Teenagers ,wot,eh,na.

@suzzy3 (8357)
February 12, 2009 4:45pm CST
Can you have a full conversation with your teenager,because we find it impossible,yet at school he got b in his english oral gcse on Romeo and Juliet.How is that we nearly fell off out chairs when his teacher told us how good and fluent he was,we were really pleased he was talking to someone.He is my third teenager and our other two did get moody but at least they would stay in the same room,If we start a chat with out son he thinks we are picking on him,we ask him how he is and he says "why what have you heard," I just say nothing we are just trying to talk to you and then all hell breaks out,with us trying to ruin his life and take over his thoughts.We are just asking a general question.How can a happy hello sound like a threatening third degree,so we just watch his moods and wait for him to tell us stuff.The school texts my husband to let us know if he has an exam,otherwise we would not know,We complained at school that the exams are a mystery to us,and he does not tell us anything.I know he is not the only one like it but it does get frustrating when you live and die for your kids.I told the school that we try to encourage him,help him and support him in general ,but he won't let us.We realise he is independent and likes to handle things himself he has passed seven gcse at C which is really good considering he is still fifteen,it would just be nice to be kept in the loop.
3 people like this
4 responses
• United States
12 Feb 09
Teens are a breed all their own, and yet just the same as we were at that age. I think at times we as parents forget that we were teens. We forget that we too didn't want to share everything with our parents, that we were trying to find ourselves, find our identity, and break from the mold so to speak. I think the best thing that can be done in this situation is to let him know you are there for him but give him some space. Not that you don't have a "right" to know his grades, his test dates, etc but perhaps not nagging him will help you to ease the tension. It shows him that you do trust him to do the right thing by not constantly asking him what's up all the time. Best of luck. Anora
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Feb 09
It sounds like he was raised right, as the saying goes here across the pond. I think he'll be fine if you have an open door policy. Perhaps you can have an agreement that he can come to you to talk when he wants to but that you won't ask him. Then just be open to it when it occurs. I know it can be frustrating, but sounds like he'll turn out ok.
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@suzzy3 (8357)
22 Feb 09
Thanks for that it has helped a great deal in actual fact when I ignore him not make him a drink ect,walk past without talking in actual fact things that I consider rude he loves me he has started talking to me,I just keep the answers short and sweet and that works just fine,I do find it hard though as I like a good chat but have buttoned it and it is working fine.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
13 Feb 09
teenagers are a trip. i had two a long time ago. they are in their own little world.
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@suzzy3 (8357)
17 Feb 09
How right you are.x
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@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
17 Feb 09
mine turned out pretty good, lol. hope yours does.lol
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@spalladino (17925)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Ah, yes, teenagers. I raised four kids and they all went through these weird personality changes between the ages of 13 until around 18. They test you...it's part of their development to test their limits and to try to forge some sort of independence...but that doesn't mean that you're required to take cr@p from them. My kids learned early on how far they could push me and how ugly I could become if pushed too far. They also learned the warning signs that they were entering dangerous territory so they knew when to back off. Don't let your son be disrespectful. Believe it or not, he wants limits...he doesn't want to be in charge and he does want your involvement and your attention. Hang in there!
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@suzzy3 (8357)
12 Feb 09
Thanks for your words of support my husband does go mad at times when he is rude to me.We have never had the system of making him our best friend as like you say they like to have someone to show them the right way to behave ,he has enough friends .I suppose it just gets me down sometimes having the constant stress of it all thanks for reminding me that it will come to an end and they need someone to fight against.I have to be strong and I thank you for your kind words,sometimes it is just nice to have someone remind me.xx
@CRIVAS (1820)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
I think that being evasive and testy are all part of the teenage temperment. My daughters are not teenagers yet but I do have a 12 year old sister who seems to be a lot older than she really is. I can't tell you how annoying it can be to try to have a conversations with her. I ask her anything and sometimes she thinks that I am spying for our mother which I would never do.
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