Today is the 2 year anniversary of my mom's death

United States
February 7, 2009 7:35am CST
As most of my friends know, I'm not speaking of my biological mother. My bio mom is a horrible person, who neglected me as a child, allowed others to abuse me, and as I got older she herself used and abused me. Thankfully as a child I had a back up. Carol, who became my second mother, and I grew to love her more than my real mother. She was the one who always watched out for me and protected me. When my mother let others abuse me, Carol was the one who found out and called the cops. When I was attacked by a dog when I was 2 because my mother wasn't watching me well enough, Carol was the one who brought me to the hospital. Carol always looked out for me and cared about what was best for me. As a teenager my mother was trying to be my friend, my mother bought me cigarettes and drugs, and Carol grounded me and threw the cigarettes and drugs in the toilet. Carol was always there for me, and I loved her for it, even though I didn't appreciate her as much as I should have when I was a teenager. Thankfully as I got older I did come to appreciate all she did for me, and I'm sure she knew that. Carol was a strong woman. She outlived two of her own son's. Both died from Cystic Fibrosis, one when he was 2, the other when he was 30. The latter was my Godfather, which is how Carol came into my life. She had one remaining son who was healthy, and of course me, who she did consider a daughter. She also survived lung cancer, and continued to smoke even though she had half a lung removed, that's Carol for you! She was a fierce animal lover, especially cats. She donated all she could to the local Humaine Society, and always had at least 6 cats in her home, all very well cared for. All in all, she was a wonderful person. She wasn't well off by any means, but she'd give you the shirt off her back if it would help you out. Anytime I needed anything, I knew I could count on her. She even gave me her Walmart credit card to use in emergency situations, which I never did, but for holidays she would give me an amount and tell me I could spend that much money on her card for me, the kids, or hubby. The last time I spoke to her was just a few days before she died. She sent me an e-mail asking if I'd like her to call me on days when schools were closed. She figured if she called, then we could all sleep in. She was always very thoughtful. Two years ago today she suffered a blood clot in the heart which killed her. She was nearly 70 years old. I still miss her terribly. Thank you for letting me share this information about such an important person. Do you have an important date coming up, a rememberance of a loved one or important anniversary? Is there someone you'd like to take time to remember right now? Even if they're still alive, feel free to share.
5 people like this
11 responses
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
8 Feb 09
What a tribute to such a wonderful woman as Carol was. She took you in as her own and made sure that no one would be allowed to get by with hurting you. That is a real parent and you should be very proud of her. She knew that you loved her and I am sure that you will always have a fond memory of her. I miss my grandparents and my dad,but I know that they are in a better place than I am so I try not to think about it in a sad way anymore.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Feb 09
Thanks for your lovely comments. You're very right.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I was so touched by this discussion, Katsmeow. I could just feel your emotions. I decided I would PM you a personal note because it seemed more apropriate for what I wanted to say. I just now realized I never pm'd nor responded to the discussion. What a beautiful way to honor someone that meant as much to you as Carol did. You should your heart and allowed us to see a glimpse of the person responsible for giving you such a good heart. I'm sorry for the sadness you feel at this time. I'm also happy that you were blessed with such a great person to guide you in life. No, there is no one I want to take the time to remember right now......... I think this discussion is perfect being just about your mom ~ Carol.
@jakill (835)
9 Feb 09
This is both a heartrending and heartwarming story. I hope it helped you to write it and share it. As I am now well into my 60s, it is not surprising that I have lost both of my parents. I loved them both and feel blessed because I know they both did the best they could for my sister and I. My dad went first and we bought an entry in the local Book of Remembrance for his birthday. I always tried to get to do the 100 mile drive to the crematorium and see it on that day. Sometimes my sister came with me, although she found it very painful at first. Sometimes I collected my mother and took her as well. After she passed on, sis and I arranged for a memorial seat to both of them on the sea front in the town where they lived. Now we can go and sit on it and talk to them whenever we want, although it's easier for my sister who still live nearby.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
8 Feb 09
There are bloodlines... Your Birth mother is that. Then there are Heartstrings which are stronger because they are the family tied to us not by DNA but by our hearts... that would be your Mom. She would be thankful to know she helped you become the best YOU that you can be. You make her proud being a great you. This post show that about you.
• United States
8 Feb 09
You are so very right. The majority of my family while growing up was made by heartstrings. I knew very little about my bloodlines, and never really cared to.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
8 Feb 09
I just went threw my special rememberance day... My father passed away when I was 6 years old, on January 1st. Gosh, how the years have just went by. It's always hard to be out celebrating the new year, and having the thought of waking up the next morning to find out that another year has went past with out him. I am thankful that my husband understands and let's me have my few momements to take the time to remember him and share a few things about him. Even though I was so young, I still have what few memories I can remember, and the pain is still there, I miss him alot... and then there at times I am mad at the world for taking him from me at such a young age, and not being able to see all the important things that i've accomplished in my life, but I know he's watching out and seeing everything as it's happening in his own way... and probably shaking his head alot of the time going, oh my daughter just didn't do that... Always keep those special moments that you shared with her in your heart and share them with your children, and family so they can know how important she was to you.
• United States
8 Feb 09
I am so glad you found this woman to help you and guide you! You were very lucky to have her in your life! I also have adopted a woman as my second mom and she has been there for me every step of the way. You should feel so blessed for having someone touch your life in the way she did!
• United States
8 Feb 09
I was very lucky, and even luckier that I was able to have a relationship with her again before she passed. See, when I was 16 she and I had a falling out over the way I'd been behaving. I was getting myself in trouble, and she wasn't sure what to do with me, so she sent me back to live with my real mother. She and I had it out, and we didn't speak for 4 years. Then one day I decided it was time to bury the hatchet, and I sent her a card. She returned one, then I just showed up at her house one day. From that moment on we had a great relationship again, minus a few tiffs here and there. But thank God I was able to do that, otherwise I may have never gotten back into her life before she left this earth.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
7 Feb 09
That was very beautiful, katsmeow, thanks for sharing that; it actually made me a little misty. You were very fortunate to have someone like that in your life growing up and most likely wouldn't be the same person without her. I'm glad you are keeping her memory alive.
• United States
7 Feb 09
I know for a fact I wouldn't be who I am today without her. My mother was a horrible surly person. She wanted the world to be handed to her on a silver platter, she never expected to have to lift a finger, and blamed her problems on everyone else. She never changed, not even a little, and if it weren't for Carol, that's how I'd behave today. I also wouldn't know the first thing about raising my own children, and would probably have had them taken away at birth!
• Romania
8 Feb 09
She sounds like a wonderful person and I'm sure the world is a better place because she was in it.
• United States
8 Feb 09
my heart goes out to you dear..
• China
8 Feb 09
i am sad to hear
• Brazil
8 Feb 09
Carol reminds me of my mother that thank God is still alive and close to me. I live with her and she is the strongest woman I´ve ever met. She also loves animals and help them as much as she can. Our house is a kind of hospital cause all sick animals get into here and she takes care of them. Now we have more than 10 cats in our house. Some that came sick and she took care of. And a dog. Also people when in need get here to get help. I am really sorry for you cause I understand how you must miss your mommy. also thank you for sharing this with us. Is so good to read about important things and to have the chance to share our important things also here. Thanks!