Have you EVER had this talk....

@Jae2619 (1484)
United States
February 9, 2009 11:42am CST
As my husband and I were laying in bed the other night we were talking about hypothectitical situations that could come true some day . We were talking about odd things and I asked... So out of my friends who do you find the most attractive? He responded. So I asked...If I was to die would you, or could you see yourself dating that person, or sharing your life with them? He answered and then returned the question to me. Have you ever had this type of disscusion with your husband or wife? Was you shocked at their answers?
2 people like this
4 responses
@thezone (9451)
• Ireland
15 Feb 09
That is one disscussion I have never had with my partner. Its a very interesting one though. I don't know how I would feel by her response or her mine. But it does have me thinking.
1 person likes this
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Do you think her answers would upset or shock you?
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@thezone (9451)
• Ireland
16 Feb 09
I have a pretty open mind and sometimes unshockable. But I don't know how I would feel hearing someone that I am so close to say those things. It is something I might bring up as a subject of converstation with her as I would be curious. On the other hand if something was ever to happen to me I would like to know that there would be someone who I trust to look after her when I am gone.
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@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
18 Feb 09
We always think of the what if's and our answers are usually what we are already thinking anyways, so it's not a shock. I do have one friend whom he's mentioned a few times, that if anything was to happy to me, and they hooked up, it would be fine, because I know she would be good to my kids and take care of him.
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@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
my wife asked this to me before already and i answered it but she was not shocked. lucky her that i dont have friends that much and mostly of my friends are her friends that just became my friends. there are a lot of things thta we talked about and answered questions like this but all we did was laugh at our own responses. i even told her that if she would die i wont date any of her friends that would be uncomfortable to me i am sure and to her friend as well. maybe we can go out and talk but to go out as a date i dont think so. what was your husbands response? is it shocking? har har har
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@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Nah, I had already a few names in mind when I asked him. He told me who he found attractive and told me why and if I was to die, if they hit it off that would be fine with me. We have talks like that all the time, never know what you might learn and it does help with the what if's if something does happen like that.
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
it is nice to hear that you are open minded on what ifs like that. and the response of your husband does not shock you at all. more woman are not open to topics like that. some even will ask silly questions then when the husband answer, then the answer is something that the wife does not expect then thet will end in a quarrel. my wife has friends who has problems like that. some women just ask things like that and when their husband is just being honest they will start i fight. your husband is lucky to have you as a wife and i am lucky too for having a wife like mine.
1 person likes this
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
16 Feb 09
My husband and I are open about alot of things. Why should you keep things hidden, it only causes problems, if it's out in the open it can be talked about and you can come to compromise. There are alot of my husbands buddies wifes that hate it when their husband's eyes wonder... I don't care, there are many times I point out the girls for my husband to look at lol...
@AXLAERO (426)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
yes we always had a conversation like this before going to bed...he will answer no.but even he denies it,i know that if i will die,he will still find and date with other girls.even now that im still alive,,he still do that ha ha ha.he also asked me if he will die,if im going to have a reltionship with other guy.i just answered no.lol.
1 person likes this
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I would want my husband happy if anything ever happened to him, and if he found that happiness with a friend of mine then that's great. I wouldn't hold no grudges with him. We have open and honests talks like this from time to time, because I want to know, lol. Thanks for posting.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I do have conversations like this with my husband from time to time and of course they are just hypothetical. I know that if something would happen to one of us then we would need to continue on our lives and have to do the best for our child. Sometimes we discuss what would happen if we were to ever break up and get a divorce. We don't want that to happen but this is all just hypothetical like mentioned above. We both agree that we would share custody of our son and not have any ugliness along the way. That is the type of relationship that we have. We love each other and our son very much and want the best for him. My husband also believes that it would be alright to carry on without him in case something were to happen to him. However I am not sure if I really want to find anyone else after something happened to my husband. I guess there are certain subjects that we bring up to each other that I just hope we are not going to be faced with these decisions.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
9 Feb 09
We have talks like that all the time as well, it's because we are open and honest with each other and that is what keeps us going. Thanks for sharing.