If your partner called you by his ex's nick name

@bcote212 (1113)
United States
February 15, 2009 10:55pm CST
So Im asking this question for a friend, because I really have no idea what advice to give so I thought I would poll my fellow mylotters. My friend apparantly was wresteling with his parter the other day, and his partner slipped and called him the name of an ex. Is this something that can be forgiven? My friend is very hurt. My buddy and his partner have been together for years, they split up for about six months but got back together in like January. He was called the pet name of a guy from within the six months while they were apart. what do you think? Is this forgiveable? What should he do?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Ok, not to make light of your friend's concern, but of course it is forgiveable! Its just a slip of the tongue. I was married to my ex husband for over 20 years. We've been divorced 10 now and I've been with my new guy almost 9 years. BUT, even I sometimes goof and say the wrong name. And my guy has done the same thing. He has called me by the name of his ex wife as well. Its not a big deal. We ALL come with pasts. And sometimes we just goof and say the wrong thing. If your friend is this emotional over this little slip up, I fear for her relationship.
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 Feb 09
Oh for heaven's sake..get over it! Haven't any of us called someone by someone else's name..ex or not? I have and my late husband did call me by his x name many times ..not that he was thinking about her. After all he did live with her and just because they are divorced doesn't take the memories out of his head. Maybe if he called me by her name in bed I might be irritated lolllllllll. Heck I called my husband by my other late husband often..not that I was thinking of him..and we would laugh. What is there to forgive? It's not a sin for heaven's sake. Jeepers you guys are so touchy! He should just laugh about it..after all who has the the girl..him or the petnamed guy!!!
• Canada
16 Feb 09
I meant my mother did with her late husband..where is my head??? must be all messed up with my pending divorce..
• United States
16 Feb 09
That's one of those things that takes a lot of apologizing and kisses to make up for. We all have those Freuding slips every now and then, tell him that it doesn't mean the end of their relationship, its just a part of the past that she forgot about.
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
I think that would make me mad if my husband will call me using his ex's name. That would be a slap on my face. That would only mean that the guy still loves his ex and that would definitley be hurting.
@22angel22 (451)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I called my hubby by my ex's name, his old best friend. I had dated the guy YEARS before him and I got together and we were just talking about him so it was kindof forgiveable. He has called me by his exs names and I was upset for awhile, but I let it go. My ex bf before my hubby though ALWAYS called me his ex's name and his grandparents did too! It was nuts.
• China
16 Feb 09
Well, if I was in yr friend's shoes, I will be very hurt and mad. I think it's better for him to calm down for a while and then see what's his partner's next move. Also think about the love between them. Maybe it's just some words that she was not intended to say and maybe there is something that triggered it. He need to find out the real reason and then decide whether to forgive or not.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
16 Feb 09
If I read your post correctly your buddy will have to get over it. It is no big deal and I am sure if the situation was reversed he would feel terrible that he did that. I guess that is why you should just call your sweety a generic nickname like "dear". I am sure it was an innocent slip and it is not like she did it deliberately. As everything else is going well if he obsesses on this one incedent he is going to blow the relationship.
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
16 Feb 09
You know we all make mistakes and I think that's what this is a simple mistake. Your friend must have felt like crap after it came out of his mouth I mean sometimes we say things before we even think about it first. Our brains are funny that way and our mouths just always seem to follow what our brains say to do and before we know it BAM! We say something that we really wish we could rewind and delete. I think flowers and some candy are in order on this one, and then some wise advice think before opening mouth.
@iamsolucky (1243)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
I will feel very very mad if this happens to me. but yes i dont think my boyfriend will call me like that. I know few names of her exe's , he told me he will never go and want them back because he is happy with me and like me very much. I believe him, but in case this will happen, i think i wont talk to him for a month, until he clears to me why he still think of her ex even he is with me. Put it this way, im sure he wont like it too if i will call him other names, like names of my exe's too. So yea, its start of a fight if this happens.But hell, i dont want this to happen, hehehehehe. Happy mylotting!!!
@reoko10 (578)
• United States
16 Feb 09
Well I think this could or could not be forgiving, because in some case he or she might have just made a mistake and it could mean nothing, but on the other hand it could mean that he or she might still have feeling for this other person and that is bad. I would say they need to talk in out and find out whats really going on because if they don't then it will always be in the back of there heads and they just wont be the same. This is something they need to work out on there on. I think it is wrong to call your partner by your ex's nick name and I would also think that the other person would be badly hurt and having all kinds of thoughts running through there head.
• United States
16 Feb 09
that is a tough one. it all depends on the girl. was she thinking of this ex of hers and accidentally called your friend by this other name? or was it an honest accident. i think that it could have been extremely innocent but you never know. they can only talk about it and work it out and see where that leaves them.
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
16 Feb 09
My wife doesn't know any of my ex-GF's nicknames, so I don't have that to worry about. She wouldn't know it if I did, and I prefer to keep it this way LOL