Pregnant & Scared

United States
November 9, 2006 1:32pm CST
Okay so my boyfriend and I just found out we are pregnant. He has 4 kids (3 of them are biologically his) 3 of the 4 from one mother and the 4th from an ex girlfriend a long time ago that we dont see, the other 3 we have every two weeks. I have 1 of my own from a previous marriage. We have been talking about getting married just haven't done it yet. Now we find out I am pregnant and we are both freaking out. He doesnt think that we can do it & the way he is talking makes me wonder if we are going to make it through this okay. I want to be with him more than I have ever wanted to be with anyone before but I'm afraid of losing him because of this. Does anyone know what I can say to him or what we can do to move over this hurdle?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@Riderfan (319)
• Canada
9 Nov 06
Let him know what you are prepared to do to help get through the situation, be it get your own job or whatever. I was scared because my wife didn't appear to want to work after having the baby. We needed the money. Instead of going back to work, she left me and moved in with her parents. Now she doesn't work and gets to play with my son all day. It's tragic because she didn't talk to me about leaving; she just left. If you didn't want to get pregnant, you should have taken precautions.
@firelight (1859)
• Australia
9 Nov 06
She didn't say whether she took precautions or not, they do fail sometimes :( In either case, it's too late to harp on that now, I'm sure she's more than aware of that.
• United States
9 Nov 06
YOU SOUND HELLA BITTER...RIDERFAN
@firelight (1859)
• Australia
9 Nov 06
If you two are meant to be, you can work through it. Sit him down and talk to him to see how he feels. You can't force someone to do anything, so don't make any decisions regarding your baby to keep him or you may regret it, do what's right for you.
• United States
9 Nov 06
I second your comment, if its ment to be it will be. Do what is right for you and your baby.
• United States
9 Nov 06
Make the choice to combine the living, and move forward to provide for them now. Stop the circle of good and bad choices here. Build something solid now. You can't do that if money is always the root of your struggles with your family, present and future!
• United States
9 Nov 06
dont trip woman...a baby is a blessing....ur going to freak out at first bc its unplanned...its normal...once it sets in u alls head that ur going to have a child...youll be as happy as can be...give him time.
• United States
9 Nov 06
Our baby wasn't planned either. We were already engaged though so the more time we have had to think about it the more excited we are. I know if you try hard enough you'll be able to work it out. Congrats on your little bundle. If he is a real man then he will stick by your decision.
• United States
9 Nov 06
just sit down and tell him your fears..sounds like he cares about his kids since he does see them..so no doubt he will be a good daddy to your baby..you can do it and overcome any thing if you love each other and work through it..its only not possible if you give up ..i am sure money will be tight but hey every penny counts and every penny adds up..start a coin jar now..and you'll be surprized at being able to pull out a couple bucks here and there to buy things you need and hey your here so your making a few extra bucks that way too...good luck hun and congrads on the upcoming baby :)
@pammitch (465)
• Canada
9 Nov 06
Sounds like he's just a big baby maker. Do it for yourself. If you think that you can cope being a single mom if things don't happen to work with you two than have the little one. I'm sure your use to being around kids because he has soo many but theres nothing like having your own little one.
@jncgiza (257)
• United States
9 Nov 06
Well you love each other and that is the most important thing here, and having an child isnt the end of the world. My husband's brother and wife just found out they are going to have a baby also, and they had both stated they never wanted children. Well it was a shock to them both, and she was worried he would leave because she was pregnant, but that isnt going happen. Basicly, yes it is going to be ruff, but thats life, just hang tight and I am sure you and your boyfriend are going to make it through this =) it may be hard, but dont give up
@meeoww (1174)
• United States
9 Nov 06
It can be done. If he needs to get a different job then he needs to do it. Getting married obviously hasn't been of any kind of importance to the two of you, but maybe it will be of benefit now for the health benefits. Or does he really not want to get married. That decision needs to be made or maybe you're just wasting your time. It's not a matter of thinking of whether you can do it. Either you're going to or you're not. If you decide that you can't do it, you only have 2 options. Adopt or abort. Personally, I don't like either one. You just need to set your mind to it, have faith and take care of business. No time for freakin out now. A baby is depending on you.