doesnt make them a bad person.
2 Feb 09
I think it's awful to spank your children! There is NEVER a reason to spank! Why would it be right to hurt another person? Doesn't it spanking tell the child that it is allright to hurt other?! Here in Sweden spanking (or any kind of laying a hand on a child) is forbidden and has been for 30 years or so. I don't believe that I am a worse person than people that got spanked as children. Sadly the few ones I know that got spanked have done much worse than us other. I have never spanked my children - it would never accure to me to do so. You must earn respect to get it. Fear is not tha same as respect.