Does anyone raise their own children nowdays?

United States
February 9, 2009 1:18am CST
I have two children. A six year old and a four year old. There are really not that many people that I trust my children with. They ar not away from me long and if they are ever away from me I am constanly calling bugging usually my Mom as to if they are okay and so on. I love my kids so much. Since September of 2008, My Mom has watched my son for me and my daughter, the flower girl, to go to a wedding He was probably away from me for about 5 hours. My cousin watched both of them for an hour for me to go to the library and fax some stuff and receive and all that. And the day before we left to come back to New Mexico my Mom watched them for about 6 hours at the most so I could pack and she wanted time with them. And I left them with their Daddy and me and our cousin went to Old Navy an hour away and we were gone like 4 hours. That's it. 16 hours is the absolute most that they have been away from me in the past 4 1/2 months. I know people my age that have 2,3,and even 4 kids and they never have them ever!! So, it just made me wonder. Does anyone really raise their kids anymore?? I understand that there are parents that have to work and all that and that we all need some time apart from them but I always feel as if they are mine that I had them and I am suppose to be the one to raise them. So, is there anyone out there that agrees with me here.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@kiley4 (72)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I understand your point. I and my husband feel the same way. Nowadays, other people are a major influence on children that are not related to them in any way. My son was born prematurely. Since he arrived I don't really leave him with anyone. My husband trusts no one and I'm trying to break out of that shell. From the time that my son came home until now he's only been with a handful of people without me or his father. He stayed with my MIL for a 3-day weekend, while my husband and I finally went on our year late honeymoon. Things did not go as planned and he has yet to be back there without me or his father. Prior to that my MIL watched him for 6 hours when I worked from home and my son was too vocal for my job. Then he was with my husband's cousin who was to stay in the house with me watching him, but after a couple weeks she needed to take my son to her house because she also had her young son to watch. Those incidents were over 13 months ago. I visited my mother this winter and my son stayed with my parents for the first time alone for less than an hour while I and some friends went to pick up another friend to come back to my parents' house. I love my son too much to constantly leave him with someone else. He visits his friends with my supervision especially because he's almost three years old and still learning to comport himself. Who else is going to train my son if I don't? Plus, it's my God-given duty to teach and train my son until he is grown and leaves his mother and his father. I'm not in a rush for that, so I keep him with me for his and my sanity.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 09
Oh yes, Our sanity I almost forgot that one. The day before we left for New Mexico and mine were with my Mom I thought she would surely kill me. I was texting and calling. If my children are not with me I usually do not have any sanity. My cousin that came out here with us laughed at me for like the first month. She has 5 kids and they were all usually at my camper with my 2 because I would not let them stay at hers. Her camper was only like 20 feet from mine and it would have still driven me crazy. Every time her kids would fall or something I would run over and brush them up and love on them and see if they were okay and she would laugh so much. God trusted me enough to give me kids and I feel as if the least I can do to repay Him is to take great loving care of them. I have left them with my SO Mom a few times and that did not go well at all. In 2006 we left them with her at my house and went out to eat a mile up the road. She called and said that she had fell and hit her head. When I got there I come to find out that she had went outside and left my kids in the house by theirself!!!!! She had fallen and hit her head and their was blood all over her shirt. And she broke her collarbone. She is only 87 pounds so she is pretty fragile. She knew better and I have not left my kids with her again. I am not in a rush for mine to grow up either. They are growing way too fast. Thank you. Have a blessed day.
@zhuhuifen46 (3487)
• China
9 Feb 09
In the past, mother stayed home, doing all the home making and raising the children. They made sacrifice and contribution to the family, for the man and the children. As reward, she felt the pleasure and accomplishment. When they are away from us, and stay for some time with our relatives, or baby sitters, it is so natuaral we feel the concern and worry about whatever might happen to the children. But in due time, there might be a day to send the children to preschools. Are we ready for that? Better get mentally prepared in advance. Nowadays, we have social facilities to help raising the children. Children get what is not available at home in preschools. They learn how to behave in a group. These are preparation for school days and also for their whole life. Whatever shortcomings, we have to view them in an overall way, from different perspectives, and in a positive way. In the long run, they need also to learn how to cope with adverse conditions, if any. Another thing you had better get rid of is that the children are not anybody's personal property. For their benefit, you had better provide what is best for them. They are in places out of our sight, but still under care of their nurses and teachers. Enjoy life and enjoy parenting.
• United States
9 Feb 09
Thank you for the response. Have a blessed day.
• United States
11 Feb 09
Thank you lovely Irish. Decided to bite my tounge. I could not have said that better. Thanks. Have a bleesed day.
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
i don't have any children yet at the moment... but when i do have one in the future, i want to be the one who raise them as well if the circumstances let me to do it... i would like to spend as much time as i can with my children to develop the parent-child bonding which i think it is very important especially in their early age... take care and have a nice day...
• United States
11 Feb 09
Yes parent child bonding is so important. Have a blessed day.
@ricknkae (1726)
• United States
9 Feb 09
yes I know what you mean we have NEVER let our son with anyone else than us. He's only 2 and we not trust anyone enough for that ... and he won't stay with anyone else than me or hubby until he can speak correctly so he can "report" things. I don;t think you are weird at all ( I read soem other comments)... if something happens to your kids you will be the only one to have to leave with that So I woudl tell you what I tell every parent who asked me, you have to do what you feel you have to do ... don;t listen to X or Y,,, if you feel that somethin is not right or you don't "feel " it ... go with your instincts If you don't protect your kids noone will
• United States
11 Feb 09
Yes I know what you mean about speaking good and "reporting" things. Thanks for not thinking I am not weird. I really do not care if people think I am weird about it because as you said if something happens to my children I am the one that has to live with it not them. Have a blessed day.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I agree with you I raise my own kids I am a stay at home mom of 5 I dont go out anywhere hardly ever but when I do its either while they are at school, I take them with me or I leave my oldest in charge and I am not gone very long I had a bad experience with a babysitter when my twins were newborns and I have never trusted anyone since then well except for my husband of course LOL
• United States
9 Feb 09
So sorry that you had a bad experience with the babysitter. It is wonderful that you get to stay home with all 5 of them.
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
I personally take care of our only dauther. She is three years old. In fact, i have stopped working since the day I have given birth to my daughter. it took us almost four years before we had a child, so my husband and I decided that I should give her all my time. I'm happy to personally take care of her and she her grow.
• United States
9 Feb 09
It is so wonderful to be able to stay at home with them. And see their every new development. I am glad that you get to stay at home with her. Have a blessed day.
@Ravockz (11)
• Brazil
9 Feb 09
I don't know about where you live, but I have seen some cases that the babysitter spanked the children she was taking care of! It's simply an absurd that nowadays we don't have the time we had to take care of our own children! All our time is turned to get a confortable life for them, and we end up needing to leave them in the hands of a stranger... It's really sad but is the reallity.
• United States
9 Feb 09
You are right. I replied to a discussion that made me think of this, this woman hit a child in daycare and when a girl reported it to management it was overlooked and when she went over the managements head she was looked down on by all her coworkers. They expected her to just overlook it I suppose. That is crazy. Have a blessed day.
@bing28 (3800)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
I was working since I got married. When I got my children, I have to leave them with my maid. My mom however had to come to the house to check on them from time to time. Since our office was near our house, I have to go home during lunch break. My husband, if finds time, also drop by to see the children. When I got widowed however, I have to leave them with my mom from morning till night time. The more I was away from them as I have to work hard. I just feel I'm raising them, when I stopped working, while they have quite stable job already and already grown ups. I attend to their meeds, cook their food. dine out with them on Sundays. Worried much when their not home on time. If I was not able to raise them completely during their chilhood, I'm glad still got the chance of raising them into a more matured responsible children and we're happy taking good care of each other.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I totally understand you having to work. That is a part of meking sure that they have all that they needed. It is great that your Mom watched them so you could make money to take care of them.
@rtslvtwy (1091)
• Malaysia
9 Feb 09
I guess that it's quite difficult to raise our own children full-time in the world we live in today. I would say that mostly are working parents where both the mom and the dad would need to go out and work while leaving the children to be taken care by the babysitter or the grandparents. Unless, you are a work-at-home mom or a full-time housewife, then it would be possible to raise your children by yourself. In fact 1 only have 1 daughter who is 3.5 years old and she goes to school in the morning while me and my wife goes to work, then in the afternoon the babysitter will take care of her and in the evening i will bring her back home and takes care of her.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I totally understand that parents have to work in order to be able to take care of their kids. I am talking about people that just throw their kids off on everyone else All the time to get rid of them. THanks.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I agree with you, but I don't think you got to be all weirdo about it. Yeah you can raise them and think that you do the best job, But one day won't you have to let go? That day will come quick. And if you try to hold on, they themselves will to you to let go. And did't your Mom raise you? Eventually the birds leave the nest.
• United States
9 Feb 09
Not trying to be all weirdo about it. Yes one day I will have to let go. And no my Mom did not raise me. Not everyone was raised by their Mother or Father. My grandmother raised me. She is my next door neighbor. Thanks for the response. Have a blessed day.
@lisa0502 (1726)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
I agree with you as well. I am not always with my kids though. They go to school during the day and sometimes they will go to my moms for the weekend. There are have been times as well that I will go to my moms for the weekend. But I do take care of my kids. There are way too many people out there that do not raise their kids. The one thing that I object to the most is when they have older kids that raise the younger kids. That is not right, they are just kids.
@kaka135 (13425)
• Malaysia
10 Feb 09
I was brought up by my mum, as she's a house wife and she did some tailor work at home, so she was able to raise my siblings and myself. I do not have any kids now, but I'm pregnant and I'll give birth very soon. We have decided to let my mother-in-law take care of my baby, and it'll be about 2 and a half hour drive from where I stay and where my mother-in-law stays. So, we decided to go back to our hometown every week to visit our baby later. I do not feel comfortable for others to take care of my baby, also I do not like to let my baby stays with babysitters or nursery, I think staying with grandparents is still a better choice, as my husband and I still need to go to work every weekday. Also, I think it'll be happier for a kid to grow up in a small town, surrounding with many adults and kids, rather than staying in the big city, and being alone most of the time.
@lynnemg (4540)
• United States
10 Feb 09
When my kids were younger, I had to have a babysitter while I worked, but it was always someone whom I trusted. I am very protected of my kids. Now, I am in th eposiion where I am able to be home with them and work while they are in school. If I do have to work when they are not in school, either mt husband, or his bother is with them, and they all know how to get a hold of me if they need to. When my husband and I are not working, we are with our kids. I think we have spent maybe an hour away from them, aside from work in the last two years. Before that, it was even less. I hate leaving my kids with a babysitter. I agree with you, I had them, it is my job to raise them.
@TnWoman (1896)
• United States
10 Feb 09
hello susan i have two boys that still live at home with me and my hubby. we try our best to raise them the best that we can. and i know what you mean by leaving your children with people that you can trust. about the only people that my children have ever stayed with is my family members, my hubby's family members, or one of their close friend's that they happen to attend school with and have known these certain people for a long time now. it would break my heart to have to get a babysitter for them both and not knowing the person who that i would be leaving my children with for the afternoons. i am lucky with the part-time job that i have, i work from 8:30 a.m. until 2:30 p.m. and that allows me to be back home to get my youngest son off of the school bus in the afternoons. sometimes, i get off work from my part-time job early like i did today, then that gives me lots of extra time to make it home to pick up my boys off of the school bus. take care and have a beautiful evening.