will you expect appreciation from your children?

@amrith (291)
India
February 12, 2009 3:54pm CST
mothers do so much sacrifices for their children . if they ask or not but will you expect any thing from them or for simple love you are doing all n?
2 people like this
5 responses
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Ahh the hardest question to answer. However, I been at both ends of this. I am a daughter and also a mother. Now that I my son is a teen ,I can say I have my share of sacrifices too. I also have the burden of being the eldest daughter to a very traditional family. it is normal in our tradition / culture that when our parents get old, we take care of them including their financial worries and all. Which stressed me out alot because I manage to get my own bills paid, and don't have extra to spare for them. so broken between the expectations of my parents and my own expectations of what kind of mother I need to be. If I shell out money to care for my parents, and provide them a place to stay at our home, then we will be squeezed in small rooms. If I care for my parents, I feel I am neglecting the needs of my children because they won't have any extra space at home, such as their own room and much more. My parents are really traditional, old school, so this means no friends allowed at home too. If I am a good daughter then I will be for sure the bad mother, who puts their child second. If I a am a good mother, then I would be for sure the bad daugther who did care for her parents at old age. I mean, my parents say that because they raise me, I am expected to in return take care of them when they age, to repay them for all the sacrifices they went through to care for me as a child.
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
12 Feb 09
With this, I could only expect them to love me. But what would “love” entails? Because I put my children’s needs first, does that mean I don’t love my parents? Of course, not I love them, but How can I prove it if their meaning of “love” is so far fetch that I cannot do. I thought love is priceless, in this case. It is costing a lot of drama between our family. What do I do. I love my children, and it is my responsibility to provide for them right? will I expect any in return when they are older. I definitely can say “NO” because I been through this struggle and cannot expect my children provide for me when I am older because they have children of their own that they need to care for too.
@amrith (291)
• India
13 Feb 09
Yes such a thought provoking comment you explained your heart. I feel you are a perfect and understanding daughter and mother in heart congratulations
• India
13 Feb 09
I would not expect appreciation in terms of cash or kind. Mother and child’s relation should be restricted to selfless love and only then can it stay the same throughout the life. I have seen many mothers (or parents) expecting money from their children in old age and while they have every right to do so, sometimes the children cant live up to their expectations because they have their own expenses too. It creates an unnecessarily acrimonious situation. I would like to avoid getting into that.
@amrith (291)
• India
13 Feb 09
An understanding mother .yes mothers should understand their children's problems and shoud not expect much from them.
@lazeebee (5468)
• Malaysia
13 Feb 09
It's best not to expect too much. When you're doing something/sacrificing for your children, it's because you want to do it, and not because they ask you to. So believe that you did it because you love them, not because you expect something (like love or appreciation) from them. This way, you won't be so disappointed if they do not reciprocate your love or kindness.
@amrith (291)
• India
13 Feb 09
Such a thoughtful concept yes mothers are loving their children not expecting any thing but because it is their need to love them
• Canada
12 Feb 09
Hello Me personally I do it out of love for the most part. However i do excpect some things in return and I do not think it is asking to much. I ask him to bring his dishes to the sink, put his clothes in his laundry hamper, clean up his toys. The main reason i ask this of him is to teach him responsibility, so he can become an independant and successful adult.
@amrith (291)
• India
13 Feb 09
One of the qualities of an ideal mother you have. of course all mothers do every thing to make their children capable enough to face the world
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
i am only but human so i expect that i get a little appreciation. i am a single mom of four children and i am doing my best so that they will have a good life. but a kiss and a thnak you is okay. my son even gave me roses for christmas and i was very very touched by it. i will lie if i say that it is okay if my kids will not appreciate the things i am doing for them but i am proud to say that i raise them to be good children that is why i get the aprreciation. i also appreciate them when they do good things so it is a two way situation.
@amrith (291)
• India
13 Feb 09
very touching and true explanation May these two way appreciation fill your life through out the years