has anyone ever told you you're ugly?

Philippines
February 15, 2009 10:48am CST
what makes a person beautiful? is there a fixed criteria which we should stick to when trying to weigh beauty? do you think you're beautiful? has anyone ever told you otherwise? if so, what did you do? do you have a story to share? please do so. =)
3 people like this
9 responses
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I have told of ugly by kids when I was in grade school. I'm even been told that by former boyfriends! I'm not ugly! I know I'm beautiful in my own specail way and beauty is also inside a person! We are all beautiful inside and out!
3 people like this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
how rude of your boyfriends! are they even handsome? they should look in the mirror before they rain insults on other people!
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I was more shocked when I was told I was beautiful. Meant more too. I am ugly. I know it. I've been told that my outer look is ugly since my mother helped me look as awful as she could (long story for another time) The kids at school, people who didn't mean it, and older siblings when they need to add a bit to their sorry lives all made it clear that I wasn't a looker. But once I was told how beautiful I was. No, it wasn't that the person is blind to my malformed looks, it was that they were looking beyond that. They were looking at the me that people don't always notice. They thought Tammy was beautiful because of the way she held her children after a long day, the way she reached out for another's child who was hurting, and the way she still wished her friend a smile even though she was tired, hurt, and generally not having a good day. The person who told Tammy this had nothing to gain but more friendship. It wasn't a male looking for love, a child looking for praise, just a simple friend. I didn't even think of her as a "great" friend, but just a friend. She could have given me a ring that cost a million dollars and it would have meant less then the simple words she said that day. Even though the friendship has faded a bit due time and distance, she will always hold a special spot in my heart.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
it's a good thing that there are still some people who give heartfelt compliments, like your friend. i think compliments nowadays are few and far between... to cite an example, people nowadays greet each other with, "hey, you've gained weight!" when did that become an accepted greeting in our society? if it was published in an etiquette book, i must have failed to get wind of it! and your mother helped you look awful? hmm, i detect a story worth submitting to abs-cbn! =) i'm glad that despite everything you've been through, you are not jaded nor embittered and you are still a wonderful person.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I greet with a "wow, it's great to see you." I think I would have to be really impolite to someone who greeted me with my weight. A lot has changed that makes me ill thinking about it... like guys who walk with their under pants showing. And thank you for the wonderful kindness. I try to be a good person, a great friend, and the best mom. I some times miss my mark but then I'm honest about it. Simple kindnesses would make the world a better place. I wish people remembered them more. Some people miss them when they are given them, others don't know how to give them.
@GemmaR (8517)
15 Feb 09
I always think that you're as beautiful as you feel, and I have always believed that very strongly. Part of beauty is being comfortable with yourself and what you look like. I have been told that I am ugly so many times that I started to believe it, but one day I looked in the mirror and thought hang on, I'm not too bad really. Despite what they bullies say. Confidence is key I think. Love yourself, and people will love you back.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
there's something true there. it depends on how you carry yourself. if you do so with confidence, your aura becomes beautiful. =D
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
15 Feb 09
I dont remember anyone telling me I am ugly.I personally dont think that I am ugly,I am not prince charming but I do ok.Personally I think that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and waht is ugly for you is beautiful for another.Consequently I believe there is no fixed criteria and is on a person to person basis.I also think that physical beauty is overrated ,there are so many persons who are very pretty and yet their behaviour makes them awful.Once I hear an interesting perpective on a talk show and this guy claims that if you look in any of the adult movies ,most of the girls are very pretty...go figure
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
eww, that talk show guest's opinion is a rather controversial perspective, don't you think? ;D
• United States
16 Feb 09
This is a funny one. When growing up my one aunt always said hello to me by saying "Hello beautiful". I guess it stuck in my psyche because I've never thought I was ugly, in terms of my physical appearance, so I think that confidence always showed through when dealing with others that I never was told I was ugly. I tend to get many compliments on being pretty, looking younger then I am, etc. I will say that I still blush when people tell me this (so I've been told lol), and I tend to be a bit humble in my response saying thank you when I'm told. However, I do believe that I'm a beautiful person, with a beautiful mind. I think that is half the battle young women face in today's society is that they do not have the confidence to believe in their own unique beauty. The media so plays a role in this with it's unatural fake beauty that it is the job as those of us who are women in their lives to help them see this. Thank goodness for my aunt.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
thank goodness, indeed! let me share a bit of info with you... models are encouraged to be thin, as it is "easier" to display clothes on people who wear clothes like a hanger would (sooo very sorry if that sounded harsh, but i can't think of a better analogy!). so, people start to think those models have beautiful bodies. but the world of medicine begs to differ. according to their BMI, they are very underweight. a normal BMI actually makes you look a bit stockier than a regular model. so, most (if not all) models are underweight, and through medical goggles, they're "ugly." (mind you, i said MEDICAL goggles, lol) having said that, i'm not a model hater. i actually have friends who happen to be models. but my message is, not everything that is popularized as "beautiful" is indeed beautiful. and some people don't even know that being model-thin is UNhealthy. sigh.
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
i don't know if our society will ever bounce back from its perception that being thin is beautiful. being fit is beautiful, but being tin may be a health hazard. being overweight may predispose to atherosclerosis, diabetes, stroke, and coronary artery disease, but being underweight increases your risk for gastrointestinal and respiratory infections. and we all know having the spurts or a runny nose is NOT pretty! ;b so we all have to stay in between. like almost everything in life, moderation is key. and yes, a lot of studies published are not exactly good ones. (like the study released by the national cancer institute concluding that aspartame is safe). whether or not aspartame does not cause cancer in humans is still a point of argument (since there are no excellent studies so far - hey, i have yet to see a Level I aspartame study that involves humans!), the study done by NCI is definitely substandard! yet they already released a statement. sigh... hm, you should review that study. you might find more holes in the study than i did. :o
• United States
16 Feb 09
No, that didn't sound harsh. I had heard that, and agree that they are very unhealthy. I actually run a healthy lifestyles group so this is an area I've done a lot of research on, though as I warn those that participate-always read ALL of the research. There are good research studies, poorly done ones, and just because it's in JAMA doesn't make the God's truth. I really feel sorry for my students who are inidated with these poorly nourished models and then want to emulate them. All I can do as a teacher is to encourage them to be healthy over stylish. I take myself, for example. I'm not a run way model, that is for certain-but I'm healthy. The only term that I feel can adequately describe me for online discussion purpose is Amazon. Though, most from the Amazon are not quite as tall as I am. I'm almost 6 foot. However, all of my blood tests are normal, my heart is healthy, my lungs, etc. That's what I try to convey to my female students. We don't have to be paper thin to be attractive. We're attractive because we BELIEVE we are attractive. (I'm really starting to love your conversation pieces Alma).
• United States
15 Feb 09
Sure, like in the fifth grade, so that was years ago. It hurt, at first, but you can't really control what people want to see of you, so I quit caring after awhile. People have also said that I was pretty, beautiful, so whatever. Like I said, people see you how they want to see you. My own view fluctuates. I've never considered myself hideously ugly, but there were times when I thought myself as beautiful. Mostly I consider myself average at worst and pretty at best. *shrugs*
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
sometimes, my own view changes as well. i hate my hair when it's all stubborn and when it has a mind of its own. but then again, so many people are losing their hair while mine is thick and black and completely split-end free, so i try to swallow my complaints and try to be thankful instead. hehe. ;D
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Some of my friends did its because I told them first
@crigal (105)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
• Philippines
17 Feb 09
yes, that's true. but has anyone ever seen less than that in you? :) don't hesitate to share more.
@SuperJay (37)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I think that everyone is beautiful in there own special way, no matter what they look like. Its what counts inside rather than outside. You shouldn't really compare to anyone else to how you look because it only leads to negative things. As for me, I always say that I'm ugly, mostly because I am and because when someone says otherwise, I'll feel cheered up! If anyone says that I am ugly though, I won't be that much depressed because I already know I am, so it works out.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
oh no, don't ever let anyone tell you you're ugly... it's alright when someone says you look fat in a certain skirt perhaps, or that your new haircut is a little off... because i'm thinking that maybe all these people want to do is to make you aware of something which you can do something about. but when someone tells you you're ugly, i can't seem to think of any friendly motive behind it... so don't let anyone tell you this! :/ don't say it to yourself either. we may have flaws that make us undesirable candidates for "the most beautiful woman in the world," but to berrate ourselves is not necessary. that's why man invented euphemisms: they're there to express negative ideas in a positive way. hehe =)