Do you Rock? (Putting kids to bed)

@glords (2615)
United States
February 6, 2009 2:35pm CST
My son is now 19 months old and I still have to rock him to sleep every day for a nap and every night for bed. He has suffered with many many ear infections, and seems to be constantly ill, so I feel guilty letting him cry. Do you put your child down, or do you rock them to sleep?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I did it both ways. My daughter went down fine without any rocking at all. My son, however, was like yours. He had constant ear infections, and he needed the added reassurance of me rocking him. In addition, since ear infections are more painful when a baby is lying down flat, it eases the pain to hold him. He will outgrow this need, so enjoy it as long as you can.
@glords (2615)
• United States
7 Feb 09
Thanks for the advice. I will try to cherish every second of it. Sometimes it seems pretty hard to appreciate one more chore after a long day, but really it is pretty wonderful!
• United States
9 Feb 09
My daughter came to me with this dependency as well. She was 14 months old when we adopted her and she would not sleep without me in the room. I didn't actually rock her most of the time, as she would wake back up the minute you got up from the rocker (VERY sensitive to movement while she slept). But I would sit with her with my hand on her belly til she went to sleep, and for naps I would lie down on the bed with her. She had been through way too much for me to let her cry it out - she needed the reassurance and security. Some kids just do.
• United States
7 Feb 09
I put my 16 mo old down and he's usually upset but he quiets down within a minute or two. It's when he doesn't quiet down that you know he's not as ready as you thought he was. Now on the otherhand my 6yo is a co-sleeper from heck. So I highly recommend not even starting with laying with them ;) My middle wouldn't fall asleep in her bed we let her konk out on the couch and then move her to her bed, now she stays there part of the night or crawls in with someone else during the night.
@glords (2615)
• United States
7 Feb 09
a co sleeper from heck... that would make a good name for a horror movie. LoL. i appreciate the advice. I think its natural for people to want to be close. I know that i have a hard time sleeping when my hubby is out of town.
• United States
8 Feb 09
Well it started w/ my oldest when I was pg w/ #2 & DH was on nights so I didn't mind & I was too tired to keep fighting her for a decent nights sleep. I liked the company when DH wasn't home but now that she's bigger & #2 follows her into bed theres just no room for everyone.
@Jae2619 (1485)
• United States
7 Feb 09
With my first child, I rocked him until he was about 9 months old and then he learned how to rock himself and he would sit on the couch, or in the bed and just rock himself back and forth until he got tired... and still at 6 he does that from time to time... It's cute in an odd way. My littlest girl, has never been a lover and always hated to be held... I always wanted to hold and cuddle on her but she just never wanted it... She was born early and had other issues from that and hated to hear her cry but she wanted to be left alone... so i'd have to listen to her when it come time for bed... and she's never really been much of a sleeper.. If my son would fit on my lap I'd love to sit rock him, it's relaxing for me. But he's 60 lbs and that's just to heavy for me to be carrying off to bed.... If you feel you need to rock your child, do it... that just more bonding time for the two of you and he will always know that momma's arms are open for him.
@glords (2615)
• United States
7 Feb 09
Yes I agree... I think 30 pounds is getting too heavy to carry to bed. Thanks for your feedback I appreciate your response.
@mrsl2008 (635)
6 Feb 09
Hi, I have a daughter about to turn 1 and I just put her down. She usually falls asleep before she gets to bed as she has recently started walking and its wearing her out. I've never had a problem putting her down although some nights she will cry for a second before dropping off. I will rock her if she ill or she won't settle. I don't think there is anything wrong with you rocking your son to sleep at his age, it's great when they want to be really close to you. You just need to set a limit to how long you will do this for as he may get to used to you doing it and always expect it no matter how old (or big) he gets x
@glords (2615)
• United States
7 Feb 09
That is my concern, and I feel that he is already quite large. He is very tall for his age and weighs about 30 pounds, and I'm worried I won't be able to keep it up much longer. I hope I'm not creating a dependency.
• United States
6 Feb 09
I understand how hard it is to let your child cry. Luckily all of mine have been taught from the first day to go to sleep on their own mostly. I occasionally rock them to sleep while they are very little, I still rock the youngest who is four months sometimes. I think for your sake it is important to start teaching yours to go to sleep on their own considering their age. To start that the best thing is to rock them until they are almost asleep then lay them down and stay close by. If they use a pacifier or a special blankie or something make sure that is with them and let them lay there and fall asleep. They will probably cry some, but just make sure they know you are near and they will go to sleep before too long.
@glords (2615)
• United States
7 Feb 09
Thanks I appreciate the advice. Its very difficult, because he doesn't seem to find comfort in any items besides his mommy. It is also difficult because he is a very sickly child, and its hard to let him cry knowing that he is in pain. I appreciate the tips. I think its a good idea to go gradually.
• United States
6 Feb 09
I loved rocking my children and, like your child, mine also had a lot of ear infections. I rocked mine until they were about two and a half, and then I started with the routines of getting them to learn how to fall asleep on their own. That way, when they got older, bedtime wouldn't be a struggle.
@glords (2615)
• United States
6 Feb 09
I do a routine and then rock... I guess rocking is part of the routine. Bath time, story time, rock time. Perhaps I need to figure out a different routine. Any advice would be appreciated! I'm glad to know that Im not alone. Thanks for the input. YOU ROCK!
• United States
6 Feb 09
My son was easy to put to bed, he just liked to sleep. My daughter however was always fussy, and loved to be rocked. She often fell asleep in her swing. Some kids need that little bit of extra to go to sleep. Sometimes they do need to cry, it really is not bad for them, unless it goes on and on for hours. That is cruel in my opinion. When they are sick they need extra love and care.
@glords (2615)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Thats nice that your son took it easy on you. Thanks for sharing your comments, I think it feels cruel when you let them cry....especially when you know they don't feel good.
• United States
6 Feb 09
I rock my son and rocked my other kids also when they were little. There is nothing wrong with rocking a child. It makes them feel loved and secure.
@glords (2615)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Glad to know I'm not alone. I've had "friends" tell me I'm teaching him bad sleeping habits, and that I'm creating a dependency, but I really feel like he came to me with this dependency, I didn't create it! Thanks for sharing your view points. YOU ROCK!
@my2boys (821)
• United States
6 Feb 09
My son is almost six months old and I rock him to sleep. I rocked my oldest son to sleep for a long time. I dont really remember at what age i stopped. I dont have a rocking chair but i really need to invest in one. It kills my back.
@glords (2615)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Kills mine too, and I do have a chair. I broke my tailbone when he was born, and rocking kills me!!!! OUCH! I'm so glad there are other ROCKERS out there. Thanks for sharing your story. YOU ROCK
• United States
6 Feb 09
Usually I only have to put my daughter down and giver her a pacifier (she's still under a year) and make sure a blanket it touching her face. I will rock her if she is sick or having a hard time falling asleep. Usually it's instant though. If I rock her she usually stirs and wakes back up when I lay her down.
@glords (2615)
• United States
6 Feb 09
you are so lucky. It sound like she is a little angel. Did you have a hard time getting her into this routine, or did it just come naturally?