I feel that I have done worng by marrying

Are you sure that what you want is not just a simpler life.I am a man to and a lot of time the worries of life get me down.will i have a job tomorrow?if i call in sick today to work will my family suffer? why is the dog barking? why is the baby crying? if you are like me you remember back to a simpler time when all you had to worry about was your self.but, before you make up your mind remember also about the time you drag your self in from that bad day at work and you had someone there waiting trying to take your mind off it and showing they cared.or when you seen your child for the first time.We have a saying here,"be carefully what you ask for,you may get it".A lot of times life has a way of beating a man to the ground.We have to stand back up,shake dust off and continue with life. remember when life gets hard there is one group that is always on your side.your wife and kids.they may not tell you that every day but, they are.

Chances are if you left your wife and went back to your carefree bachelor days, they wouldn't be as fun as you remembered. You might have a lot of fun at first, but it would get old after awhile. You'd want more structure in your life. It sounds like you need some sort of compromise. Maybe one free night every now and then to go wherever you want to and return home whenever you want to. Then the rest of the days, you come home to be with your family. Talk to your wife about this. Maybe give her one free night every now and then to go out with her friends and you stay home with the kids. Having a tiny bit of freedom could make you both a lot happier.

Well I guess you were not ready to commit at the time of your marriage. I am married and am quite happy where I am right now. Maybe because our personalities differ I am more of a home buddy kind of person and I really love to stay indoors than outdoors. in your case you seem to enjoy the outdoors. I guess part of being a married person is that you have to commit your time more with your family than with others if you learn to appreciate these things then I don't see any reasons that you would enjoy your married life.

hello krupseh i think that you have done the correct thing in staying with your wife and your two sons. your college days are by the way side now and you have a family to take care of, love and support. have a guy's night out once a week, and then let your wife do the same thing, let her go to a ladies night out with her girlfriend or girlfriends once a week. maybe that will relieve some of your stress that you are feeling. also, plan an activity for a family thing every weekend to spend time all together, and then do not forget to spend time alone with just your wife. when your children get home from school today, give them big hugs and tell them that you love them. that is if they are in school. (hugs) take care and have a beautiful afternoon.

Yes, I think it's easy to feel that way. Having a mate to live and work together with, plus kids to care for can feel like it's binding, especially for some independent types... Still, I think, if there is love in one's life, it's never a mistake. Love is giving, and sacraficing for another, after all, at least that's how I see it. So it sort of takes a change of attitude, and I figure that when I'll see my kids grown, and as productive individuals, it'll be worth it all! Plus, also when I get older and I'll have someone by me, someone that I went through thick and thin together with, well, to me it's worth it.

when your singel you what to be marryed. when your married you what to be singel ( for some)being young is great we would all like to go back and have those time again. but stop thinking about the past and look at all the things you can do with you wife and children. dont just go home and sit down and stay in all nigth. go out anywhere to the park, shopping, the pictures. have fun act like kids if you like am sure your wife will like it to. dont keep looking at what you use to have and look at what you have. thank God for it, becouse some people wish they had what you got, or sadly use to have it.

I think that you've got married early just based on your story. No matter how many times you reminisce and think about what could happen, you can't turn back time. I hope that you will be happy in your life and make the most of it.

It may seem better being single when you are married and have to spend your life working to provide for your family. You are lucky because you have a loving wife and already two children and you are still young. Your children will grow older and you will still be young enough to do things you care unable to do now. If things were not good in your family then you would have reasonto consider being single again but that is not the case. You are really ectremely lucky that you are happily married. Life would not have been as good if you were single. You would have been alone with no family waiting to welcome you when you arrive home and probably would have gone from one relationship to another. You know what they say about the grass being greener on the other side right? The thing they don't tell you is that it needs cutting too You are lucky Mr. Krupesh and if you find your mind wandering and thinking about how it could have been well you know what to do now - open your computer and come here on mylot among your new found friends!

I find this somehow disturbing. I'm not married, but when I do marry in the future, it'll be when I know that I wouldn't want anything else in the world but to commit my time and my life to that special person. I wouldn't want to have the same regrets as you. I don't know if it's normal, but it's sad to think that although your actions show that you commit yourself to your responsibilities, it is not something that you'd do all over again if you had the chance to go back in time and change your mind. Thanks for the response on my discussion!

I think to a certain extent it is normal in the drudgery of everyday life especially when you have children to reminisce about a more exciting existence. I went through this a while ago. I am married with a child and I had to make contact with my ex husband in regards to a financial matter; he was my childhood sweetheart, we met at school when I was 15 and got married exactly 7 years to the day later. Our relationship obviously did not work for many reasons but we did have a lot of fun times because we literally grew up together. When we caught up on the phone (he has re-married also) I began to feel what you describe in your discussion because by catching up with my ex I went back to a more fun time in my life. I felt like this for a while until my little girl ran up to me and threw her arms around me and I suddenly I felt all I ever needed is right here right now. I think if you share your sentiments with your wife you may find she probably feels the same. I think when we long for things that are gone we seem to remember only the good times and forget any negative memories such as in my case I missed my ex until I decided to recall exactly why we broke up, suddenly the past did not look so good. Chances are if you went back to your college days after a while you would miss the companionship of your family. Talk to your wife take some time away from the kids and have a little fun!

Your college days is a part of your life already, you're just missing those happy days being single. Am sure, however you won't want to to lose you family either. Having a happy living with a beautiful and lovable wife and 2 cute kids, is a great accomplishment. You're so lucky to have what others are dreaming of. Just look back to the happy memories of the good old college days and dream of a more beautiful college days for your kids. Happy Valentine to you and the family. Krupesh...

I think a lot of people feel this way especially those who are really into spontaneity. Often at times those who get into routines it seems like life is just living to live. The fun times that we once had aren't there the thrill of the catch isn't there. I think it's natural to have that need and want to be back in your college days. I have a question for you. Do you spend all your time with your wife? Do you both do everything together leaving no time with friends etc? Perhaps its time to go out with the guys and have a designated night where it's just you and them. The problem with spending all your time with her is that it tends to make life just an every day thing. As much as we love our significant others we need that time apart. Girls night and guys nights. i do this with my fiance and it ensures that nothing ever get's boring or the same. I let him go out and forget all his inhibition and get slammed some times just so that he feels like he can have fun again. Try to switch things up but most importantly be sure to always communicate with your wife. If your feeling like your doing the same thing be sure to ask her if you guys can have your own nights out. Giving you both time away from your kids etc. hope this helps All the best. Amanda

hmmm I wouldn't say it is wrong but I would want my freedom back...

thats why being married is a big RESPONSIBLE... so you should stand up by that...all of us feels different things like saying to ourself that we shouldnt do it or should do it... That is what you called life... we really experienced many things... well for me, you should accept the things you are in now... eventhough u want to go back in old days u can't bcoz life changes..and we should accept that... just be happy with ur life now especially ur lucky to have ur own family... a lovable wife and kids...

I think that if you could poll most couples at the point in their marriage that you are you would find that vast majority feel just as you do. At the very least one, but maybe even both. It is a big adjustment getting married. Somehow we go into it never really understanding what it will be like and how much it will change our lives. And then along come the children and it get's three times worse. Now both of you are strapped down so to speak. But I can tell you from many years of marriage that in spite of all that and the adjustments we have to make it is still very well worth it. Sure you do loose the freedom you use to have but it works that way for both of you. What ever you do talk it out with her and let her know how you feel. Good chance she feels the same but together you can find it even better now. I know from reading some of your other answers here that you have no intention of running away but just miss what was. That is okay because that is what memories are for. You have memories of what you did before marriage and now you are making memories being married. I am 68 years old. I have done a lot of things in my life and am now married for the third time. No matter what it still is better together than apart. Sure there is something to be said for that sense of freedom but it can be lonely at times also. Especially as you get older. So have your dreams of yesteryear but hold on tight to your family and love them dearly because I can tell you, you will turn around one day soon and your children will be gone and you will ask yourself what happened. You will wonder how time could have flown by so fast. No one is guaranteed tomorrow so hold on and love them now while you still can. You truly have in your possession what life is all about. A good and loving wife and children and when it is all looked back on you will come to understand how valuable that is. To look at your children as they grow older and come to realize that you are the reason they are doing well is the greatest feeling you will ever know. So please don't look back and ask what if. Look forward and ask how can we make this better now. You will never in your life regret it.

I understand what your saying. Being single it seemed that life was all about the hunt. Going out looking for the right partner, and having fun. You did that. And you won, you have a wife and kids. Someone who loves you. Its ok to be a little nostalgic about the past, but when you start to, remember all that you have now. You will notice that those feelings of wanting to live the past again will go away.

You're the type of guy that I see on Divorce Court. To me, if you're married and have kids, put yourself last and do the best for your kids. If you didn't have kids, I would say get out and don't let your wife suffer from being married to someone who doesnt love and respect her as much as someone should. I'm not trying to be rude, but I had this happen to my friend and his dad left his mom for her best friend.. they didn't get married, he just fooled around with tons of women. Now his child (my friend) is suffering and has for some years now. His mom has let it go but my friend hasn't. To me its all about the kids after you have them and no one else.

Of course when you have no commitment, life is easy.You can be a butterfly, come in and out at any time, no worries, no one o give explanations, to. Oce you made a commitment, everything changes. When kids are small, life can be very challenging - you're tired, always noise, always something to do, you have no personal life, everything you do is for others. But, when you think that "the others" are you, in a smaller version, than you can take it that you're doing everything for yourself. When they are teenagers, you miss the times they were smaller and the times you had with them. Even if you had kids, without marriage, you still had to be commited, to raise them and provide for them the best you can. You know, after a while, being single and doing whatever you want, becomes boring. Being with your family, it's always having something new, it's rather exciting...

well i am not yer married but yes i feel the same as why all this marriages , i feel is simple that what is there in marriage , after marriage enjoyment then children but later on responsibilities will increase and well we need to come home on time , we cannot do what we want to do and so on, so well some time i feel that why to marry it would be a happy life without marriage only

thats called being responsible. i am married too with 3 lovely kids, it is b/c of them that i am living. going back to my college years will never be the same as now that i am married. life is more interesting and challenging now