Do you prefer to be alone or with others when feeling down ?

@ronnyb (6119)
Jamaica
February 8, 2009 8:07am CST
I know many persons would say that this is a rhetorical question and that it is always better to be with people as they will help you get over your depression.That is especially true if the persons you are with are extremely lively.However for me its often the peace and quiet that I like as I get to ponder over the problem until I find a handle or some kind of coping mechanism.Maybe it has to do with personality which borders on reclusive and insular at times but many times I cant take too many persons around me ,at least not all the time.In additon to which when I am down ,sometimes the persons around you may sink you into further depression by the things they say . So how do you deal with depression based on the context of this discussion,
19 people like this
95 responses
@savypat (20246)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I generally like to be alone, I don't like to inflict my bad feelings on anyone else. I am not very often down so when I am i like to think it through and find the reason.
2 people like this
@daliaj (5689)
• India
12 Feb 09
I like to go for shopping and walk when I feel depressed. I also like to eat a lot and after that I feel so calm and cool.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
12 Feb 09
Good ideas both walking and shopping are likely to be good destressers,the only thing though with shopping is that you have to ensuer that you dot get addicted to it cause then you would have another thing to add to your depression.Walking has no side effects so that comes highly recommneded
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
8 Feb 09
i reallly don't wnt to be around people when i'm down & out, they get on my nerves. sometimes a telepone call will help me feel better. i guess justknowing somone is thinking about you. i am alone so much of the time that i reaaly don't need to be around anyone unless it's my grandson. he always puts me in a better mood.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
8 Feb 09
I think I can relate to what you are saying ,like you I am alone most of the time and as such I have come to rely on myself and most of the time too people get on my nerves too.I am happy though that you have at least one person that gets you in a better mood .Thank you for responding Antique
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
8 Feb 09
Depends on the perspective of the person ronny. If this person is constantly negative then you will not want to have that person around you. I remember when things were going bad for me and there was a lady who always said to me 'Kerry seven times rise and seven times fall' I used to be upset at this. But now that I have come out of the depression I realized that this is the only way she could have help me and in reality there are times when you will rise and you will fall and it is not the fall that you fall but how you build back up. So you see in every negative reply there is an answer it is just that you cannot see it that way at that time. I prefer to talk about the things that I am going through being around person who will give me words of upliftment. I dislike negatives but I always replay in my mind what persons said to me and take out what I can use.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
8 Feb 09
A lovely answer Kerry .You have really put things in perspective.I too would be upset about this statement and it would take reall maturity to figure out that there is a positive to this statement.I suppose you are right too some people are just way to negative to have around ,they just kill all the inspiration in you
@katsalot1 (1619)
8 Feb 09
I like to be alone, because hopefully I can work out the reason for the depression, and then work on finding an answer, or as you said getting a handle on it. Sometimes it's helpful to talk to people about something completely different - like their problems - without telling them about your own, to help you get your own worries into perspective.
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
8 Feb 09
You made an interesting point that I hadnt consider and that is how talking to other about their problems migh make you see that yours are really nothing at all.But like I said I like to be alone to at least try to work out my problems first before asking for help
@loneleaf (165)
• China
10 Feb 09
Absolutely keep silent. When come on a some unhappy things, I always ge t rid of anythings and anybodys, just keep myself away from the noisy environment, restoring by myself. I would flash all the things happened and find the core of my unhappay, how did it come to this situation and why can i not avoid getting this depression, these are the question I always ask myself. and after I have understood all the details of this bad thing, I would turn my way of thinking, why not be happy, time is still on and everything has gone, be happy
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8357)
9 Feb 09
If I feel sad I like to be on my own to think things through and sort thing out in my mind.Then mix when I am feeling stronger.Most of my friends knows this,but my best friend does not bother to follow the rules and she will turn up no matter what,"I am not leaving you like this so sit down I will make the coffee" so I have learn't to share a bit more as she drags things out of me,I told her she is a witch apparently she can tell by talking to me on the phone.Mind you I am the same with her any body listening would think we were the worst of enemies but it is a nice thing to have somebody like that we say we keep each other sane.I think!!!!!!!
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
9 Feb 09
It depends. Sometimes I get myself busy and work my way out of my sadness and other times I need people around to distract me. If it is something that I need to mentally work out, I am better off alone.
1 person likes this
• China
9 Feb 09
When you feel lost or hurt by something, or depressed or unsecure in your mind, I think this is the very common situation that everyone will meet, but depends on the extent, at this difficult time, I really want to be with friends but some of them will also make you depressed again because some unconscious words will also hurt you as well. This is aboulutely depending on the friends you choose, I also have the same situation as you. feel so unsafe.
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I'm not often down, but when I am, I prefer to be alone. Happy people around me, when I'm down, tend to get of my nerves.
1 person likes this
• South Africa
9 Feb 09
I have to be alone. I can't take being around people. People only know me as happy and lively. I don't like them to see me when I feel down. I do not have any checmical depression but I do get the blues and sometimes they are pretty bad. The last thing I feel like is someone telling me to be positive and 'other people have bigger problems'. This is true but not what you want to hear. A hug helps and just some good comfort food and maybe watching some movies or chilling out. Sometimes keeping busy is good becuase your mind revolves around the negative if you have too much time to think. Hope you feel better! :-)
@scheng1 (24741)
• Singapore
9 Feb 09
Prefer to be alone, like to go for long long walk to cool down and think things over. Walking makes me happy. And when feeling down, prefer to walk alone without feeling the needs to talk or keep the conversation going.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
It really depends on the reason why I am depress. If I feel I need to solve this and the reason is not embarrassing or whatever, I tend to share it with someone who is always open to listen to me. But if it is something that only I can find the solution or I need to think about without distraction, I wallow on my own.
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
16 Feb 09
Yes I agree there are some things that you just have to work out on your own.You may solicit views from your friends but the final decision must lie with you.It cant hurt though to have persons who will listen to you as there are times when no matter how you try somethings are jusy bigger than you .Thank you for answering
@umart13 (841)
• Ireland
9 Feb 09
Hi ronnb, It's a very good question and my answer would be that I withdraw from others, when I need to sort out a problem, which I have probably not sorted out in my head. If the problem is low self-esteem, loneliness/isolation, or simply not having time to enjoy life, then there is nothing better than to go out with your friends and have a drink, go for a walk, or play sport together. It's typical of men that they have to withdraw into their "caves" now and again. A sypathetic partner can recognize this and will give her husband or friend time to mull over his situation, before he re-emerges stronger again.... Have a good week. Umart
@umart13 (841)
• Ireland
9 Feb 09
HI ronnyb, I think I need a new keyboard!
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
9 Feb 09
I think I can ponder for quite some time, if I facing some problem, however, I feel if I share my problem with my near and dear ones, it would be much better to me. Sharing my grief or problem, will give me some new ideas, which my kind cannot think all alone. When more than two minds work on a problem, sometimes, you come out with some practicable and realistic ideas. I also believe that my problem will be viewed from different angle, by the other fellow and he will offer a different prespective to it.
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
9 Feb 09
Pl. read in the first line - "if I am facing........... in the second line - "better for me...... in the third line - 'mind cannot think......... Errors are very much regretted.
• United States
17 Feb 09
I actually like to be alone. It helps me to be able to just read a book or something personal to take my mind off the down feeling. Friends trying to cheer me up can help, but sometimes just makes it worse.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 09
i prefer to be alone when i'm feeling down. usually i will online at this moment to forget all the sadness because the internet will always make me happy (even when i'm happy i online too actually). what IF the internet is down too?! then i will go to sleep. LOL! i just can't take too many people around, maybe yes if all of them have very much same things in common, otherwise one stranger in the group will make me silent the whole time.
• India
17 Feb 09
hi friend, i am like you.....I'd prefer to be alone and think about the problem (and the solution).....to being with lots of people around....and each one pouring in his/her own suggestions. Also, i don't like showing my feeling to others.....especially, if i am depressed....... Anyways, have a nice day..
• Malaysia
16 Feb 09
When I'm down..I prefer being alone. Normally I lock myself in the bathroom and take a bath while I just let my emotions take control of me at that time. After that I calm down..release all my pent up tension in my diary and figure out ways of how to deal with the situation at hand. I also feel that other people can mess up the situation..something that is small can turn to be so big for no reason, that's why I don't trust people with my problems. I learnt how to trust in God and prayer really helps to calm myself down as I would remind myself that I'm not the only one in the world who has problems..and that its not that big anyway... :) Princess
@tjburcham (690)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I think for the most part, I prefer to be by myself until I snap out of it. Then maybe be around some really lively people. I don't really get blue to often, mostly annoyed so I definitly need to be by myself. Do something special just for me like get some sleep, or maybe a long hot bath. Just time for myself, evem if it's hanging clothes out on the line. That's just me, because I am around people all the time that demand alot from me. So I enjoy the little times I get for myself.