"Sometimes I should just... stop... talking"

Canada
February 8, 2009 1:59am CST
Have you ever said that out loud? Or thought it? What I mean by this is...have you ever said something to another person and INSTANTLY regretted it? Sometimes you can tell just by the look on their face that you've hurt them... or angered them. A lot of times, these statements stick with us in our memory and, even worse, we really wish we could take them back. Have you ever wanted to yank back the words coming out of your mouth but you seem to say them anyway? What did you say and to whom? Did it cause a lasting strain in your relationship?
2 responses
• United States
8 Feb 09
Many times. Unfortunately, it comes from my personality: of always trying to say what is on my mind, and what I believe is just. However, I wish sometimes that I did not have this need to be an honest and straightforward person. Sometimes, I wish I could just let my beliefs or emotions, or whatever it is that is causing me to take a stand and say what I desperately need to say, go. It gets me into trouble, that is for sure. Because, I am just not the type of person to get on that "band wagon" that everyone else is on. However, I do try to really not hurt other people's feelings, especially those closest to me. Unfortunately, as you have also stated, sometimes, it just is out there, and I regret it immediately, and just wish that I never said anything to begin with. I don't know if people are just more sensitive these days, or if it is just that I am too jaded. I really hope that with time, either I learn to communicate better socially, or people begin to understand me better, because it puts a significant strain on my relationships when these types of things happen.
• Canada
9 Feb 09
I think it shows good character to be honest and straightforward, though. Granted, you're right that there are a lot of people who can't and don't want to know the truth... but I guess there are times that we can also "coat" the truth in a bit more pallatable cover? I don't advocate deliberately lying or misleading anyone - sometimes I'll say nothing at all, rather than risk offending another person.
• United States
12 Feb 09
Yes. That is something that I am trying to get a hang of. Just not saying anything at all, when I am unsure of what to say, or do not want what I have to say to sound offensive. Unfortunately, for many years, I have a problem always needing to "fill the silence", if there are moments of awkward silence, or pauses, in conversations. Also, I tend to chatter, when I am nervous, or agitated, and that invariably leads to me saying things that I wish I had not said at all. It is slow going, but I hope, that I will be able to get this bad habit out of my system soon.
1 person likes this
@zhuhuifen46 (3487)
• China
8 Feb 09
What a good statement! We learn how to act and react althrough our lifetime. To keep positive relationship, we really have to be aware of the objectives from different perspectives, and control the subjective even in worst cases, to present an optimal part of ourselves.
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Feb 09
Thank you, zhuhuifen! :) You're right that we have to strive to maintain positive relationships and learning how to control statements and impulses, in a more thoughtful give and take, is an integral part of presenting that "optimal part" you mention.