How often do you hear your kids say I love you to you?

United States
February 9, 2009 8:50am CST
I always say I love you to my children more than a couple of times a day and in return they tell me I love you even without prodding them to say the word. My niece who visited us felt awkward when my children tells her that they love her because she actually did not grow up saying the word in their house. It felt weird and I pity her that love is not expressed freely in their home. But the children are prodding her to simply say the word and she would be alright. I thought that was cute. Special occasion or not I express my love to my children in words and actions. I have always take good care of them and reassured them of my love by simply telling them how much I love them has helped them become a person I want them to be.
4 people like this
22 responses
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I can relate to your niece. I grew up in a house where we never said I love you. I was raised by my grandparents. They never said it but I always had a roof over my head, I never went to bed hungry. I always had clean clothes to put on, I never knew what it was like for the lights, phone or the water to be turned off, so I knew that they loved me, but they just found it difficult to say I love you. They showed me everyday. I always said when I had my children I would not only show them that I love them but I would also tell them often. In my house it is not strange to hear my kids say I love you on a daily basis or for me to say I love you too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
i agree with you, agrant, that it still feels so very different to be hearing the words 'i love you' being uttered, as against just being implied by taking care of each other. your grandparents are really very loving and caring ones. yet, not hearing them tell you how much they love you, makes you feel a kind of void that needs to be filled. it is good that now, in your household, you have it now well pronounced, uttered loud and clear. to hear those i love yous is really very rest assuring.
• United States
10 Feb 09
I wonder if it has something to do with culture or age because my mom used to say she loves us when we were really very young but as we grow old we felt awkward telling each other about it. Nevertheless as she has done everything to raise us alone I do think she has love us much more than we can imagine even f we rarely hear it when we were already growing up. My niece was raised up by loving parents but just not expressive of their love. It is a good thing agrant that you have been verbal with your kids. iI believe saying this is some kind of support to our family.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
oh yes, i do tell my kids i love them and in return i get this kind of gestures, they tell me they love in return without me asking for them..and i want them to have this way and lifestyle where saying i love you is open and an everyday act that should he cherished and appreciated.
• United States
10 Feb 09
It is good to have an open communication. To be able to express our love in words is not easy but once we are able to teach our kids by modelling it can never really be difficult as we would have thought. Yes, it feels good to be able to say i love you in the open.;-)
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
yes i know what you mean. hearing those words from people we love is a great feeling!
@camomom (7536)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I tell my kids many many times a day and my oldest says it back everytime. My youngest doesn't talk yet. My oldest tells me that she loves me a couple times a day without me saying it first. We hug and kiss each other all the time too. She came up to me the other day and hugged me so tight and said "Mommy, you're my best friend. I love you." She's only 2 1/2 years old. My fiances son is almost 8 years old and he never says it. We have to push him to say it. I think it's because he has only been in our lives since he was 4 years old, part time. Long story, his mom took him from his dad when he was 2 years old. I've heard his mom say that she loves him and he never says it to her either. It's very sad that a child can't express their feelings, even when they are shown how by all the adults involved in their lives. We never said it when I was a kid either but I tell my mom that I love her everytime we talk now. She does the same with me.
• United States
9 Feb 09
Yes, my kids say this word many times a day too. I do have a 16-year old stepson that I have never heard telling his dad that he loves him. I think he did not grow up expressing this words freely. He has been a part of my life for less than two years and it would be hard teach him this word since I also don't want him to interpret it with malice but I do believe he loves us since he shows respect to us. He talks to me like I have been long a part of his life and to my husband's amazement. I am just grateful that we get along well.
@camomom (7536)
• United States
9 Feb 09
His son doesn't like me very much because I'm not his mom. That's ok, he doesn't have to like me. He does have to respect me though. Maybe children with seperated or divorced parents just don't feel it as much and that's why they don't say it. My parents were divorced too and we never said it until we were grown and living on our own. I'm glad you and your stepson get along. That's very important in a family.
@nilanym (184)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
That's very nice. With my family, am also a mother. I also say "I love you" very often to my children. But they are still young as my eldest son is still 3 years old. He thus follow me though whenever I say I love you. He would say, I love you ma.. It makes me very happy. :) My youngest is still 1 year old but still I also show my love to her.
• United States
9 Feb 09
Gentle prodding them will make them remember and help them a lot when they will be a little older. My kids are 6 and 7 and they have already learned say a word that can tickle a mother's heart. This are simple things that money can't buy.;-)
@nilanym (184)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Truly, it thus. My eldest kiss me on my cheeks whenever I'm upset on his bad behavior. Hehehe. It would make me feel better again. Gestures that would fill our hearts with joy.
• Romania
10 Feb 09
I think it's at least one time per day. I grow up in a house where we never said those things. We knew our parents loved us, we just didn't say it. I think that affected my ability to express my feelings and my communication abilities for a very long time. In fact, I don't think I ever said those words to anyone until I met my husband, who is very out in the open and very affectionate. Kinds need to be told "I love you". It's hard for them to judge by our actions, so they plain need to hear it.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Yes, sometimes hearing it is better than showing it especially with kids. They can better understand it better this way. I am sure in some way we get affected when our parents just show it and not say it. It is anyway never too late to be able to express our love to others in words.;-)
@janyen (624)
• Netherlands
10 Feb 09
hi hibiscus_mel, i always tell i love you to my stepson everytime we see each other. it is just every other week that we tend to bond and see each other but the feeling is great!
• United States
10 Feb 09
Hi janyen, how old is your stepson? Mine is 16 and even if I don't tell him that I love do things to make him feel that I do care. He is aware of that and his dad don't even tell him that he loves him that's why I don't bother but I do tell my own kids every day.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I grew up with a lot of love in the house also. My husband passed away when my daughter was only 2 yrs. old and I raised her by myself for most of her first 18 years. We always told each other I love you, hugged one another and gave each other a kiss good night. She is now 36 years old with children of her own and she still gives me a kiss, a hug, and says I love you when ever she comes to visit or we talk on the phone. It was rough raising her by myself and money was not plentiful but I always told her that as long as we had love we were rich as anyone else. I am glad to see that she is doing the same to her kids. It is hard when you are not raised like this to say those three simple words. My partner was not raised in a loving home and it took forever to hear those words come freely and often in return when I said them. I think it is important that children hear I love you when they are growing up.
• United States
10 Feb 09
It is great that you have showed your best to your daughter. I am sure she is much grateful that you have shown her your love in every possible way. I know how hard it could be since I together with other 4 siblings were raised by my widowed mom since I was 5. Love in word and deed can makes us stronger in our struggle for survival.;-)
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
10 Feb 09
I felt really nice when my mother said these magical words to me. In our family we cherish a lot of love do express it in the form of I love you to each other. You should always express your love and there is no issue in saying it to your family members.
• United States
10 Feb 09
If we feel it is so nice to hear such words its a wonder why it is so difficult for others to say it. I can easily say to some people but not to everyone. I think I just really value such word. I do tell my kids and my husband but not my stepson. I think it is because I can rarely hear it that my husband expresses it to his son.
• Singapore
10 Feb 09
well, you teach your children the right stuff.. although people do say that actions speaks louder then words, but as for love, its nothing to be shy or shamed about, just be expressive with it. Love is to be shared!
• United States
10 Feb 09
Exactly right allen.Point well taken, thanks.;-)
@bamrahkirti (1819)
• India
10 Feb 09
My kid is only one year old and he rarely speaks but i would love to hear it from him in future.I do say "i love you" to my hubby several times in a day and he reciprocates .
• United States
10 Feb 09
It would be good to tell your kid how much you love him not only to your husband because he can hear you well and he can remember you as well. He will model this behavior and it will really be easy for him to tell you how much he loves when he will be able to talk.;-)
• South Korea
10 Feb 09
Growing up in a family that is not so expressive in saying i love you is not a hindrance in learning to say it to your own children. I, myself, grew up in a generation of parents who do not say i love you to their children, at least, not as often as I do, now, to my own children. They will express their love in actions by giving them treats or serving them but not actually say "i love you". I think each one has his own way of expressing their love for others although saying i love you is one of the best ways. Some people may think they are not expressing their love if they don't say it. Others may think that "actions speak louder than words". But I want to say that, even if you grew up that way, you can eventually learn to say i love you to your own children if you really want to.You will see how important and beneficial it is to any relationship to say those words as often as possible for them to be assured of your love no matter what happens in their lives.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Expressing our love in words may sometimes be the most abused form of expression yet there are generations who found it the most difficult. It is not a hindrance if we take it as a lesson and a mistake never to be repeated again. While it is true that each one has his own way of expressing love for others yet why do we still long for others to express it in words to us? Because words are powerful tool that they can pierce a heart and a soul.;-)
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
10 Feb 09
My little sweetheart tells me all the time and it makes so very happy! It's a big thing for me because when I was growing up my parents never, ever told me or my sister that they love us, not once! It hurt a great deal at the time and I am sure it contributed to low self esteem issues. My little daughter is 7 and because we tell her all the time that we love her she tells us and it comes very natural which is wonderful to hear. She's very affectionate too, she loves hugs and kisses! She is one of the things that make my heart sing each and every day and she knows it!
• United States
10 Feb 09
My kids tell me all the time how much they love me too. It does tickle my heart since like you I did not grow up with my parents modelling such verbal language. It is cute and adorable that our kids can do such things like hug and kiss us and tell us how much they meant to us.;-)
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I've always been one to tell my kids many times a day that I love them. They always respond with "love you too, mom." And always,always we say "goodnite, I love you" before going to bed or "goodbye, I love you." before leaving the house even if we are not real happy with each other. It has always been that way. I have seen my daughters, especially in their teens, storm out so angry at me and still yell out, "Good bye mom ...I love you." before slamming out the door. A boyfriend witnessed that once and thought it was the funniest thing. I told him that that is how I raised them. You never ever know what could happen and you never want to live with angry words being the last words you ever spoke to someone you love.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Yes, it is important to be able to express our love to our children because they tend to follow well when we model it. It is sweet and good to hear that your kids have shown and tell in return the love.;-)
1 person likes this
@shawnk20 (38)
• United States
10 Feb 09
when i tell my son that i love him or my wife does he always says it back. its kind of a spirit lifter when i'm down or just to express my feelings. i do love my son with all of my heart. for instance when my ex and i broke up than my son was their for me when i felt like crap even when it wasn't my fault. when something like that happened i never blame my son because it's not the child's fault. i guess what im trying to say is that i love my son and he loves me even if it feels like the whole world is agenst you.
• United States
10 Feb 09
Our children inspires us in this life. Yes, for sure it is a spirit lifter and a source of inspiration. As our children take courage from us it is important to show them our best. I did my best in loving my children as well and expressing this has helped them a lot and to me too.;-)
@sbeauty (5870)
• United States
9 Feb 09
My mother has never told me she loves me. I always told my kids, and now my son tells me he loves me all the time (he's 26). My daughter, however, would never tell me that. She's more likely to tell me she hates me -- over some imagined slight or whatever. And she's a grown woman of 29.
• United States
10 Feb 09
I hope all is well in your family. Yes, sometimes as kids grow they will tend to have a thing on their own. I rarely heard my mom telling me she loves me too but I can remember she did when we were really very small kids. I just wonder if she got tired of saying the word.;-)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
hello, hibiscus. this i love you thing is being uttered in our home without limit. early in the morning, as i wake up, i say i love you to my kids plus some hugs and kisses yet. we are so accustomed to doing this. so much so that even in public places, like the mall and the park, we do this without much ado. honestly, i believe that expressing our love openly, makes all the members of the family so very closely knit. no one of us finds any difficulty communicating in terms of the thoughts that comes to mind, or our needs, or the desires of our hearts - like the plans for the futrure and the dreams we hold. yes, it is great to be loved and to love, and greater still it is to feel that love overflowing.
• United States
10 Feb 09
I commend you for being able to express your love to your kids no matter where you are. I think kids can open up if we always show them that parents are people who have feelings too. Yes, it is true that expressing our feelings can help develop close family ties since they are also signs of showing respect and politeness to our loved ones. They are one of the magic words as I should say.;-)
@baileycows (3669)
• United States
9 Feb 09
My daughter does not say it that much at all. I have to pry it out of her. It is very rare. She is just so standoffish. She will usually tell me when she leaves to go somewhere.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I think as children grow older being able to say this word diminishes. I'm not sure but I just hope my children will still be able to tell me how much they love me even wen they grow up.
@laglen (19782)
• United States
9 Feb 09
We say this multiple times per day. I can honestly say that in fourteen years, I have never heard I hate you. This makes me very happy. I have heard my nephews say this to my sister and it breaks my heart.
• United States
9 Feb 09
Believe it or not I have also heard my children say they hate me specially when I don't give them what they want. I don't actually find this wrong since I see that they are just trying to express their true feelings. Sometimes it hurts me when they say this but I think it is not bad to be able to teach them to verbally express how they feel so we can better understand them. As long as they are not saying words that curses I am fine with that. ;-)
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I tell my children that I love them every day. My one son who doesn't live here I tell every time I speak to him. In return, they always say it to me too. It can be awkward for someone who hasn't been brought up in a family that expresses their feelings to each other. I think it is great that your children tell their cousin that they love her. She shouldn't feel the need to say it back, just show them in her actions if that makes her feel more comfortable.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I have seen the difference of children who can express their feelings of love to people they truly care. Yes, I think it is a good thing that they are also sharing their love to their cousin even if I did not tell them to tell it to her. She is very nice to her and I never heard them demanding that she should say it back. I found it funny that children are teaching and adult how to express a feeling verbally.
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
9 Feb 09
One of my children tells me often she loves me and I love to hear it. I tell her a lot also. As for the rest of my children, I hear it but not always often enough. I think it is important for us to verbalize our feelings. Then there is less misunderstanding.
• United States
9 Feb 09
It is very true because sometimes when we don't tell them they will think we really don't care about them. I grew up feeling awkward of telling my mom how much I love her because she actually did not teach us how to verbalize our feelings.