Do You Think Age Gap Could Be A Problem In A Relationship?

@klaudine (3653)
Indonesia
February 9, 2009 5:14am CST
Do you think it could be? My partner and I have 5 years gap and it seemed to be okay until yesterday. We never considered that it would be a problem until we found that it was quite critical and it was really hard to accept that we were wrong all this time. We thought that the age wouldn't be a problem but I am a 24 years woman and when I started to think that I would need to start to settle I begun to see that there would be a problem with this. Was it the age? Or it is the maturity? Or it is something else lying beneath the surface? Have you ever faced the same problem before? How did you handle that?
2 people like this
5 responses
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I guess so. Though this isn't the case with my husband and myself. We have an 8 1/2 year age gap and it has never been an issue for us. And we've been together for the past 17 years (married almost 14 of those years).
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
10 Feb 09
Thank you sacmom, I think your input is really helpful. The age gap between you and your husband must have brought some problems to your relationship. May I know how you both deal with it. Being able to get married for a long time like you would be a very great achievement.
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@sacmom (14336)
• United States
11 Feb 09
No, not really. We've had our share of problems like any other couple, but like I said before the age difference has never been an issue for us.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
I was never really part of a relationship wherein age gap is present but i can tell you this.. My grandfather has a 11 year age gap with my grandmother... and they've been together for 48 years now. Age gap nor maturity in my observations isn't a factor... it's never a factor..I don't want to sound like a priest or an unrealistic romantic but.. if you have that "connection" or that "jive" then go for it.. If each other's smile has the capability of brightening each other's day..that's it go for it. A blind leap of faith sometimes pay off a lot. Like they say in gambling.. Take big risks.. Win hell lots of money.. but you lose big nut what's life without the risks? Then again.. I'm not telling you what you should do.. I'm just saying.. alright? I am absolutely sure that I am not in the right position to be telling you what to do. Coming from a 17 year old haha. I'll end this response with a cliche. "The brain was made above the heart.. but without a heart.. your brain is useless" see you and best wishes to the both of you :)
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
9 Feb 09
My father and my mother has 13 years gap, and I know about it. But the present time relationship has more complicated issues then it used to, jamborie. Wow, you're young but you're surely wiser than I was when I was your age. I never thought that deep back then, but yes you might be right. And I like your quotation, I would try to use my brain and heart to review this problem again. Thank you very much jamborieman
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
youre welcome:) and thank you for the compliment
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
i don't think so. There are lots of people who would agree on what i said that age doesnt matter and its true when you really love the person.
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@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
10 Feb 09
I know that it would not a problem for love but it is a problem for a commitment. What about a commitment? If we are already had different idea of loving someone and have totally different view because of the age gap. I really want to know if it can be solved with brain, not only with love.
@laglen (19783)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Is he 5 years older or younger. men mature slower. A five year age gap starts to not matter around the high 20s and into the thirties. No matter the age, you want to be sure that you are both on the same track. If not, you have these problems.
@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
9 Feb 09
She. She is a girl. And she is 5 years younger than me. And yeah, so it means we have to wait until I came to late 20s so that it would not be a matter for me. LOL. I was trying to know whether we were in the same track or not but it seems to be so hard for me to get the answer for now. She was not reachable for me for now we are in a very bad miscommunication. I hope the problem would be soon finished so we can talk and discuss with logic.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
9 Feb 09
As long as both are legal and the relationship is real I dont see a problem at all..I have dated men as much as 11 yrs older than me and we were together for over 2 yrs.....May/December relationships can be and often are strong long lasting relationships..Maturity is DEFINATELY a HUGE factor IMO far more than actual age is..
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
9 Feb 09
It is legal, of course. How do you know if someone is really mature enough for a relationship or not because it seems too hard to see. She is emotionally unstable but she is financially stable and she is already working though she is younger than me. She has a good future planning, but then again, how can I say that she is mature enough if she is emotionally unstable? So how do we deal with this maturity problem?