From The Childs Side...

@twoey68 (13651)
United States
February 15, 2009 1:22pm CST
The other day I watched a video and it’s really been on my mind. I’ll add a link to it but here’s what it was about. It is a 12-year girl talking about her outlook on abortions. Now, I’m not trying to start a fight or anything but I have been thinking a lot about this lately and I’d really like to hear from both sides of the coin…hopefully rationally. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Blog/Default.aspx?id=418408 A lot of times when ppl talk about abortion it seems to center on the mothers choice…what she wants to do…after all she’s carrying the baby. I know that some ppl have no problems with abortions and look at them with no more remorse then having a tooth pulled, while others have one and their lives are forever shattered. My curiosity isn’t so much on how it affects the mother, the father or even their parents and family…mine is about the baby. For those have had abortions…before you had one did you think about what that child might grow up to be? What talents, knowledge, or impacts they would give to the world? What if one of those babies were the next Rembrandt, Mozart, or Marilyn Monroe? The fact is that there’s no way to know…not before their born. Now I know that some of the women who have abortions say they’re not ready to be parents, but there is adoption…there are hundreds of families out there that would love to adopt. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind or anything…I just wondered how many women looked at the abortion issue from the baby’s point of view. I don’t know if we can discuss this rationally but I’d like to try. Personally I could never do it but that’s just me and each person has to make their own decisions. I'm not passing judgement on anyone or criticizing anyone...I'm just wondering. So, what are your thoughts? [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
21 people like this
38 responses
@missybear (11396)
• United States
15 Feb 09
For myself I can say that I would never consider abortion. But I know there are women who have reasons for abortion like rape or they don't know how they gonna raise a child. So I could never judge anyone for doing what they feel is right for them. And you right, they will never know what would have become of there child.
4 people like this
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I agree that ppl probably have their reasons and we're each entitled to our own choices...I just wondered if ppl that have had one stopped to think of the child and what might have been. Would it have their mothers eyes, their dads nose, would it have done well in school, gotten married and had kids, gone into the military...the millions of questions that parents who choose to keep their babies think of. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
3 people like this
@mommaj (22770)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I am sure people think of what might have been. They probably even stop and think maybe they shouldn't have done it. I knew a girl that put her child up for adoption and she wonders about him alot! She can't even attempt to contact him until he's over 18.
4 people like this
@missybear (11396)
• United States
15 Feb 09
My mom had given my older brother to his dad when he was 2 years old. She never seen him again until he found her on the internet a few years back. They had a big reunion. I still haven't met him yet but we write to each other.
3 people like this
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
my, even children now are giving their thoughts about issues which should not even supposedly, concern them at all. i pity those children for having been dragged into issues as serious as this, twoey. it is true that the mothers to be who are not ready to grow their own children, have adoptions to back them up. it is true also that there are a lot of would be parents who would be looking forward to adopting a child that they can call their own. adoption is a much better option than abortion, this must be thought of by those women who got pregnant. however, on another thought, i do not understand why these unwanted pregnancies still take place. there are so many ways now available to everyone very readily, so as these unwanted pregnancies will no longe be in existence. why oh why, dont these women and men avail of these ways?! how come they are still so irresponsible on this regard? they'd better wake up now.
@mommaj (22770)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I have to agree, especially about the twelve year old. I can't imagine a twelve year old thinking about "it" let alone abortion. Maybe kids are doing it at 8 or 10 years old but they certainly shouldn't be. If you don't know how to be an adult yourself, how can you reasonably raise someone else to be one. As for the abortion issue, I only believe in it for certain cases but if you are lucky enough to be blessed and you don't want the blessing then you should pass it on to someone who does.
4 people like this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
15 Feb 09
A colleague at work enlightend me in the serveral ways that an abortion can take place, this absolute horror made me decide once and for all that I am personally against adoption. Please do not read this if you are easily offended or have a weak stomache1. Baby is sucked out by a sort of vacuum cleaner and a needle is put through the baby's heart to end it's life. 2. When the baby is a bit bigger, it has to be cut in pieces before it is vacuumed out of the body; the life of the baby ends (off course) when it is cut in pieces. 3. When the baby is to big to be cut up in pieces it will be born through the regular way, I am not sure what happens to end it's life. These all sounds so horrific I could never have an abortion. I don't try to scare people, I am just stating the things I heard from a colleague. She did an assessment on this topic because she was curious how these things work. They scared the poo out of me! Also, my parents had a hard time conceiving a baby, doctors told them it was a miracle that I was born because my moms utherus was sick. It got taken out not too long after I was born. We now have foster children in our home and I can see why younger couples without children would love to adopt. I think this is a better option. It is harder on yourself, but you are giving your baby a chance to make something of his/her life and you give someone a very precious gift of bringing up a child which they could otherwise not.
• United States
15 Feb 09
I think you mean you are against abortion rather than adoption. Miracle baby, we are glad you are here! :)
3 people like this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
16 Feb 09
I am very pro-adoption indeed. Even though this is hard on the parents aswell, knowing you did a good deed and that you didn't take the life of your child would make up a lot of it. Also, you can allways try and look your child up when they are older and explain your actions. It's not a certainty that they will want to see you, but like I said, it's not just about you. You have a life growing inside of you. Take responsibility as a mother and put the babies interest first; that's what I would say if I am to be very harsh. I agree these all are awfull ways of ending a life . You are entitled to your opinion and I do agree that there are more humane ways to take someones life than the ones stated above.
16 Feb 09
These abortions are done as a last resort when the mother is quite far on and has chosen an abortion due to deformity or illness. An abortion at the earlier stage is basically a D&C. You make no room for women who have been raped or abused or even women who have been mistreated in their relationship by an abusive partner. Are you sujesting these women go through 9 months of carrying a child they dont want or a child that is a painful memory? Women must have a choice. If you dont like the choice, that is up to you, but they must be given it otherwise abortions will go on in backstreet houses like they were years ago....resulting in, sometimes, horrific outcomes. Abortion today is done in clean environments and is a safe procedure.
@rusty2rusty (6769)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Feb 09
I have often wondered the same questions. As for me I don't gree with abortion. I think it is murder plain and simple. I know others don't agree with me. Thats fine. Its their choice. I could not image my life without my children.
3 people like this
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Abortion is a very contoversial issue and everyone has their on way of thinking about it,myself I could not have one but I dont judge others for doing it.I know a couple of people that has had one and it was their choice and they are still friends of mine,as you said one of them had a near breakdown afterwards and the other one had no remorse at all.I guess it really depends on the person,I see alot of people that would be so happy to adopt and someone people just abuse the children they have and to me it is shameful to abuse anyone but expecially a child so in that case maybe they should have had a abortion.Well that is just my thoughts.You have a great day.
3 people like this
• United States
15 Feb 09
Most women who are for abortion but have not had one are out of touch. They are so about the woman's right to do what she pleases with her body. Take for example the woman who has an abortion because she did not use birth control. She had the right to do with her body and to control her body and her situation before she got pregnant. She chose not to. Once a baby is in the picture, we have another life to consider and that life should be considered first because the woman already had her chance to make her choice. Instead, she choses to be irresponsible. Women who have abortions usually fall into two categories. One would be the woman who is forever crushed over it. The other is the one who says, "You know, this is not so bad. I could do this again if I had to." If you ask them about the baby's view, they will ask you what are you talking about. It is not even a baby. It is a blob of cells. And Obama and his lovely wife have no problem killing babies who are born alive. Excellent discussion. If anyone wants to argue with me on this, forget it...
2 people like this
• United States
15 Feb 09
And if she doesn't yet, she will someday grow to resent her husband and probably herself for listening to him. That is a shame. I feel for her.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
16 Feb 09
just to let you know, yesthepayme....not all women that get pregnant unexpectedly are being lame with birthcontrol. I got pregnant and lost a baby on birth control. I also got pregnant on another form of birth control while still married but trying to leave an abusive husband and worried about how I'd raise 2 children on my own. The birth control I had was expired even tho I'd just purchased it! It was not good news. I decided to go with it and I have no regrets that I chose to keep her. It just meant sticking with the abuse a bit longer. I could not have carried her and given her up for adoption...just couldn't have. It was a struggle raising my kids on my own but I did it. They could have had and deserved a much easier life for sure. There are so many different angles to this topic....there is no right or wrong. I think we should all just stop trying to run everyone elses lives and make sure that we ourselves are setting a good example for the next generation.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
16 Feb 09
hi twoey68, I am pro-choice. I personally could never do it and trust me...I've been tested. I got pregnant twice in very compromising, thought provoking situations and unexpectedly and while using birth control. The first..I was married to an abusive husband and preparing to leave him. Low and behold the birthcontrol that the pharmacy gave me was expired by years and yes I was pregnant & already had two children. The 2nd time was years later...almost 40 and a man I ' d been dating a short time. I was now raising 3 kids on my own...pregnant. Much thought and I decided to keep her and no regrets....she has added so much to our lives. she is 15 now. Would I have thought about this so deeply had I not been given the choice? Probably not. I would have been scared, angry and maybe not welcomed my daughter into this world with the open arms that I did. It was having that choice that created the thought process that led to my decision. I think that for most, it is a very well thought out decision. As for the adoption....there are more kids waiting to be adopted than parents looking to adopt. There are many parents that would love to adopt but can't because they do not earn enough and do not own enough property and all to even qualify for adopting a child. There is much red tape involved in adopting a child. If we made abortion illegal, I am very sure it would still occur only it would go back to the days that it was underground and very unsafe. That is why it was made legal to begin with. I do think they need to change some of the laws on it but still it should be a choice.
2 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I believe in life and look upon abortion as murder, but I also know that this is only my point of view and I allow for others to have theirs. I am not living their lives and so can not judge what is right for them. I believe that each of us comes into the world to grow and maybe the children that do not get born are there only for that experience. I am not wise enough to judge this.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
I cannot see anyone wanting to kill a future child. To think that those who are for abortions think that no one but no one in the whole universe, let alone the world, will love the baby so get rid of it. It is not a child to them, it is an it. And I think of those who dearly want to have children and are unable to get pregnant, may have done something foolish that prevented them ever getting pregnant, and they have to spend the rest of their lives without a little one to hold in their arms because someone thinks that the life they are is not worth continuing. Then what about those who are raped? Surely the rapist is jumping up with glee since the evidence of his assault is being punished for his crime so he cannot be made to pay for that child's education until he is eighteen. That young girl was wise beyond her years. The unborn has not committed a crime, so why punish her or him for it by abortion?
2 people like this
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
15 Feb 09
My believe is that God puts everyone of us here for a reason, even the child that is a result of a rape or other bad situation. In fact, especially the child that is the result of a rape or other bad situation. Now, God wouldn't want us to suffer undue pain and misery but he would want a child to have the opportunity to grow up and become something great, regardless of how they were brought into this world. I have never been raped and never had to deal with such a situation but I was a teen parent. Just two short weeks after turning 17 I gave birth to my oldest child. That child has been the highlight of my life, along with my other two children. Now, here we sit thinking about college and his life plans and I can't help but to reflect on how life would have been had I chosen the option of abortion. Yes, this was an option for me, as my mother asked me if I was certain I didn't want to take that route. Every time I look into the eyes of this young man I thank God that he was brought into my life and I can't even imagine what life would have been without him. He was brought to us for a reason and I can't imagine killing him now, or even before he had been given a chance at life.
2 people like this
16 Feb 09
Hi Twoey, Abortion is a very emotive subject for some and it can cause the bitterest of arguments and fall outs in families. However, as you say, it should be a choice which will bring the best outcome for the mother more than anything as she is the one who has to go through the pregnancy and birth. Looking from the child's point of view before an abortion is carried out is, most probably, a futile process simply because noone can ever know WHAT that child will ever be or become. Yes, it could be the next Mozart or American President but equally it could be the next Jack the Ripper or Boston Strangler. The two sides are cancelled out, I believe. I am a Mother and from my own personal thoughts on parenthood and the emotion of having children I can say that adoption is something that would never suit me, no matter what the situation. I would ALWAYS put an abortion above adoption. The reason for this a complex issue of emotional guilt, wonder and the feeling of abandonment eating away at me day in, day out. If I put a child up for adoption, for example, and a year later I regret the descion so much, I dont think I could live comfortably with that. It would eat at me too much. It would affect how I am with any subsequent children and it would affect how I relax in life. I would always be waiting for that knock at the door when they turn 18, even though it wont be guarenteed. And then I will wonder why they didnt want to find me.....making me feel more guilty and sad. It is a much 'cleaner' break for a Mother to have an abortion.....if that makes sense. I know there is the argument of...."well, she should have thought about all that before she got pregnant", but what about the cases where a baby is the result of a rape or abuse? The decision can ONLY be based on how the Mother feels, rightly or wrongly.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
17 Feb 09
To a point I can see your logic and perhaps that is how you'd best handle it...for me though, the thought that I killed someone, my own child even, would haunt me even more. It would tear me apart every time I thought about it. There's also alot of women who will say that the "cleaner" break isn't as "clean" as they'd hope...there is alot of depression, regret and loss they go through. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@uath13 (8207)
• United States
16 Feb 09
& how many kids growing up in forster care would be the next Hitler, Stalin, Jack The Ripper....?
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1737)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I personally am against abortion. But I am a man so that takes some of my rights away in the decision process. I would definately think of the child. I would wonder about what it would look like and how it would be. If my wife were to abort a child I don't know how I could look her in the eye. I don't think she would do that though. But we are actually well past that in real life. My wife had a miscarriage earlier in our marriage, and I wonder what that baby would have been like, and even if it was a boy or a girl.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I think abortion is bad news for everyone! I never had one, although I did not miscarriages. I know people who have had them and regretted it, as it made them sterile. I know others who had them and still ended up with two children. So it can go either way. Make you sterile, or help you plan your family. I think it would be best if the doctors can implant the fetus into a woman that wants to have it! Or even let it develop in a test tube of some sort. I think you are correct, most people do not think it through. We have fingers, and we are still not allowed to cut off our fingers or have a surgeon cut them off, even if we do not what our fingers any longer! The biggest problem we have is tax dollars paying for abortions, yet we cannot pay for food and clothing and shelter for people who need it! We have a lot of people who need those tax dollars. What else can we do to teach the truth and to teach people how to prevent unwanted pregnancies? It is not always possible to do so yet many are desperate for children! Go figure. It has affected my life since I was a child.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Hi twoey68! I am not for abortion. I have always believed that babies are blessings and that is just me and that is my belief. I have nothing against women who have abortions because we all have our free will. I just don't think that I can do it with my own baby if ever I will have one. I don't think that I can ever justify my actions if ever I will do it and I know that my conscience will haunt me for the rest of my life. But as I have said also, we all have been given the gift of "free will" and I respect each others' decisions on this matter. We all have our own reasons why we do things the other way..sometimes, I do not understand it and even if I don't, I do accept it without judgment on my part. Take care always! Celebrate life! lovelots..faith
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Feb 09
5000 lives every hour, OMG! I am against abortion although I would not condemn any one else for doing it because it is a very personal choice. I have someone close to me who chose to abort her baby and although I don't agree with her decision, I respect it. Speaking for myself I longed for a baby that I was unable to conceive for almost 6 years so the idea of abortion is inconceivable to me. A foetus is a potential life and that's that, no matter how small the size of the foetus is, it is a life and I can't imagine deliberately taking that life. I am aware of extreme circumstances where abortion may be deemed necessary and I guess each and every individual case should be examined carefully. It is a choice for a woman that is way too easy to make. The little girl in the video is very eloquent and presents her view very well and although she seems a little too young to be dealing with such an issue she makes very good points. I urge any woman faced with this choice to please, please also look at it from the baby's point of view and consider the emotional repercussion of such a decision.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
16 Feb 09
I don't know how many have thought about the babies point of view but many have taken the decision very seriously and looked all all angles, and came up with the best solution for them. A 12 year old is not an adult she doesn't even know her own mine yet, I wouldn't compare a young girl with lets say a 30 year old woman.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Feb 09
Hi towey,First thank you for adding me to your friends list.. Now to your post.I have a sister who is very strongly against abortion. While I am not for it,I cannot say how a baby would feel seeing as how the baby has not been born yet. I don't know how the woman feels or if she gives any consideration to the baby's father's wants or to his family and whether any of them would want the baby or not. I don't think anyone thinks about what the baby would grow up to be or who it would become. Bless you.
1 person likes this
@amanda333 (739)
• France
16 Feb 09
I could never have an abortion...IT IS MURDER, plain and simple
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Hi twoey, In my 20's through my 40's I believed that abortion should be given freely if that was a choice the mother made. Well as I write it, that statement sounds so flippant. Like, do I want to eat lunch today or not? I know it's a way more involved and complicated issue then that but it's just the way it sounded. Today as I approach my 60th birthday next January, I know so much more and feel so much different. For one thing, I would never want to be in that position of having to decide whether to have an abortion or let the baby live. As you said, their is a wonderful alternative called Adoption. Without adoption, I would never have had a chance to have the most wondeerful Son in the world. He's 28 and so handsome. So many times he has pulled me through some of my most difficult times. At the same time, I do not condemn or judge those who choose to have an abortion, but if they would think just a little harder on the option of adoption, maybe it would change a bad situation to a very good one. Hugssssss leenie
1 person likes this