Any thoughts or advice?
February 15, 2009 2:23am CST
Hello fellow mylotters, Hope everyone is having a good day or night :) Alright so I am in a long distance relationship with my gf. We live in separate countries, she lives in the philippines while I live in the U.S. I love her very much and I would do anything for her. We have been talking about her coming here around next christmas, but tonight i was talking to a girl that is originally from the philippines and now is married living in the U.S. I told her about my gf in the philippines and wanting to bring her to the U.S. and then she told me the only way was to fill out a i129f fiance form which means that We have to be married within 3 months of her being in the U.S. or she will be sent back to the philippines. I love her very much so marrying her isnt really the problem, I want to marry her, but it all seems so rushed only 3 months. Im 18 years old and she is 19. I am a full time college student and I dont go to school in the same state I live in so its hard to get a job cuz i cant stay in the dorms during the summer. I've been looking at ways to make money online, but it hasnt led to much just a lot of scams. I take 16 hours of class a week, im done at 4:15pm everyday so i mean there is time at night for a part time job, but i dont know if thats the best thing especially now that I only have 9 more weeks of school before I go home for the summer. So im a little lost, any thoughts or advice. What do you think the best thing to do is?
1 person likes this
16 Feb 09
If your gf is just visiting then I don't think she doesn't need to marry you to visit! She can just get a temporary visa right? You guys shouldn't rush into marriage. i think it's a very foolish thing to do. Sometimes love isn't enough reason to marry someone. You haven't even graduated yet. Plus you need to make sure that you are in a good financial position to provide for your family. Please think about this again.
• United States
16 Feb 09
No she wasnt just gonna come visit. she was gonna come live and work here, but in order for her to come here she has to either have a job offer here, have relatives here or marry an American citizen within 3 months or she has to go back to the philippines. I do want to marry her, but I would want to wait a while after we met to do that. The opportunities here are far greater than any opportunity she has there and I would love to have her with me, its not like I would never meet her before she came here, Im hoping to go there this summer and meet her and we were hoping for next summer that she would be able to come here. I dont think graduation has much to do with it, what it comes down to is what my parents think about it cuz they control my college.
16 Feb 09
I would say at your age you should not commit to a marriage yet. You still have many fruitful years to enjoy your singlehood and getting married now at this age is a costly mistake which will haunt you for the rest of your life. Don't be blinded by love as you need to know the women well before jumping to conclusion. They are many instances girls just want to escape the cycle of poverty to be in the land of their dreams only to find themselves living in incompatible relationship. It might only be a stepping stone and would leave as soon as they find better choices. I may sound too negative but this is what I have seen and heard. So think wisely before you take the most important decision in your life.
16 Feb 09
She's coming to the U.S. to see you maybe because of your invitation to come, she will understand your situation, however if plans changed. You can come to the Philippines whenever possible for you to visit her instead, while you're not yet ready to settle down. Not unless she can afford to go there just to visit you. I guess quite not possible for her to do so. You can go on with your relationship while striving hard to be stable to have a better future. Make each other an inspiration, true love can wait. Good luck to you both, being a filipina, I'll be happy if you'll be ending up with each other, when the right time comes. God bless.
15 Feb 09
i think both of you are still very young and you should concentrate more on your study at the moment... in my opinion, you have to start earning money first to be able to support yourself and have a bit of savings before you think about marriage... otherwise, it will be hard for both of you... it is my opinion though... the decision is entirely up to you... take care and have a nice day...