Do you think it is possible not to have friends in mylot?

@zandi458 (27954)
Malaysia
February 10, 2009 11:34pm CST
I started a discussions lately something about approving friends request.The discussion managed to reach the box-office (today's digest) and the responses I got was very encouraging. But what comes as a surprise to me is someone here who responded saying that she does not need to request for friends in mylot neither does she wants to approve friends request. I was taken back with her admission that keep me thinking she must be an anti-social woman and her very presence here in mylot does not serve the whole purpose of being in a social networking site if she feels friends are a'nuisance' to her. I checked her profile and sure enough there is no single soul there. She is a loner! I have been here for years and feel that to be effective here we all need friends to give us support in our discussions. Without which our discussions are doomed as it will not be exposed longer on the screen and surely die a natural death if it doesn't get responses from anyone. The next discussion you post will also meet the same fate - no response. So with no friends how are we going to exist here longer? Miracles just doesn't happen if we are reserved and feel the world is limited to ourself only. It is really demoralizing to post a discussion and do not get any responses. At the end of the day a loner will exit mylot door lonely and dejected as when she first joined in. We should come in as a loner and leave with a baggage full of friendships then it will be more meaningful, right? What is your thought of this friendships in mylot?
13 people like this
25 responses
@dpk262006 (54732)
• Delhi, India
11 Feb 09
Zandi! It is quite stunning and amazing to me that there is a member on a social net working site, i.e. mylot, who can make do without friends. Like you, I also fail to understand her 'philosphy' of life. I fully buy your argument that without friends, our discussions are doomed and we can not get sufficient number of responses, without the contribution of our dear friends. It is actually a two way traffic, if we keep participating in our friends' discussion, they keep reciprocating us, as and when they find time to respond. I remember, when I started here, I had no friends. I would send request to many, but more than 2/3rd were rejected. Few senior members added me but out of them very few would participate in my discussions. I would get very few responses to my discussions which made me feel very dejected and disappointed. Thereafer, in one of the discussions, I read that more number of friends would help me fetch more number of responses. I started adding more members in my list of friends and started participating in their discussions, wherever and whenever I could. Consequently, some of them also started supporting me in my discussions regularly and thereafer I never looked back. As on date I keep receiving requests for add and accept the request if the profile of the member appeals me. On the other hand, even today, if I find a member's post interesting and thought provoking, I do not mind sending her/him a request for add. Friends are very important on mylot and without some serious and active friends, we just cannot survive here. I keep interacting with my friends and in the process I learn a lot from them and widen my sphere of knowledge and exerience. For me, my friends here are my more than my friends, philosphers and guides. You being one of them. An Excellent Post!
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Well, this is the scenario you are in before and now. You have indeed explained well here. Thanks dpk, for considering my humble self as your motivator. I find you a good debater and quite versatile on various subjects. You have emerged a winner to the end with your serious and humorous responses which I treasured most. Keep up and sure you will be hunted by many like minded friends here.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (54732)
• Delhi, India
12 Feb 09
Zandi! You are great!!! Need I say that your remarks about ME makes me feel elated and flattered. I hope even if I do not say so - you would understand my 'reactions & feelings' on your wonderful and positive comments about me.........LOL! Indeed, you are a motivator, without an iota of doubt, as far as I am concerned. I am not sure, whether I'll be hunted by other like minded friends........LOL! If this job is to be done by me too, I do not mind huting like minded friends, instead of they hunting me........!!!!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
dpk, as a man you should be the hunter and not be hunted! You get what I mean. This might be out of text in this post but something to ponder and a little smile for a jovial man.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I had one friend here when I joined and that was the one that invited me to join. Now dont think I have invited any to be my friend but I do have many for they asked me!. I didnt think I was anti social. I was being very lerry. still am as I still when someone request me to be friends I still go to thier profile see what they post about and if any of my friends are on their list of friends. sometimes I try them out any how just to see. every onre I have accepted have turned out to be good friends and then some are very dear friends!
4 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
I think you have good judgement and you are able to come up with the right kind of friends here.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
12 Feb 09
yes I have picked wisely!
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
11 Feb 09
Of Course I do agree fully with you zandi.....Without friends a person's tenure in mylot will definitely have an unnatural and abrupt ending.It is in fact our set of friends who respond to our discussions,make them interesting,give us their ratings,and boost us to start new discussions and comment to theirs. But about this friend of yours,I guess its not right to jump to any conclusions about her.Perhaps she is new to this site and may have joined this site for the sake of making some easy money,as most of us did at the time of joining......she may not have understood the nuances of mylot where making and maintaining friendship is the very basis of mylotting.Perhaps she must be under the false notion that making friends is a waste of time and will keep her away from discussions,and thus hinder her earnings.......Perhaps she needs some guidance and advise,Zandi?
4 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
I told you she has no friends and she just pop in to give her response to one of my discussion which I am very thankful as she had put an effort to come to my post and revealed her thoughts. I was trying to look for her response just now but couldn't trace it. I just can't remember what I have told her cos my very first impression was she is a 'reserve' woman and do not want to be told what to do. I hope she learn something as she progresses here.
1 person likes this
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
13 Feb 09
well zandi if you cannot trace her where abouts,then leave it.I thought she was perhaps some lonely soul who needed help...Who knows perhaps she has already quit mylot.....
1 person likes this
@Hvaniday1 (550)
• Malaysia
11 Feb 09
I think you are right without friend how are going to survive especially in this world but there are some who are more preferred lonely we just can't help. She much happier to live life lonely, what to do? Happy Mylotting.
4 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
What to do but to respect their wishes.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I think she can make it work for her here. There are other ways to find discussions. Maybe she is afraid to run into privacy issues or something.
4 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Quite puzzling but as a newbie she may need to learn more what friendship in mylot means.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
11 Feb 09
the whole point of mylotting is to make friends.i think that gives some amount of motivation,mylotting becomes lively only when friends give their inputs,you cannot live thr life without friends especially mylotting without friends is not possible.
4 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
I totally agree with you riya. Being seasoned players here we know the strength of this site and in order to be known you need to know others too. Making friends should be the main criteria to get us moving fast.
@Dday50627 (362)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I have to wonder what has happened in a persons life that they would be so closed off. Even myself, with the issues I deal with and live with daily know in my heart that I would not be where I am today in healing if not for friends both Offline and On line. I wont say that I welcome friends with open arms or go out of my way to bring them to me but I do enjoy when someone thinks enough of me to want to be my friend. What you say is so true my dear friend. To be in a social network is for the purpose of being "Social." If not, what purpose does it serve you or anyone else. I wonder again what takes a person so far out of connection that they feel THEY have something to say or share but do not wish for the same to be reciprocted. What a lonely place to be. Perhaps one, this person will realize that friends are not there just because you need them nor they need you. They are there because they choose to be and because Socializing is what makes everything in the world function. Without it, there is simply You...
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Hi Darrel,Socializing is one of the basic need of human life. I couldn't imagine living without friends around especially when sorrows and sadness come. It is times like these that life seems unbearable and the presence of family and friends are most needed. They are there to give you words of comfort and to wipe away your tears. Nobody has ever ended his eyesight by looking on the bright side of friendships. Friendliness has the power to open doors, but it takes character to keep them open. So the time to make friends is before you need them.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 09
You could not be more correct. perfectly said... Hugsssss my friend... Always, Darrel
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
13 Feb 09
@bombshell (11268)
• Germany
11 Feb 09
she has the point zandi since mylot is open discussion.my porpose of adding a friend here is sometimes you can send a private message or to updated the discussions and i love to leave apic comments i enjoy that much too.thats my point.and what i have in my list are very nice to me.some not but i need to clean it soon if i have time.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Oh bombshell you are one of the most interesting friend I have here. Let this remain forever, will you?
@bombshell (11268)
• Germany
12 Feb 09
of course zandi we keep our frindship.i did´nt see you but i can picture out how nice you are too!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Bomb my basket is getting heavier now!
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
11 Feb 09
First I must say that I find people online and off are exactly the same. I feel it is impossible to keep up a charade online for long. Therefore if a person has no friends online, and in particular here on myLot, then I guess that is the case offline too. MyLot is like one big family and I personally find it impossible not to become involved in the discussions and the users' problems and other users' ways of thinking on those problems. What I read inspires me to be drawn towards some users and these then become friends. I could not just sit back and read the discussions and remain completely passive especially after being here for so long. Just like offline I have many friends here and some are closer than others sharing more intimate things that happen in our lives. I just could not be here and not make friends as that would involve putting up some kind of barries and there would be no point in being here in the first place, at least for me. I am drawn towards some even when they first join and almost immediately after they start taking part. I would worry about a user like the one you describe but I doubt I could help in any way as sadly, just like offline, those people think they are happy the way they are and don't realise what they are missing.
3 people like this
• United States
12 Feb 09
What you said is the absolute truth, what is the sense of interacting with our fellow human beings if we cannot feel their pain and joy. This site has inspired me to be the best person that I can possibly be, I am happy and proud to have you as my friend, and many other people from around this beautiful world.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Of course without friends here we are almost handicap in our activities as it won't be smooth running, it requires the support of friends to make it possible. Not that it cannot be done but we know it is going to be slow and this might demotivate them if they receive lukewarm response to their post. But again this is an individual preference and we can't do much about that but let them rule their own world if they defy the advice of the more senior members here.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
12 Feb 09
I could not imagine being without sharing powermannx. There is no need to go into personal details but just to be sincere and those are the ones that get the best out of it here. Good to see you once in a while Friends make our world go round offline too zandi Here is no different at all and that's what makes it so compelling to be here!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
11 Feb 09
i enjoy all the friends i have made at mylot[ well , let me say most of them,lol.] i can't imagine anyone who is like the lady u are talking about being on mylot to start with. wonder what she gets out of it?to each his own, i guess.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Like you I do enjoy my stay here and the friends I made has become my treasured friends more than my physical friends as I spend more time in the net than outside in the real world. Maybe she is sceptical of befriending online friends as there are so much rumours circulating about the danger of having online friends. It is entirely up to individual to weight the truthfulness of friends they meet online.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
12 Feb 09
you sound like me, zandi. i also treasure my friends on mylot . talk to them more than i do anyone.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
11 Feb 09
Hi Zandi! I couldn't agree more. We're born into this world as a member of a family. Over time we lose them, we get married and have kids, who ultimately leave us too, to have their own lives and families. Throughtout life, we meet people who even for a fleeting moment share a common spirit with us and become our friends. Our lives are so enriched by the family of friends that we make for ourselves, whether they are our neighbors or online. Someday when my time comes to move on, I would rather leave a roomful of friends who wonder where I went, than to exit from an empty room and not be missed.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Team work is important here. And your philosophy is good.leave a roomful of friends who wonder where I went, than to exit from an empty room and not be missed.
1 person likes this
• China
11 Feb 09
Hi, zandi458. i just come to Mylot this week, and i do believe it will help me find some friends to enrich our life. so i think the loner you've met must be a very particular case. that is a question, if she has no intention of developing any friendship, why did she come?
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Hi dinglover, welcome to mylot. I am sure you will progress well here as I see you are open to friendships. That is my main question, why did she join mylot in the first place? Let her stay put in her dreamland as we can't make her change her mind.
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
11 Feb 09
Hi zandi! I just don't understand how you can participate in mylot and not have any friends! That is the whole purpose to me of being here! I have met so many wonderful people and made some great friends that I speak to every day both on here and off the Lot as well! There are people here that I have grown very close to and can't imagine not having them in my life! So I can't imagine not having friendships here. It just wouldn't make any sense!
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
You know how beautiful it is to be here when you have found friends that inspires you. And I did!
@savypat (20248)
• United States
11 Feb 09
This just makes me sad, maybe she has heard some of the bad experiences others have had with friends/ Did you send her a message?
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
I think so she must have bad experiences with online friends. I can't send her message as she is not in my friends list. Remember she is a loner.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20248)
• United States
12 Feb 09
If you can go to her profile can't you send a message PM. I thought you could?
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
No you can't unless she is in your friends list.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (33371)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Wow!! Someone who is active in here and does not want Friends? That is quite unusual for sure, and I wonder then why are they in here? Personally I enjoy my time in here, and Love to meet and interact with others from all over the world. I have met many wonderful people and find it a pleasure to be here as well.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Feb 09
I could not agree with you more, what is the sense of being here if you do not forge everlasting friendships. If anyone feels this way - they need to move and live on a island by their lonesome for one year, and just maybe they will change their outlook on life.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
That is one of the main purpose to be here to interact with people all over the world and not having any friends will defeat the whole purpose of being here.
@VorTy01 (36)
• Romania
11 Feb 09
Well i have only one thing to say... I wish my friends could have a conversation like I see here on myLot. I wish they could say more smart stuff, like many ppl do here. So to answer your question, nah, impossible :D
2 people like this
• United States
12 Feb 09
Couldn't agree more, excellent observation.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
It is up to you to select which discussion you think fits you. Some people go easy here just to pass their time and some to earn some money. Whatever it is you do still friends support to make the impossible possible.
• United States
11 Feb 09
Well, none of my friends on here, are actually considered friends, in a way they are just a collection of faces because I don't actually talk to them. I don't mean to sound anti-social, but it is the truth. I am not lonely on here, I get to respond to others and interact with them, without having any obligations to them. She is probably the same way as myself in that aspect. Not all people need to have friends here, all people are different and they enjoy things in different ways. Just because you think you could not exist here happily does not mean she can't, nor I for the matter.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
But you do have lists of friends in your profile. At least you still consider them as your mylot partners who are the first to see your discussions when you post. So technically they are your friends in mylot world.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18637)
• Jamaica
11 Feb 09
I am treasuring the friends that I have made on Mylot. I started last October and have met so many wonderful people. We do need friends and the friendship can become close and wonderful. You get to know the character of the person and it is also important to respond to as many friends as you can. I have to admit that I did post one discussion that was not answered by anyone. But that happened early in Mylot but it was embarrassing. Some people like to respond to their friends and not post very often but others do both. If a person has posted 5 or 6 discussions in one day I find that to be intimidating. So I choose to answer just one or two of their posts. Some posts are technical and I do not have the expertise to answer those kind! I would regard myself as a very social and outgoing person and like to make friends of all ages.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Hi cynthiann, you are doing well here. I think with your outgoing personality you have made many good friends. That explains your success here. Well, not all discussions started by our friends can relate to us and let that be left to others to response. Like you I treasure all my friends here.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
I guess that girl doesn't belong here. In the first place, why is she here if she doesn't want anyone? How can she earn more if she will have no friends to support her discussions. . .Ah, okey, maybe she just loves to read the discussion and doesn't want to earn. . . Maybe.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
I don't discount the fact that she enjoys to be a fence sitter and a freelancer and do not want to be tied down to any friend.
1 person likes this
@vnp007 (83)
• India
11 Feb 09
yes, you are right.At myLot here, nobody cares about people like us to respond, if we are lonely. People are mostly responding to discussions they or their friends belong. And we have to wait for days or months to get a single response.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
Well, unfortunately sometimes yes. Slowly you will make your presence felt here and people will come to your discussions. just be patient.