What causes some people to hold on to their issues...
By TLChimes
@TLChimes (4822)
United States
February 12, 2009 9:45am CST
far longer then they should?
I know people who love long after it is healthy. I know of people who send a person from their life yet can't seem to let them go. They follow them in anger and insult, yet claim to be wronged.
I know of people who hold grudges, and fear to an unhealthy level.
This is true even of educated, spiritual people who claim to be above it all. If a feeling or thought is unhealthy shouldn't it be freed, let go?
How do you find it in yourself to "let it go?" How do you free yourself of your baggage? What about the baggage others try to give you?
2 people like this
6 responses
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
But do you search out the person to cause issue in their life or do you live your live with that and learn from what you see as a lesson from them?
I learn and try to move on but I know this person who insists on following her ex-friend and poking at them. I don't see that as healthy or even sane.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Feb 09
Yes, it can be annoying when people do this...especially in regard to other people they need to shed. I can shrug off the person but the pain they inflicted becomes a part of me somehow and I don't know how to get rid of that. The reaction to being cheated on and lied to, the rejection. I have let these things diminish me somehow as a person, as someone worthwhile, valuable and loveable. I have lost my self confidence and my self respect along the way. The trashing of the relationship and along with that our plans and hopes and dreams, that is not a worry any longer because I left the relationship behind when I let go the man. It's the damage to me that remains and I have no idea how to fix it.
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
13 Feb 09
In my case it's an ex-friend who insists on following the places I go and the things I do. She belittles me publicly and does two things that really bug me. She will read something I write and if it is something she can back talk against, she does. Other wise she takes it as her own.
I don't usually see it until others point it out because I don't try to have her in my life.
The part that bothers me the most is that she ended the friendship because I'm uneducated, bitter, and mean. None of that (other then education) do I see in myself or actions. But I'm the type to take things and listen to them even when I know they are wrong. My heart and head aren't always on the same page.
It took a minute but I finally figured out that I'm not the nut. I and be true to who I am because of the friends that friend wanted me to rid myself of. They got me through when I was hardest hit.
It's been over a year and still she follows me. It's tough to let go when you are looking over your shoulder. Make sense?
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Feb 09
Yes, it does make sense...I think. In that case, I would be getting a restraining order because she is doing you harm and stealing from you. She obviously needs some sort of medical attention. Hope you find the right path soon...the path that she can't follow.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
13 Feb 09
i think every one takes a different amount of time and it can depend on how close the person was to the person that harmed them and how they harmed them etc.. some people time can only cure the problem while others have to deal with it head on..
1 person likes this
@become (89)
• United States
14 Feb 09
For me, there is a point when enough is a enough. Whenever you keep thinking about the situation, or whatever is causing the pain, I begin thinking about what I want and the ideal situation. In doing this, my thoughts are productive and positive and never involve another party.
@extromadball (70)
• United States
13 Feb 09
chimes we are human enigmas. we all in some way do these things. sometimes you never know until it happens to you. how will you play out the situations of certain scenarios. To let it go we just have to forgive within. Say to yourself i forgive "said person. for whatever it was. you don't have to even be around that person. you don't have to even see that person just forgive the act or the past. it can work and it has worked for many. i used to hold grudges till i got educated and since i love knowledge and the way the mind works i can't help but find it funny something simple as this can heal the mind almost better than therapy or a psychiatrist visit.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Humans are a confusing lot aren't they?
I have a practice of writing letters to people that go into this sealed "mail" box. It contains letters that will never be sent but that say all the things I thought I needed to say. It's important to my "deal with it" stage to let out my feelings and thoughts.
@caseycarmen (93)
• China
13 Feb 09
the way see it,it is because people like to think they're right,after all those year of anger and queationing and not letting go,it's all started to make sense.even it's not the case.
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