dreams over family?

Philippines
February 10, 2009 9:04am CST
well.. i just exaggerated that..what i really mean is that, i am disobeying my family so i could do the things i want to do..i became an active student since i became part of our university's student council..i became busy with our work and i sometimes go home late..now, they don't want me to continue being a student-leader..they just want me to really focus on my studies..i give priorities to my studies..that's the very reason why i am enrolled..but i don't want to box myself just in that situation..i know somehow i have the potential and i don't want to waste it..i want to explore life.. well, i don't know how to make this a discussion but i will deeply appreciate if you'll share your thoughts, experiences or whatever about this matter.. tnx..
6 people like this
12 responses
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
it will be difficult for the members of your family to understand that you are spending late nights outside of home because, of those extracurricular activities at school. parents will always see the hours needed to be spent in school then, the starting hours for classes and the last hours that you have to be in school, too, are noted. thus on a spectific hour you are expected to be home, judith. although i had been a very active student myself, moreso during my college years, i can still understand why parents worry over their children coming in too late from school. the way life goes these days, they are so worrisome. this happened to me too, when my kids were still attending school. if they are late in coming home, i worry if something or anything undersirable has happened to them. there is a need for you to communicate with your parents, judith. explain to them what is eating up your time. they need to know why you are out there. as for them to be worrying, erase that by making simple calls, short ones will do. no, texting will not pacify them. you have to call first. text messages may be the option for further messages after a call was done. always remember to treat your parents with love and respect.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
well, i admit i have some shortcomings..i think i should take your advice..tnx a lot..
1 person likes this
• India
11 Feb 09
Since last year.. I have learned to cope up with the bitterness in my family now. I have to avoid my parents when they are angry. AS earlier I used to tell my parents about where I am going and when I will return.. Now prefer to just get out and listen to their yelling after wards after I have actually enjoyed the party. If I am gonna get yelled at any way, then why not enjoy the party first and then get yelled at.. And they have seen my college report.. it is pathetic(They knew I studied hard) so now they know that they can Not force me to do just any of the courses but my own choice. With family like this you need to learn to manipulate people.. Although I do not want to lie to them at all but they leave me no choice. Thanks for sharing your view with me!! I hope with this response of mine you do not find me a spoiled girl.
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
11 Feb 09
Parents (most of them) have this slogan on there forehead .."Grow up and start earning!!" I don't believe this.. of course they have some dreams of their own that they want their Children to make it true for them. I am not saying that parents are selfish. It is just that they are under such pressure and so tired that they can only think of that their child should have better life than ours and double the money than they have.Yes in this way or that way they want what best for us. So that we may live happily ever after.. but they forget to figure what does exactly make us happy. Earning more and more money, getting the worlds handsome and rich groom(or bride), Big mansions and ... and what.. nothing else is more important to waste our time on!! My father never really cared about whether I have good friends around me or not, he never took pain to know about them, and so am not allowed to go out with any of my friends.. so that I may not end up getting pregnant or something easy solution to it-do not allow the girl out at all. Home to college and college to home.. My bend is much more towards creativity and art. But careers in this field takes lot of struggle and still not many of them gets success. So easy solution- Do not listen to the girl and send her to do engineering and computer hons. I admit here that I was myself not very clear about my likes in career aspects. That's because no body ever cared about letting me out and know the about the world and opportunities out there. I was zero in common sense. This is what happens when some is locked inside and then told to choose one career for her. How can I do that unless and until I don't know anything about them. I can't read magazines. How do you choose to do things in your life, by knowing other's life.. getting out in world and finding out what your really want!!just like what Lord Buddha did... He had to get out of his castle to find out what he actually wanted to do in his life!! You cannot find things inside four walls. No I am doing very bad in my college studies. I do not want to continue in that course and I can't either. My priorities are more of work satisfaction than money I know life is not that easy to live in your fairy tales, but it doesn't mean that parents should crush them under their feet to acquire worldly possessions. I call dare to dream!! I find myself very lonely without a single friend around me, obviously because I was never around them!! I don't understand how can a mother(and father) get happy by marrying their only daughter to an unknown person. My mother still says that she will be the one who will find my groom and a bride for my brother.. I don't understand what satisfaction dose she get by doing that.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
for you, stella, i tell you this: dare to dream and have the courage to pursue it. work on a course now that you believe will make you financially stable. then, once you get a job of your own, work in a place far from where your parents are. there, you can no longer feel their clutches as, you will have to find a place to rent near your workplace. go ahead, stella, it will only be good to marry the person the parents like if you like him, too. otherwise, you have to shelve their proposal for good. i can sense so much bitterness in your tone, i just hope that i have managed to shed some light on your thoughts, given you the little strength you need in order to keep on with life. fight, dear little princess, fight for your rightful place in this world.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
wow..what can i say?..i guess you're in a much complicated situation than i am..well..as you've said, dare to dream..i don't want to regret in the end for not doing the things i've wanted to..i don't know how to help you but i hope i could..well...tnx a lot for sharing..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
Hello judith1123, Yes.. I truly agree with you. If you have the potential then enhance and use it. Actually you're good you are using it the right way. =) My parents are like that too, they always say "STUDY FIRST. STUDY" of course I do follow them, I cannot do anything because they pay all the fees and stuff at school. You can explain to your parents your side. Just relax and tell them that you can balance your activities and studies. You know, lower your pride and everything. Parents will always listen to their daughters/sons.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
i tried to explain to them but they don't just believe me..i always tell them that i won't forsake my studies, but still they don't want me to get involved in the council.. anyway,,tnx a lot for the response..=)
@laglen (19780)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I think that you are on the right track. As long as it is not affecting your studies. I am sorry that your family does not support you in this. The student government involvement will help you later.
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
well..yes...i am learning a lot from being a student leader..things that i won't learn just inside the classroom.. anyway, tnx for the response..i appreciate it..
@rainzero (505)
10 Feb 09
parents are always there to guide you, advise. well even at my age (28) my mom still advise me, admonish me on something wrong. it sucks honestly. i mean you cant decide on your own, you cant do things that you wanted to do. but instead of being repulsive, i took it as a challenge, i studied hard earned enough of their trust. still, not enough, i guess parents are just like that. so i decide to draw a thin line between being their child and being a man with aspirations. sad to say, i want to pursue my dreams, so i prioritize more on my career building.. filipinos tend to value close family ties which is totally conservative trait. its not that we have to disregard it, but times like this, especially during the height of recession. we should learn how to help ourselves before helping other people. giving up your dream because of family is just as lame as it could be...you should be striving hard for your dreams because of family...now that makes the difference.
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
you're right..they are my inspirations in reaching my dreams..it's just that, they don't support me that's why i feel bad..they just can't see things that i could do.. tnx a lot for the response..i appreciate it..a lot..=)
@rainzero (505)
10 Feb 09
or better yet think why they are doing that to you. just dont see things on one end...better be more open minded ^_^
@mjmlagat (3171)
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
Hello there! It's but normal that a youngster like you is so idealistic in life, I've been there believe me. There's nothing wrong at it for as long as you know your priorities in life. I was also like you--very active in so many school activities and organizations but when I noticed my grades were falling down fast, I quit. They're affecting my studies--my number one priority then. Good luck, just manage your time well and know your priorities in life.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
well,,tnx for that..i'll always prioritize my studies..
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
I know how you feel. Since childhood, I always want to do things on my own. I want to do a lot of things but I cannot because of my parents. They do not allow me to go out with friends even if I know I could take care of myself. They did not give me the chance to attend summer lessons. Now, I really regret why I did not follow my heart. i am so busy with my work and no longer have time to do it. I wish I could turn back time and fight for the things I want to do so i would not feel bad about myself. I feel bad because I think I did not learn that much during my early days.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
yes,..i dont want to regret the things i should have done while im still young..tnx for that..
• United States
11 Feb 09
Sometimes, sadly, the things that you want and need have to come first. You are doing very well in school, and you seem to have a lot going for you. I am sure that your family will forgive you for trying to have a future.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
tnx for that..
@nzalheart (2352)
• India
10 Feb 09
Only studying does not build career. Leadership is the most thing. Being the leader of students, oh that is the great great leadership. Keep it up! But side by side we should also go on good with our studies. Sometimes it happens that we get lot of work and unable to give time to our studies. What your parents meant is this thing. Parents are always worried, and we have to be happy in this. If our parents are not worried, then we should be sad that they don't care you.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
yes you are right..i am thankful for that..
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
As long as its not effecting your studies or life and attitude towards others, I think you should be making the decisions for yourself. Guidance from parents is a great thing and sometimes needed no matter how old we are. I dont think you enrolled just to be involved in student activities. That wouldnt make sense and the fact that you are involved, shows a dedication to your school.Learning confidence and how to be a leader is a very positive attribute. Have your parents told you why they want you to back down from student council? Maybe you could ask why if your studies are good and staying out later isnt over tiring you or making mood swings. Maybe there is some other reason they are looking at that you dont see. Ask nicely for an explanation. If you can handle it all, then I dont see why not but I am not your parents and dont know why they think that way.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
well, it is hard being a student leader but i want to be one so i think i can take the responsibilities..i guess my parents are just worried that i won't devote time in my studies.. tnx a lot for the encouragement..i so appreciate it..
@KrauseHome (35507)
• United States
10 Feb 09
Personally I see nothing wrong with what you are doing or wanting to do as long as you are taking time for your studies as well. Personally what you are doing could really end up helping in the Long run for whatever career or goal you are wanting to do in life, and your family needs to be more open and understand this. Maybe you need to talk to them, and show them how important this is for you, and in time they will come to appreciate and understand this, and only want what is your Best interest as well.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
yes..you're right..i need to tell them..but i.m just scared to do so,, anyway tnx a lot for the response..
@djemba (767)
• India
10 Feb 09
I think you're on the right track judith1123 because it'll help you realize your potential..Don't give it up,give your dreams a chance but make sure it doesn't affect your studies..
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
tnx for that encouragement..