"am i sexy'???

@riyasam (16571)
India
February 13, 2009 9:19am CST
i wonder why some women are in love with the above question or"am i pretty?" or "do you find me attractive?" i find these questions senseless... do you?
11 people like this
35 responses
@sunil_008 (1270)
• India
13 Feb 09
Hi, as a man i don't think this is a pointless question for a woman. i think she's always checking her status and the attention from her partner through these questions. i think women always have that insecurity feelings in them no matter how sexy or pretty they are...:)
2 people like this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
13 Feb 09
dont men ever feel insecure?????????
1 person likes this
@sunil_008 (1270)
• India
13 Feb 09
yes they do feel it . but less than what their counterparts feel.so inn my knowledge its very less times a man asking to his partner about his looks. well there is also another reason involved in this though...:)
2 people like this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 Feb 09
cqme to think of it,my partner doesnt ask me question much,my curiosity is aroused,whats the second reason?????
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56718)
• Delhi, India
14 Feb 09
Ha! Ha! ha!When I read the heading of your discussion, I was really taken a back.............LOL! I thought for a while that what made Riya ask this question.............!!! Riya! You see, everyone likes to be complimented and everyone loves to receive positive appraisal. So if I say to any young lady that 'You are pretty'......it will surely give her some good and positive feeling and it will raise her self-esteem....and in her heart of heart.........she may think "Look, I have a charming face and I can attract others". On the other hand, it is also said that 'Beauty is skin deep' and 'Looks are deceptive." It means that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty(looks). Let those person feel happy, who love to hear these comments. this way they might be fulfilling their emotional needs.
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 Feb 09
as you said everybody likes to be complimented,then why i cant ask whether i am sexy or not(joking)i suppose,i am slightly different from others in the sense that i do like to hear compliments but i donot ask for them.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56718)
• Delhi, India
14 Feb 09
I can say you are more than sexy and beautiful because you are beautiful and nice from inside and this counts more than the outer beauty............!!! I support your view that you do not go for asking compliments, they should come your way naturally and automatically.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
22 Mar 09
i think i have outer beauty also.
1 person likes this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
27 Feb 09
Who cares. It really doesn't matter as long as you're a good person inside.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
22 Mar 09
beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
@camomom (7536)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Beauty is what you are inside not how you look outside. I know some unattractive people that are the most beautiful people I know. I also know some very attractive people that are the ugliest people I know.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
23 Mar 09
i knew of a very beautiful teacher but students used to be scared to go near her as her mouth used to smell badly(whenever she opened her mouth)
• India
13 Feb 09
yeah true.....Most of women said like that..BUt i think person should love the nature of other person rather then thats prettiness or attractiveness ......Beauty is not on face its in heart and mind
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
13 Feb 09
some people are like white-washed tombs (stinking on the inside)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Feb 09
i totally agrre beauty is not wats on da outside its wats inside
2 people like this
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Feb 09
some people my not b pretty or nice but they have da kindest heart dan any 1
2 people like this
• United States
13 Feb 09
women are molded to feel that they need to be attractive and some people think that is all they are here for.. so therefore they ask to see how they add up in your eyes to get an idea of how they may appear to others.. some women wanna hear they are sexy but not cute.. or cute or pretty etc.. i think every woman has a preference for one word more than others lol
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
13 Feb 09
maybe they are fishing for compliments!!!!!talk of desperation.!!!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Feb 09
yeah i would say a lot of them are fishing for compliments
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 09
thanks for the br
@balasri (26549)
• India
23 Mar 09
Generally certain questions are asked by people at certain stages of their lives. It is the wrong question at the wrong stage that sucks.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 May 09
now that has given me many ideas,maybe its right if ones asks to the right person!
@balasri (26549)
• India
14 May 09
Perfectly right to ask the right question to the right person at the right time.
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
23 Mar 09
I am not sure Mabel for I do not ask stuffs like that.Leave alone asking, I do not even think about sch questions! I think, today these expressions are so much in and young people think its cool to be hot or sexy or happening. Its just the time we are living in and while in old times people would have expressed the same differently, today's generation are at ease with such expressions.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
23 Mar 09
i would say TO EACH HIS OWN.i donot ask such questions either except once i did ask to my hubby(i saw it in a serial,i donot remember which one???)
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
23 Mar 09
These serials are so full of there..I tell you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Feb 09
See i don't care if someone thinks i am sexy, attractive, or pretty. I want someone to think so hey i like her she is smart and kind. Although someone thinking i am pretty never hurts. LOL
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 Feb 09
even i do like compliments but i donot want to beg others for their compliments......
• United States
14 Feb 09
I don't either because then its not a true compliment.
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
13 Feb 09
hmmm good question riya so now i will ask you?am i sexy?.well the answer is"confident makes the women sexy or pretty"
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 Feb 09
well...i would say,i am pretty confident about my looks and i know you too are sexy(after being in contact with you)
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
14 Feb 09
@amirev777 (3916)
• India
14 May 09
hi riya i think every women likes herself to be desirable, attractive. coz over the generations, beauty has been the virtue that has been associated with women.while earning capacity is something that has been associated with men.that is why the age old saying-that u shud not ask a women her age and man his salary.but u blame it on testosterones,dopamine or other male hormones-men will always give more weightage to beauty rather then brains, when it comes to choosing a partner-which is unfortunate, but thats the way the brain of a man is programmed.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 May 09
yup,man and women are so different but they need each other for survival.
• India
23 Mar 09
Well RIya, I have not really given much importance to such questions before, but now, at the wrong end of 30, I sometimes find myself standing before the mirror and asking myself similar questions. No the ‘sexy’ one but the ‘pretty’ one…OK If not ‘pretty’ really but I find myself scanning my face to see how exactly do I look, scanning my body’s reflection…trying to see any semblance of that woman, only 10 years back, who looked good without even trying to do so. I believe, every human being at some point of time, laments the passing of youth…it has to be otherwise youth would not have been hailed so much. Its always a question of keeping ahead of times, ahead of the girl or guy next door…its an indirect boost to confidence.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
23 Mar 09
thanks for the forthright answer,i have not developed any signs of aging like wrinkles etc
• India
23 Mar 09
I dont know that i am sexy. But in college days girls saw me like wild. I think that time i am a sexy guy. I completed now my college life and married person, so for me i an a sexy guy for my wife only.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
23 Mar 09
thats a good answer.
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
I may not be beauty concious or whatever, but I sometimes ask this question either to my husband to my daughter. But the purpose of asking is not to get a truthful answer for I already know what my real self is, it's more of a joke. We joke about it in the family.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
23 Mar 09
sometimes i do ask whether i am looking ok??(it irritates my hubby to no end)
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
13 Mar 09
I find the question pointless too. I mean if a man is with me no doubt he finds me attractive right? So I have no need to ask the question, not to mention the guy I recently went out with told me throughout the night how pretty he thought I was, but he was questioning whether I was interested or not. I think a lot of the time people (men and woman) need reassurance from time to time.
@riyasam (16571)
• India
22 Mar 09
some men sure do know how to perk up our egos.
@jambi462 (4597)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Sometimes yes sometimes no but I think that it's hard for everybody to find true beauty within themselves. It's much easier for me to find beauty in someone else rather then myself. But we tend to overanalyze ourselves much more then most human beings would do to us. I don't know some people just care a lot about looks and stuff like that and you have to realize that in the end people will be people.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
18 Feb 09
thanks for the response.
• United States
16 Feb 09
There are some women who aren't quite sure if they're good enough and they need to be reassured. When so much of what you see as a positive for women is physical beauty and those who don't measure up are ignored or ridiculed, you can understand why a woman wants to hear that they're pretty. Unfortunately they need it for their own self respect.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
18 Feb 09
thanksfor the response.
@Vaddiba (190)
16 Feb 09
The reality is that it's desirable for women to feel and be attractive. Virtually all women like to be complimented for their appearance. The vast majority of woman make a real effort to look great. After all, human beings are visual creatures. As human beings, we instinctively like to feast our eyes on beauty. That is undeniable. Some woman who ask, "Do you find me attractive?", already know that they're "bombshells". They just need to walk into any room to prove the point. These women know they're special and they're seeking to boost their egos even further by explicit verbal confirmation. Hmmm... how empowering. And then ... there are those women who ask the question based on doubts about their own attractiveness or lack thereof. It's important to woman that they feel attractive, especially to men. And there isn't anything wrong with that. Men love beautiful women; and women who look after themselves. The evolution of the cosmetics and beauty industry is a clear indication of how a woman's appearance is central to her own sense of wellbeing. And long may women continue to take great pride in their appearance. I don't want to imagine the alternative. (LOL) From the perspective of a man, I don't think the question is senseless. The question ties into society's visual expectations of women, who at times feel vulnerable and unappreciated. And, on the other hand, it's a question asked by some women who already belief in themselves and who are confident in showing off.:)
@riyasam (16571)
• India
16 Feb 09
thanks for the response.ya,unappreciation leads to loss of confidence in oneselveswhich inturn leads to insecurity.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
15 Feb 09
When they ask these questions, it is because they feel that they are not good enough. They feel beneath themselves. They may could also have a very low self-esteem. The questions does sound very senseless, but it is a perfect explanation of why they are asking these questions. I really think that it is senseless, if they know that they have it going on, but still chose to ask these questions..
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
5 Mar 09
as someone pointed out,it may be okay to ask these questions to somebody close but not otherwise.........
• United States
15 Feb 09
I might if I were not a woman. They are a shortcut in saying "I feel insecure, please say something nice to help me feel better about myself." I catch myself saying short little phrases to get some sort of reassurance from my partner. "Do I bore you?" It rarely has anything to do with the recipient of the question, mainly just from thoughts that are in ones head.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
5 Mar 09
i sometimes do tell him to ask me"am i getting bored".he just rolls his eyes which implies that i have a big fat ego.
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
15 Feb 09
I find it annoying that some women have a constant need for reassurance. I knew one who drove her partner away because of her insecurities. She would get all dressed up and look great and I know she knew she looked good but she still needed him to make a huge deal about and Heaven help him if he didn't! I remember one time we were all sunbaking by the pool at their house and he happened to compliment me on how well my tan was coming along (this was before we all became aware of the dangers of too much sun) it was a genuine compliment not meant as a "come on" of any sort, but upon hearing it she became infuriated and ran inside screaming," Well I can't compete, can I?" Personally I didn't know we were in a competition to begin with!
@riyasam (16571)
• India
16 Feb 09
my,my,talk about desperation!!!